Parenting Styles Some of the greatest milestones in life are graduating from college and getting a first job. However, no matter how challenging those activities are, many people believe the hardest job in life is being a parent and bringing up children. While child rearing is difficult, many also believe it is the most wonderful thing in their life also. Child rearing also has us question ourselves: "Am I raising them correctly?" "Should it be this stressful?" "Should I raise my child like my parents raised me?" "Should I ignore parenting advice I receive?" Diana Baumrind, a clinical and development psychologist, researched parenting styles. Her research can help answer many of these questions as well as define authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting, and the pros and cons of each style. Authoritarian child rearing Diana Baumrind (1971) classified it as low in acceptance and involvement, high in coercive control, and low in autonomy granting (Berk 279). Authoritarian parents force their children to follow and obey the rules unconditionally if not will get punished. Parents will usually appear irritable and angry and will not express much warmth or nurturing (Cherry). There is little open communication between parent and the child. Their way to communicate with their children is usually by yelling and little or They are more likely to be anxious, unhappy and low self-esteem and self-reliance (Berk 279). Children rarely learn to think on their own and tend to be low in social and academic competence. May be very angry, resentful frustrated and can find it hard to deal with their anger; as well Develop a resentment of authority (Walton). Boys especially, show high rates of anger and defiance (Berk 279). Although girls also engage in acting-out behavior, they are more likely to be dependent, lacking interest in exploration, and overwhelmed by challenging tasks (Berk
However, in this type of parenting style, authoritative parents are more responsive to their child, more willing to listen to questions and more forgiving rather than punishing when their child fail to meet expectations. These parents are more supportive, rather than punitive, also, they focus on making their child confident and socially responsible.(Baumrind, 1966). In authoritarian parenting style, children are expected to follow the strict rules and regulation established by the parents. The parents are too demanding and directive but not really responsive towards their children. They are also status-orientated and children are expected to obey their rules without any explanations (Baumrind, 1991). Then, there is the permissive parenting style in which the parents rarely discipline their child because they have low expectations of maturity and self-regulation. Permissive parent is more responsive, non-traditional and lenient towards their child. They are nurturing and very open with their child (Baumrind, 1991). Lastly, neglectful parenting style is those parents who have both low demandingness and responsiveness towards their children. These parents are generally detached from their child’s life and in some cases; they may even reject or neglect their child’s needs (Maccoby & Martin,
While authoritarian parents have many structure and household rules, they don’t explain to their children the underlying reason for these rules.
Parenting isn’t easy. It’s a fact of life. Society offers many different types of approaches to childbearing. Some specific ways include an authoritative style, a neglectful style, a permissive style, the list goes on and on. However, as a parent, it’s often hard to tell hard to which method is the most effective and beneficial to a child. Nowadays and more than ever, people are finding that some parents may perhaps be getting too involved. The overprotective and controlling parenting style that many today are turning to, though it may seem harmless, has many negative impacts that affect a child’s life.
The four most prevalent parenting styles are permissive, authoritarian, authoritative, and neglecting style, and they reflect on Diana Bourmind’s proposal of the four crucial domains in parenting; nurturance, maturity demands (level of expectations) control, and communication.
A parent’s parenting styles are as diverse as the world we live in today. Nowadays, parents only want what is best for their children and their parenting styles plays a crucial role in the development of children which will in the long run, not only effect the child’s childhood years, but later prolong into their adult life as well.
Growing up, two group of people, parents, and grandparents, took the time and the energy to raise me. Both of them had different approaches when raising me. These approaches were different parenting styles. According to Baumrind, parenting style was the “[capturing] normal variations in parents’ attempts to control and socialize their children” (Darling, 1999). To put it simply, parenting style goal was to lecture, influence, and discipline a child. In general, there are four parenting styles with their own specific benefits and disadvantages. Furthermore, parenting style, granted the dynamic of the family was understood, can be identified in families.
