Tears are falling, skin is red, and pain and fear are the only things running through your mind. This is just one of the countless images of physical discipline that one may have in mind. Physical discipline often used by parents in the black community, is a form of discipline involving the use of pain with the intention of keeping their children safe from harm. While there are many who see the benefits of physical discipline, there are also many that question its effectiveness. Some argue that the line between physical abuse and discipline is far too often crossed. This controversial issue is the topic of Brittany Cooper’s article to the Salon, The Racial Parenting Divide: What Adrian Peterson Reveals about Black vs. White Child-rearing. Cooper …show more content…
When it comes to child rearing people use tactics that have either been passed down to them from an elder or use tactics that have been used on them by their parents. Reminiscing his childhood, Coates describes the first time his father beats him. Coates recounts not only the fear but also the confusion. Coates states, “Maybe that saved me. Maybe it didn’t” (Coates 16). As a child one cannot fully grasp the extent of a parents’ love. This is something that Coates makes clear as he did not understand his father’s actions until he himself became a father. Coates …show more content…
It is a tool used to keep children out of danger and ensures that they are well behaved. Physical discipline additionally has a strong historical role in disciplining and producing well behaved children of color in society of white supremacy. A majority of the methods of physical discipline used today have been inherited from older generations. While physical discipline may not be the flawless disciplinary method in disciplining children. It is however, the lesser evil when faced with the mantra—I can beat you or the
The idea of physical punishment has been visible throughout our nation’s history. The 30’s, 40’, 50’s all encouraged the use of strong physical discipline towards children, it wasn’t until the 60’s and 70’s that this idea became taboo. “Many of us in the room had been smacked, whipped, or beaten as children...
In the documentary Babies, babies from across the world were filmed interacting with their mothers and the new world. One of the babies was from Namibia. This baby was given little guidance and attention while parents seemed absent at times. At one point, the viewers see the infant smashing rocks together, by himself, which isn’t exactly the safest activity for a toddler (4). The children raised by this type of passive parenting with “few rules, expectations, and demands, tend to struggle with self-regulation and self-control” (5). Without someone teaching children morals and with no form of structure in a child's life, they will have trouble depicting right and wrong decisions. The under the involved parenting style may often seem neglectful, however, there is a fine line between the two. In the memoir The Glass Castle, Rex and Rose are the parents of four kids. Throughout the book, Jeanette is the victim of several sexual misconducts. When confronting her mom about her Uncle Stanley groping her, Rose says “"Poor Stanley," she said. "He's so lonely.”.... “sexual assault was a crime of perception. If you don't think you're hurt, then you aren't,"” (6). Normally a mother, even a passive parenting mother, would immediately stick up for their child and recognize the inappropriate behavior. The walls parents failed to provide their
The emotional support children receive from their parents in the early years of their lives can make an everlasting impact in how their fears develop and persist over the course of their lives. Take, for instance, a considerably difficult a child who received a nurturing amount of support from his parents in contrast with another little boy who was physically reprimanded for his antsy behavior. The first boy’s parent’s found tactful ways to allow their child to better handle his fears, consequently allowing him to forge a more functional life in the future. In opposition, the other child’s father, who hit him in efforts to stop his anxiety, ironically contributed to the child’s unwanted behavior, causing him to become more disruptive and disturbed in the
Their attitude towards discipline were very different from the white social workers that bought them together. They believe in physical punishment but no shouting, only talking nicely. If a parent shout he is out of control and it is abusive according to them. Good parenting is a complex combination of warmth, teaching, talking nicely and disciplining physically. But you can’t punish too harshly then you are doing it wrong. Interesting enough studies showed that in some cases children did respond positively to physical punishment. The difference seem to be that in black communities the punishment are culturally approved and given in a supportive environment in the aim to help the child to become responsible adults. Whereas in white communities they believe physical punishment is wrong so by the time resort to it they are highly agitated and the child might view it as
Over time as children grow and mature, they start to understand why they were spanked if was done without abusive actions. Parents admit by saying, “spanking my child hurts me way more than it hurts them.” (Patrick) Many adults who grew up in homes where spanking was the main source of punishment, agree that their mother’s spankings were more gentle while the father’s punishments were often associated with anger. As children grow, they should not fear their parents but have a respect for their parent’s role in their lives. An article about a woman who was raised in a Baptist home says, “The distinction seemed so obvious and significant when I was young, but as an adult I find it impossible to explain. Parent-child violence in one context was clearly abuse, while parent-child violence in another context was clearly discipline. One was unconscionable, the other justified, even morally mandated. One was hate, and the other, love” (Patrick). The moral of spanking isn’t for the parent to relieve anger but to discipline the child in his/her
Much like the adage, prevention is better than cure many African American parents hoped to prevent an incident in which their child would be disciplined by America. In this attempt the parents would make certain that their child is disciplined beforehand. The method used was physical discipline, a lower wrong than the discipline of America. While reminiscing of the first time his father disciplined him physically, Coates recalls that “Maybe that saved [him]. Maybe it didn’t” (16). As a child one cannot fully grasp the gravity and pain of a parent beating their child. It is only once Coates becomes a parent himself that he understood the complexities of being a parent of a child of color. Coates articulates, “Now I personally understood my father and the old mantra— ‘Either I can beat you or the police.’ I understood it all… Black people love their children with a kind of obsession. You are all we have and you come to us endangered” (82). Coates, now an adult understood both the love and fear in which his father had when beating him. Additionally, Coates, from his experiences in his childhood understood the growing up as an African American male in America is dangerous and unforgiving. Police brutality is the strong arm in which America uses to discipline young African American teen who fail to comply with their requests. Cooper makes note of this use of brutality by America when she discusses the death of Michael Brown at the hands of police officer Darren Wilson. Cooper
When describing a physical altercation between two adults, the term is assault and battery. Assault on an individual has more than immediate effects; the effects can last a lifetime in severe cases. In all fifty states, it is a crime to hit, strike or use corporal punishment in any deliberate manner towards any person over the age of eighteen. However, this law does not apply to physical force being used on minors. Spanking, whipping, and paddling are among a few common references to this form of punishment. Physically disciplining children has had many names over the years. No matter which term is used, corporal punishment has a negative impact on every party involved. It is a widely used, socially accepted method of discipline. “Approximately 94% of three and four-year old children have been spanked in the past year (Slade & Winssow 1321). Although spanking is a widespread practice, it is becoming more controversial. The negative effects of spanking greatly outweigh the benefits. Spanking is a socially tolerated view promoting abusive patterns, and has a negative psychological impact in teaching children that pain, fear, and confusion promote conformability.
