Personal Narrative: How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse Hi my name is Ezra Jordan and I am your Zombie Apocalypse Survival Team Leader. As your team leader it is my job to persuade you to believe that, zombies do exist and that you should be prepared and aware of what the future may have in store for you…in case of an emergency grab a weapon and follow me. As you probably already know zombies have been a pop culture staple for years…what I mean by that is, zombies have a huge influence over society…we really seem to have a strange fascination with them, and Hollywood knows all too well about our sick hang ups regarding zombies; which would explain the long list of creepy zombie flicks out there like…Resident Evil, Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, and Zombieland

Davis to even be interested in pursuing such things as zombies… well I wondered that too, so I looked further into it and discovered that Mr. Davis was checking out a rumor that he had heard regarding a Haitian dictator that supposedly had his own zombie army! This dictator’s name was Francios”Papa Doc” Duvalier and he was one of the worst men that ever lived, he was elected president of Haiti in 1957 with the promise to make Haiti a better place…lies, lies, and more lies, according to Time Magazine he ruled through fear, intolerance, and unrelenting violence for 28 years which; left a deep stain on the history of the Haitian people. The way he scared the people was through VooDoo. It is said that Duvalier had established his own military called the Tonton Macouts by raising them from the dead and retraining them I their zombie state to carry out his bloody bidding…they helped Duvalier become one of the most feared men in Haitian history. Now I don’t know about you, but that’s some pretty damning evidence that zombies do exist and with that in mind, I’ve prepared three handy dandy tips to increase your chances of surviving if zombies ever attack.

Ok now first of all you will need a survival kit and in your kit you’ll need things like…

• A camping

However if you don’t have one of those you can always you a baseball bat or a machete, now some people might feel that a gun would be more effective in this situation, but according to “Zombie Pedia” when it comes to zombies you have to be smart with your weapon choices…a gunshot can be heard within a 5 mile radius, just because zombies are dead doesn’t mean they’re deaf and they’re very attracted to loud noises like guns. Whatever weapon you decide to use, just remember that the only way to kill a zombie is with a swift smack on the noggin.

Now the last tip I have for you is… try to remember that zombies are not your friends and according to my aunt Tony “you should never invite them to your house for dinner, because they are hungry for you…ALWAYS…zombies love to eat brains, so if hang around with people who don’t have any then you will be a lot safer.” Now in conclusion I would like to thank you for allowing me to be your Zombie Apocalypse Team Leader…I hope that I was able to persuade you to believe that zombies do exist and that it is always best to be prepared and aware. Please share this information with your friends and family… it could save their