Throughout nearly all studies, it has become clear that parenting seems to have two main aspects that build it: demandingness and responsiveness. With these two characteristics, there are 4 main “parenting styles” that can be distinguished, each having their own level of both features.
One of the most striking differences is that of expected social behaviors. Authoritarian parents expect and require strict adherence to proper manners, often to an extreme! Demonstrating manners in all circumstances is a sign of obedience and respect within this parent-child relationship. This act of obedience may also be expressed in a formal style of communication rather than a casual style both to parents and others. “Yes Sir”, “No Sir”, “Please”, and “Thank You” are words of common... ...
The first type of parenting style is called authoritarian. In this parenting style the parents are the boss. They make strict rules and they enforce them. They focus more on restrictions than a loving relationship with their child. They believe it is their job as parents to catch their children being bad and punish them. These parents use external control on their children instead of taking time to tell the kid what they did wrong and why they should not do it again. Something these parents do not realize is that they do not catch their kids being good. Authoritarian parents are firm and unsympathetic. Authoritarian parents love to use discipline.
Authoritarian parents, show very little acceptance, have very high expectations of their children and are extremely controlling. These parents are strict, and use a prohibitive and punishment method. According to a research done by Kimberly Kopko from Cornell University, it “reveals that adolescents of authoritarian parents learn that following parental rules and adherence to strict discipline is valued over independent behavior. As a result, adolescents may become rebellious or dependent” (2). The adolescents who come to be rebellious may showcase hostile behaviors, while those who are passive are likely to stay relying on their parents (2).
The authoritarian style of parenting is control focused and militaristic in approach. This parent has high expectations and demands strict obedience. They often rule by fear and punishment. Dr. Gwen Dewar states, “… Little nurturing, lots of psychological control” (Dewar). On Consistant-parenting-advice.com the author communicates this type of parenting can result in abusive discipline that can be emotional and physical; however this writer is also including verbal abuse to the list.
...ues come with a lot more disadvantages then advantages. Children of authoritarian parents are unhappy, and have low in self-esteem. They receive poor grades in school and they become bullies. These children become dependent and they have a very poor relationship with their parents because they are scared of them.
Authoritarian-parents who are punitive and focus on gaining a child's obedience to parental demands rather than responding to the demands of the child.Authoritarian parenting styles give little to no options to a child. What the parent says goes. It is a rigid approach to raising children that may have been most effective in times of great famine or toil. It was used most commonly in large, traditional families in which the father was the patriarch, and everyone else was called to follow his command. Times have changed greatly since. Doctors see a problem with this approach in modern times,it creates a distance between parent and child in which the child doubts the parent's love for him. It is based on punishment, which can easily create anger.
Understanding and applying above information can help me to adjust and apply new things to my current parenting strategy. Instead of focusing too much on thinking what I should do for my children, I spend time to understand and explore what my children really need in each stage of their life. Especially during adolescence or teenager period, I desire to not only be their mom, but also be their real friend, whom my children can share everything with, even the most secret in their life. Therefore, I learn and practice day-by-day listening to my children, respecting what they want to do, and accepting various aspects of my children. On the other hand, I try all my best to protect my children from dangerous situations, but still prevent overprotecting them from small things, and give them some spaces to explore and learn new things by themselves. Besides that, the hustle and bustle of life easily makes my husband and I fall into some stress issues unintentionally that also affects our parenting approaches. We need to learn to control our temper as much as possible because it is important to be as calm and reasonable when explaining rules or carry them out in front of my children. As parent works are never done, each parent can make mistakes and learning from mistakes also can bring some benefits to adjust our parenting. Although the focus is on the child, my husbands and I never forget about each other. We love, understand and take care each other and proudly show my children that we are happy, united and consistent when doing or saying something to them. We do all my best and enjoy experiencing the toughest yet most meaningful job in our life – the
Parenting styles have the capacity of influencing a child’s social, cognitive, and psychological growth, which would then affect the child both in their childhood years, and as an adult.