As results show it is more common that African American mothers spank their children in comparison to white women (Huang & Lee, 2008). Younger mothers under the age of 25 would spank children as compared to mother over the age of 25. Parents who were spanked will more likely use this style of discipline than those who weren’t, and also parents that are from the South and those of Christian faith, seem to use this style of discipline (Berlin, Ispa, Fine, Malone, Brooks-Gunn, Brady-Smith, Bai, 2009). Also it was more common for boys to be spanked before a girl. There also was a correlation with mothers who were in good health and had a good relationship with the fathers were less likely to spank children.
In today’s era, there are so many things that can interfere with how a parent is able to discipline their child. Discipline is a very thin line that can be surpassed without even knowing the harm that was done. There are many different ways a child can be disciplined such as by talking to them, taking away their favorite things, not allowing them free time, time outs, and sometimes even spanking. As children, everyone has experienced some type of discipline depending on the way parents decided to raise their children. Depending on what culture children were raised in can take part on the way parents decided to discipline their children. Parents have different beliefs on how their child should be disciplined. As parents, many are faced with
This father not only provides for his son, but also goes above and beyond to cater to his wants as well. “When the rooms were warm, he’d call” (Hayden, 7) is an example of the many things this father does for his son. He wakes up early in the morning, starts a fire to warm the house, and then when the house is warm enough for comfort, he wakes the son. Despite all the father does for his son, “No one ever thanked him” (Hayden, 5). The love of a parent to a child is unconditional, however, in some situations there is no relationship between the two. In this case, the love this father has for his son endures an uneasy relationship. The son is very indifferent and unappreciative of the father and instead of the relationship suffering, the fathers love endures the emotional abuse and continues to care for him and accommodate to his happiness. As a father, he puts his son before himself and undergoes the
Because the beliefs, education and cultures of people vary so much, along with the age of the child, methods of child discipline vary widely. The topic of child discipline involves a wide range of fields such as parenting, behavioural analysis, developmental psychology, social work and various religious perspectives. Advances in the understanding of parenting have provided a background of theoretical understanding and practical understanding of the effectiveness of parenting methods.
Violence within families often reflects behaviours learned by children from their parents. A theory is that violent behaviour is passed down from generation to generation through families (Cole & Flanagin, Pg. 2). The majority of Americans are subjected to corporal punishment at one point or another during their lifetime(Kandel, Pg. 4). Surveys suggested that almost all American parents used physical punishment at one point or another and the punishment was regared as an appropriate child rearing technique. Another survey also suggested that some psychologists belive physical punishment to be an effective and useful socialization tool(Kandel, Pg. 2). Aggression is commonly conceived as existing on a continuum, ranging from very severe parental aggression to much milder and normal parental aggression, such as use of corporal or physical punishment(Kandel, Pg. 1). A common concern is that parental use of physical punishment will lead to aggressive behaviour in children.
While the answer may seem obvious, not many people know what discipline truly is. They end up confusing the concept of discipline with that of punishment. Discipline is simply the process of guiding your child on the right path. "Discipline should not be a punishment, but a lesson
All parents are deficient from time to time and no parent can be emotionally available all the time to their children. It is perfectly normal for parents to yell at their children once in a while. Some parents may be controlling while some resort to physical discipline, but as long as the child receives plenty of love and understands why the discipline took place (Forward,1989). The question that lies ahead is: Does all of these options portray the parent as “cruel or unfit” to raise a child? Of course not. The saying “Spare the rod, spoil the child” stands true. Without discipline or order in the household, the child feels that there is no boundaries and can react in any form that he or she wants to without fearing the consequences. But, there is a distinct line between “discipline” and “abuse” which will be explained in the next chapter.
Corporal punishment is the physical disciplinary method used by parents, teachers, and school administrators in an effort to correct a child’s undesirable behaviors. The use of physical force is one that is often times controversial and usually evokes very strong reactions. These feelings surface, and opposing views clash, when scandals surrounding corporal punishment hit the media and heated arguments in the comments section of articles emerge. While corporal punishment occasionally makes its way into the limelight, it is a decision all parents are faced with eventually and often times daily. For example, when a toddler is sprawled out on the grocery store floor kicking, hitting, and flinging