Critical Complexity When I heard Mr. Sabol announce the topic for W131’s latest assignment, an exploratory essay, I was furious. Of a world of scintillating and fascinating topics, he picked “writing” as the subject of the class’s papers. Writing, of course, was not my favorite theme; I felt the topic had been so overused over the course of the semester that writing any more about it would be futile and destructive to any shred of creativity the class had left. Furthermore, I had expected to be allowed to explore the topics that interested me the most outside of class[d1] . Regardless of my expectations, I had been stuck with an assignment I didn’t want to do.
Writing is a process I’ve grown to despise. Ever since grade school, I’ve had problems trying to express my ideas on paper. My writing process involves thinking about what’s being asked and trying to reflect my thoughts the best way I can on paper, but my thoughts don’t always come out as clear as I want them to be sometimes leaving a question not fully answered. My writing process isn’t a consistent set in stone process, but since being in ENC 1101 I always follow some of the same parameters such as revising my drafts, grammar usage and considering context and audience. According to Donald M. Murray in The Makers Eye: Revising Your Own Manuscripts “A piece of writing is never finished”.
In my mind, I never really liked trying to explain in full detail what something meant. Back in high school, my teachers always wanted me to explain my writing in such depth that a kindergartener would understand why Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy. Trying to explain my writing was always very tiring. I often would get bored trying to explain and just stop writing and do something else for a while. Most of the time in high school I didn’t like writing.
Throughout middle school and the past two years of high school, when a teacher would announce that we had to write a research paper or an essay, the first thoughts to come to my mind are usually, “Oh no, I’m going to fail. I’m an awful writer. What am I going to do?” These fretful thoughts, more often than not, lead to my procrastination. Needles to say, I’ve adopted some bad habits when it comes to my writing process as well as a fear of writing. While I enjoy writing, I wouldn’t consider myself to be a great, or even good, writer, especially not when it comes to assigned writing.
This is what I led to believe be my downfall in my writing skills because I was unable to use any other methods. So throughout my essay I will explain the steps of my writing process such as finding my personal space, understanding the difficulties, and changing my writing styles Whenever I attempt to write a paper for an in class assignment I would make sure to always isolate myself from others and especially my phone. Those are the two things that would distract me and make me lose focus. I can multitask, but it’s just that if really I want my writing to be good and well thought and written out I would need my own personal space. After finding my comfortable zone I would start to just brainstorm ideas and write a few down on my paper so that I could remember my ideas.
In all my years of going to school I have had trouble writing introductions and conclusions for my papers. All of my teachers would tell me that you would want your introduction to flow and clearly start what you are going to talk about. When ever I would write an introduction it would never flow. It is always fairly choppy and I could not figure out how to smoothen it out. Now that I am in college people have told me to not summarize my paper in my introduction.
I needed an outlet from the pointless assignments which inevitably turned into me writing my own short stories and blogs. Although I did not learn much about writing from this unproductive class, I learned a lot about myself. I found my passion. By the end of the year, I was ready to go into regular English, but in the back of my mind I knew I had to at least see what the next year was like. I felt as though I went through hell and back with the previous class, how much worse could the next be?
I feel when assigned an essay I freak out on how to make it seem smart enough and clean it up enough to at least a “B” essay because I know getting that “A” is a stretch. The most frustrating aspects of writing for me are writing the hook, the thesis statement, and being my own worst critic. Getting the reader 's attention is not as easy as I thought. In the past, I never put much into the hook. I really just thought there are other aspects that are more important, but in the back of my head I was never happy with just an okay opening.
Instead I should have been explaining why I thought writing did not need rules and why my past teachers might have thought that we needed these rules that they were telling us about. Also my quotes I used of Anzaldua did not really do my paper any justice, they were just kind of there. They did not make the connection I was hoping for, or the connection I was trying to make. I knew in my head what I wanted to say, but did not know how to explain it in words. But never fear my writing got better!
When I first entered this class, I already knew that it wasn’t going to be easy just because I 'm not good with putting things into words and explaining myself with proper grammar. I can honestly say English 101 has really inspired me to be a better writer. This class affected me in a lot of ways it showed me that writing takes time and you can 't expect a paper to be great without any revising or editing. That has always been a mistake of mine, I would tend to free write a lot it seemed to be the only way I could get my thoughts processed on a paper. I would forget periods, commas and misspell words without even noticing.