Personal Narrative – Singing Poorly

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Personal Narrative – Singing Poorly

It was a year like any other, or, at least I suppose it could have been, but, it wasn't. It was actually 1965. This particular year, the Beatles released Help! the movie; for the second time, Jack Nicklaus won the Masters golf title; on Palm Sunday, 51 reported tornadoes touched down in the states of Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Indiana and Iowa resulting in 256 deaths and over 1500 injured; and, a young boy in Smalltown, USA was turned away from his school choir. "Some people just aren't right for choir. Son, you couldn't hold a note with a bucket." And so began a life-long career in singing poorly.

Singing poorly. It's an art. It takes feeling, passion. The chanteur/chanteuse in question must believe in herself, in the song, in the very message she is projecting. Not just anyone can do it. In fact, believe it or not, there are those who can even sing poorly, poorly.

Now, there are many different angles from which I could attack this topic, but, I'm not sure I want to pick one just yet...so, bear with me.

As well as there being different levels and "classes" among talented, quality singers, there are different levels and "classes" among talented, poor singers. Stay with me now. When I say poor singers, I mean they sing poorly, not sing without any money. Although, I suppose that there could be those out there who are poor enough singers, that they could actually be, poor poor singers.

The first class of poor singers I would like to discuss is a little group I like to call the "Hello, my name is Britney Spears and these are my various other counterparts of the female and male persuasions” posse, or, simply "Biapse" for short. This group of artists is famed the world over. They own Top 40 radio and are infamous for paying as much as possible, for as little as possible (when it comes to their clothing, that is). They play "idol" for the young and the...not so young (both of which, disturb me equally) despite their obvious lack of singing talent, which they cleverly cover up by showing off their "range" using different techniques, like wailing, moaning, sighing, and combinations thereof. Despite their shortcomings, however, I must give credit where credit is due. These people are doing their jobs, and doing them well.

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