preview

Overcoming Marital Conflict

Satisfactory Essays
Overcoming Marital Conflict

Marriages are made, not in heaven, but by wonderfully fallible human beings who hope for the best, but who often do precious little to make this most challenging and complicated relationship work. From the very first couple and their differing view point over the apple to modern times, men and women have always disagreed. Both sexes are born with inherently different personality traits. Although mankind knows they will never see eye to eye with the opposite; they still are attracted to them, perhaps for that very reason.
Unfortunately it also means there will be unavoidable conflict in the union of a woman and man. Woman's inherent sexuality and the widely dissimilar sexuality of her mate is one of the primary conflicts in marriage. They will also find diversity in their views on sex, communication, emotional expression, nearly every aspect in their lives.
Sex has made marriages and broken them. Great relationships do not always translate into wonderful sex! Many couples love each other deeply, but still don't have a fulfilling sexual relationship. Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) wrote in
The New Spirit, "The omnipresent process of sex, as it is woven into the whole texture of our man's or woman's body, is the pattern of all the process of life".
This leads me to believe our sexuality is the core to ourselves.
Unfortunately there are so many variants between men and women emotionally that unavoidable conflicts will surface in the bedroom. Adam and Eve are the only union who ever had the freedom of entering marriage and lovemaking with no preconceived ideas no hang-ups, and no inhibitions. Men and women each possess different outlooks toward the act of sex. Most women need an emotional connection prior to experiencing a truly satisfying sexual encounter. Whereas men tend to avoid deeply emotional bonding. Men can be happy with superficial love, not that all men stop there. Women also feel affection is the essential cement of her relationship with a man. She marries a man that cares about her, and she wants him to express his care often. Without it she usually feels alienated from him. With it she will become emotionally bonded to him.
Learning the sexual outlook of each other's partner will increase the ability to deal with the sexual conflicts that materialize.
Fear of failure and rejection and the belief that something is wrong infiltrates many sexual experiences. Case studies show that most couples who complain of sexual problems in their marriages are really experiencing a deeper problem. Letting go of assumptions, most of which come from books, movies, and fantasies, and sharing desires and fears with their mate, their individual
Get Access