Personal Narrative: Holes

1250 Words3 Pages
bulb-icon

Recommended: Coping with loneliness

Holes
It wasn’t very long ago when I fell into a depression, no doubt, my worse one. It was one fueled by the anger towards myself. It was so much anger, in fact, that I’ll never be the same person I once was. It’s only until someone reaches the darkest point in life when that person realizes where they truly belong. I don’t know where I used to belong. Maybe it was somewhere in between the the nerdy and the lonely kids. I guess you could say I’ve never had much friends. I’ve always been the type to distance away from social interactions, but rarely have I ever felt lonely. In fact, I took pride in the fact that I was a lone wolf. I didn’t need anybody and nobody needed me. It was a life of solitude that I thrived for. One where …show more content…

I had to start going to my therapist again, Dr. Dan, as he was called. His last name wasn’t Dan, so I always found it unusual he used his first name instead. Anyway, every week I would go see Dr. Dan. I really enjoyed talking to him. He was a really nice and funny guy. I told him things that I didn’t tell anyone, and not because I had to. I really wanted to. We would occasionally play chess together, and it always made me feel smart to defeat him. I started to enjoy life more. My father became a stronger influence in my life, probably thanks to Dr. Dan. I remember my father and I made a bookshelf together, and it’s something I’ll never forget. So every week I went to talk to Dr. Dan, and every week I left feeling good about myself, or at least for a few …show more content…

I fell into the deepest and darkest depression I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know what triggered it, but I felt so undeserving that I pushed everyone that cared for me on the outside. I pushed away my parents, I pushed away Troy, I pushed away Dan, and I even pushed away Kavi. All I did was sulk on the fact that I didn’t deserve anyone or anything I had. I never considered suicide more than in that period of time. So I started completely pushing everyone out of my life. I stopped talking to everyone. I ignored my parents, I ignored Troy, I ignored Dan, and I even ignored Kavi. I never was more angry with myself and ready to die. I created holes in the wall to cope with the rampant hate towards myself. I was so convinced and set on this new philosophy fueled by depression, until I talked to Kavi for what I was thinking would be the last time. She helped me see the error in my thinking, and she fixed those holes in the wall. It was exactly like Troy, but with the roles reversed. Never did I feel more loved, cared for, and most importantly, deserving of the people I

Show More
Related

  • The Impact of Absent Fathers in Black Female Upbringing

    1988 Words  | 4 Pages

    I do not have any memories of my own father as a child. I met him when I was about fourteen years old. My mother and grandmother, with the help of my uncles and aunt, raised me. Although I had strong positive male role models in my life, there was always the void of my father that I dealt with on a daily basis. I can remember at a young age, before blowing out the candles on my birthday cake, I would wish that my father would show up to my party. I had elaborate daydreams of him coming back into my life and doing things with me like I saw on television. It never happened. While walking to the train station one evening my uncle casually said to me “there’s your father” as if I saw him on an everyday basis. I didn’t...

    Read More

  • How I Ended Up on a Psych Ward: A Personal Narrative

    1325 Words  | 3 Pages

    The fall of my seventeenth year I came to terms with the fact that I was depressed, horribly, nightmarishly, insufferably depressed. This was not a new revelation be any means, simply a somewhat new acceptance. I accepted the fact that I had very few friends that I felt close to, rarely went out and if I did I was alone, spent hours upon hours surfing through the “sad”, “messed up”, and “depressed” tags on Tumblr, slept in irregular intervals that ranged from eighteen hours a day to not at all, and ate very little, and what I did eat I usually wouldn’t allow to stay down. I’ll leave that to the imagination.

    Read More

  • Personal Essay: How Perseverance Changed My Life

    1050 Words  | 3 Pages

    This story has many ups and downs, like a roller coaster I was unstable. This man held my hand and made me smile, although I was in denial because my biological father had treated

    Read More

  • Personal Narrative

    1785 Words  | 4 Pages

    Billy Thompson and Sam Westfield were similar in many ways. Since a young age they both has excelled at sports and both loved more then anything, the sport of football. While growing up, the boys did not know each other and probably thought they would never have too. But all of that changed with the diagnosis.

    Read More

  • Meat Head Jocks Research Paper

    1283 Words  | 3 Pages

    But what I realized was, this entire time, I was being myself. I never conformed to what everyone liked, I always remained myself because that is the best way to live life. I’ve always wore the exquisite long tees with jean cut-offs I wanted to wear. I’ve always hung around the chill people who aren’t afraid to be different and don’t care what others think of them. I’ve just recently considered my uniqueness as a blessing instead of a curse. It’s a lot better being around a few like-minded people that actually like you than being acquaintances with hundreds of people that you are putting a front on for. At that moment I embraced that fact that I traveled down the lonely road less traveled. The road of being yourself and doing the things that you like and doing the things that make you happy. Life is a lot better when you aren’t trying to be something that you are

    Read More

  • College Admissions Essay: Inescapable Loneliness

    507 Words  | 2 Pages

    Loneliness is a terrifying feeling that never escapes our lives. When I was younger, my largest fear in life was that I would make no friends and would be lonely. As I grew older, the fear shifted to dying alone. Now that I take steps back to look at this I realized everything I have missed, everything I have misunderstood. I am finally strong enough to understand that loneliness is inescapable, it lives with you all through your life. Life is a lonely place, where even if you are lucky enough to have people around you, all you have to look forward to is losing them either through going separate ways or death.

