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Personal Development Plan: Improving My Relationship

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Throughout my whole life I have witnessed how relationships should go, and my parents have always been my primary learning source of communication. It was modeled for me in a healthy way, but also in a negative way sometimes. I catch myself struggling with my reacting behaviors to negative events, and ways of speaking. This causes me a lot of grief and frustration when I am communicating with people or my loved ones. This would also include my five-year relationship with my boyfriend. My goals of my personal development plan are to become a better partner in my relationship, and communicate efficiently. Another goal would be to better choose how I react in situations. An important aspect of communication is becoming aware, choosing words wisely, and becoming less defensive when communicating with my partner.
In order to accomplish my personal development project with my partner, many skills are preformed and included in the plan. One of the many skills that were used is perception checking. Perception checking is a tool for helping you understand others accurately instead of assuming that your first interpretation is correct (Adler & Proctor, 2014). This was an extremely important skill that needed to be used, because it is essential when trying to understand different perceptions. We both have completely different perceptions, and occasionally we have acted on our first reaction to a situation. When I applied this skill it felt robotic and not natural, but I have really improved on my way of integrating this skill. On countless occasions I used this skill when trying to find a solution, and most times it was successful. I used perception checks frequently to effectively communicate with my partner, and I was able to influence h...

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...attitude or rough tone with my boyfriend. I am realizing it is not fair for him or to myself to continue ignore my actions. I have also realized how much easier it is to communicate with each other when our moods are not effected by external factors. As I evaluate my development throughout the semester I am pleased with the current results, and with overall achievement. I feel we have to change together, and that is my true goal. I will continue to work on reactions and perceptions because I am aware that can cause great amounts of stress. Using specific skills such as the perception check and “I” statements will continue to give me a chance to gain a full understanding of the situation, and will allow me to choose my reactions wisely.

References
Adler, R. B., & Proctor, R.F. (2014). Looking out, looking in (14th ed.). Boston, MA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.
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