Reaction Paper 2

1283 Words6 Pages
Are we having sex now or what? Greta Christina eloquently puts into words something I know in theory, but can be hard to understand in practice in heterosexual relationships. In Are we having sex now or what? Christina details her record keeping of how many people she had sex with, and what she counted as sex. She talks about the limiting misconception of sex only being coitus, and other acts not “counting.” Christina writes of how when she started having sex with women her outdated system of what was sex and what was not sex was completely destroyed. By limiting sex to “penis in vagina,” Christina was discounting some of her favorite sexual experiances, and including ones she did not particularly enjoy. This article made me think about what I and the people around me count as sex. It can be hard in heterosexual relationships to get past the idea that coitus is the culmination and essence of sex. Even when hetrosexual partners understand that there are other things they enjoy just as much if not more, there often is an expectation that everything else is a disappointment if it does not lead up to coitus. I have read similar (but shorter) things, and heard these ideas multiple times via Dan Savage and his many forms of media. However, Christina makes the idea seem more real and available. She reminded me of an important part of my sexual philosophy: sex is mutual pleasure, not particular acts and measurements. Put me in coach: Sex lessons for adults This article by Diana Spechler surprised me. For all that the Human Sexuality is what I vainly looked for in Sex ED and sex books as a teen, a sex coach would be taking that idea of practical sexual education even farther. The idea of a sex coach is something my friends and I have joki... ... middle of paper ... ...o believe in active listening, and now all the arguments I have had with boyfriends, parents, and peers make more sense: people do not like being told how they are doing things wrong. That is a slight misrepresentation, Gottman talked about issues being solved through being polite and gentle. So there are ways to tell someone that they have done something wrong without hurting their feelings. I would like to see more examples of how this is done. Gottman’s research has greatly piqued my interest. I watched as he showed examples of stonewalling and other issues in relationships, and saw my own past failures and those of the people in my life and around me. I wish that everyone could see this video and understand it; I feel that working towards treating everyone the way Gottman says successful spouses treat each other would lead to a gentler and more pleasant society.

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