    Read More

  • personal narrative

    775 Words  | 2 Pages

    Growing up as an only child I made out pretty well. You almost can’t help but be spoiled by your parents in some way. And I must admit that I enjoyed it; my own room, T.V., computer, stereo, all the material possessions that I had. But there was one event in my life that would change the way that I looked at these things and realized that you can’t take these things for granted and that’s not what life is about.

    Read More

  • Personal Narrative: Growing Up With Depression

    627 Words  | 2 Pages

    I fought a war with myself and I am so proud to say that I am still standing here today due to my perseverance. I recognize that depression was a significant part in my life that shaped who I am now. I know that because of it, I am more careful in the words choose, I pick up on emotions easily, I know how to console people, and the list goes on. Despite depression being a major part of my identity for 15 years, I am proud to say that I am journeying through my life finding who I am without it. I plan to do all the things I said I couldn’t: Graduate high school, get my college diploma, find a job, and find my

    Read More

  • Stream of Consciousness

    911 Words  | 2 Pages

    Let the stream begin. Some body, some things, life and me, communicated the idea to talk now, not to leave it, to stay, and face up to the past, the places, the people, the pain, the many reasons why I left my home and family, all those years ago, to become a drug addict, an alcoholic, a wanderer, move nomadically from house to house, year to year, to live inside a prison, real and imaginary. I met hell. I met the devil. I met them both inside my head. I found out the hard way that humans could easily imagine evil. The path forward comes from the push to write and to deal. Yes, I felt happy in between the miserable spaces. My family helped me to survive and still do now, even more so than before. Without them, I would not exist, for in the darkest moments I realised that they kept me breathing. I want the virtual picket fence, ideal partner, children and career. They may or may not eventuate. Now as I regroup, look upon me with sober, straight and clear eyes, I can have anything. I walk to a lake, to sense nature, to allow the anxiety to live on these pages, to take shape, and mould into a form that speaks atonement.

    Read More

  • Theme Of Depression In Frankenstein

    565 Words  | 2 Pages

    Most people throughout their life go through depression a couple times. It seems to be almost unavoidable unless you take antidepressants or have a very good religious life. As the author Mary Shelly stated, "Life is obstinate and clings closest where it is most hated. " I think that this means that when we are feeling the worst in our lives in when we become the strongest, we have to push though those terrible times to see the bright

    Read More

  • Personal Narrative

    481 Words  | 1 Pages

    As I walk into Hazen and begin my high school journey I think to myself what I want to accomplish when I leave. Hazen is like the older sister I never had, someone who you hate occasionally, but look up to and pushes you to achieve your personal goals. As I walk through those Highlander doors I was immediately surrounded by the brightest minds, talent, and innovative bunch of my generation. Each one unique and each one having something special to offer, and I soon realized that I want to leave high school like I was never leaving. By making the most out of my high school experience I want to gain maturity and the satisfaction of knowing I made a difference in my school and community. By becoming a member of the National

    Read More

  • How I Overcame Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)

    1383 Words  | 3 Pages

    It had come to the attention of my family that I had some sort of psychological problem and something had to be done. I was always labeled as a shy and quiet kid, and like my family I had thought nothing more of my behavior. However, now it had become something more obvious. I had told my parents the kinds of problems I was having. Basically I didn't want to talk to anyone or to be anywhere near anyone I didn't know. I didn't really want to leave my house for any reason for fear that I might have to talk to someone. I was so critical and scrutinizing in relation to myself that I couldn't even enter into a conversation. Everyone seems to have a part of themselves that lends itself to thoughts of pessimism and failure, but mine was something that was in the forefront of my mind at all times. Something telling me that everything I did was a failure, and that anything I ever did would not succeed. Through discussion with my family it was decided that I should move out of my parents house to a place where I could find treatment and get a job. I was to reside with my sister Lisa, her partner Brynn, and their Saint Bernard in Greensboro.

    Read More

  • Personal Narrative

    2125 Words  | 5 Pages

    On a humid afternoon, I remember sitting on that old renovated school bus, wearing denim shorts and an old tee, completely soaked in mucky water from head to toe. When my mom told me about the weeklong adventure camp that was completely free for military dependent kids, I suppose I was unprepared for the level of adventuring in store. With her dad stationed in Alaska, my best friend Yarish also came with me to Clemson, South Carolina where it was held in July 2012.

    Read More

  • Personal Narrative

    533 Words  | 2 Pages

    One day, on a normal school day, I did something incredibly reckless. I got away with it, but if I were to do it again, I don’t know if I would have gotten the same outcome. My and my friends were incredibly lucky we weren’t caught, but the reward was exceptional.

    Read More

  • When It Rains, It Pours

    1006 Words  | 3 Pages

    I was very excited to make a new step in my life, college. I came with high hopes and aspirations. My hometown is not near Arizona, It is Lake Tahoe, Nevada, so going home for the weekend was simply out of the question. I had a great time for the first month, enjoying freedom. However, I was sitting in my room one night writing a paper with my roommate, and one of my friends from home called me. She said that one of our good friends from high school had just committed suicide earlier that day. I didn’t know how to react to this; I was scared, and confused. Why did he do it? Why didn’t anyone know that he was unhappy? Was he unhappy? I felt regret, thinking I should have been there for him. Once the crying commenced, my mother called me telling me that my last grandma had gone into the hospital. She had collapsed in her apartment and was rushed to the emergency center. I had no idea what to do. I felt like God was just condemning me and attacking me for some reason. I went into this deep depression and I didn’t want anyone to talk to me, if they did, I would simply start crying. I was alone, and no one knew who I was. I was too far away from home to go to my friend’s ceremony.

    Read More

More about Personal Narrative: Holes

Open Document