Origins and Solutions to Jealousy

An individual’s response to jealousy may be either direct or indirect depending on the severity of the relational threat posed by a potential rival (Bevan & Tidgewell, 2009; Theiss & Solomon, 2006). Severe problems in relationships often call for direct communication to resolve the issue. Direct responses often include accosting the partner or rival in face-to-face communication. For instance, a jealous partner might approach the rival to altercat... ... middle of paper ... ...e relationship and creates feelings of uneasiness or anxiety, both of which may lead to decreased intimacy. Consequently, individuals may take measures to reduce uncertainty and improve their relationship with their partner.

Jealousy is such an emotion that every human faces once in their life. It often arises when someone wishes to have something someone else does or want to be like someone else because of which many peoples’ personality changes. Jealousy is a corrosive emotion that deteriorates not only one’s character, health, and relationship but it also causes extreme irrationality which can lead to death. This shows that envy/jealousy is more volatile than most people presume and therefore should be prevented whenever possible. Jealousy can make one feel apprehensive about their relationship, questioning their thoughts and decisions.

Of the human emotions, jealousy is one of the most powerful and painful. It is deadly and statistical studies rank jealousy as the third most common motive for murder (CITE 1). Recently evolutionary psychologists proposed that jealousy is a specific innate module, a circuit in the brain that reflects the different selective pressures that acted on ancestral men and women (CITE2 ) According to this theory, men typically become jealous when they suspect sexual competition, a response to the threat of cuckoldry. Jealousy in women, in contrast, is triggered by suspicion of emotional betrayal (CITE2). As romantic relationships develop over time, the relationship naturally deepens and becomes more serious.

Groothof, Dijkstra, and Barelds (2009) suggest that “as for offline acts of infidelity, men compared to women are more upset by a mates sexual infidelity over the Internet, whereas women, more than men, are more upset by a mate’s emotional infidelity over the Internet” (p.1126). Research also suggests that besides socio-cultural and evolutionary jealousy based on gender differentiation; further research should focus on individual’s cognitive social perspective pertaining to jealousy emotion. Harris (2002) suggest that “individuals clearly vary in their susceptibility to feelings of jealousy…the degree of jealousy will be determined by the appraisals people make regarding the seriousness of a threat” (p.11). With that said, further research on sexual jealousy triggers should be further investigated.

Infidelity commonly precedes jealousy and subsequent relationship issues, such as violence (Daly, Wilson & Weghorst., 1982; Felson, 1997). Jealousy arises when individuals feel that their intimate relationship is under threat (Daly et al., 1982). Different types of jealousy and related emotions arise in response to sexual and emotional infidelity (Levy, Kelly, & Jack, 2006). Emotional infidelity involves strong emotional connection with another individual whereas, sexual infidelity involves unfaithful sexual behaviour with another person (Buss, Larsen, Westen & Semmelroth., 1992). Sex differences in response to emotional and sexual infidelity frequently occur in research and explained to result from evolutionary pressures (Buss et al., 1992) or socialised and learned values (Widerman & Allgeier, 1993).

Studies on the presence of jealousy in romantic relationships have been increasingly polarized, with some researchers viewing jealousy as a destructive force in the maintenance of relationships while others view it as a positive measure of commitment (Ammon, 2004). Connected with rejection, jealousy is defined as a combination of feelings, thoughts and actions that arise following a real or perceived threat to one’s relationship (Ammon, 2004). “Sexual” jealousy evocation stimulates angry impulses and approach behaviours that function to maintain one’s relationship by disrupting affiliations between one’s partner and a perceived or real foe (Harmin-Jones, Peterson, & Harris, 2009). Harmon-Jones et al. (2009) designed a controlled and ethically sound method to arouse jealousy in the lab and observe the pattern of neural activity that is elicited when an individual actively experiences jealousy.

Ayala Malach Pines basically explains that jealousy is a feeling of wanting control over something or someone and it starts from fear of losing that something or someone. Also, Ayala mentions jealousy is complex since it involves emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Above all these factors, when people feel jealous, they tend to feel grief, anger, envy, humiliation, fear, sadness, pain, or rage, and behavior such as “feeling faint, trembling and sweating, constant questioning and seeking reassurance, aggressive actions, even violence” (“Relationships & Couples” - 1). can been seen. Often times, the word ‘envy’ is defined as jealousy.

A little can enhance the taste and too much can spoil the fun. Jealousy in a relationship is the reward of love in the early days of the relationship , but later on dealing with jealousy starts to become a big problem for both partners. People get irritated even , in some cases, and they even come to the decision to terminate the relationship . Be positive Jealousy often comes as a package deal with some of the painful experiences of the past that person , making him / her is hard to trust anyone . If you have gone through a horrible experience in the past concerning fraud or dishonest ex-partner , then jealousy is very clear for you .

In Alfie Kohn’s essay, “Competition Is Destructive”, he describes competition as having a “toxic effect on our relationships”(11). Although competition has many positive effects in this world, when talking specifically about relationships, whether it be between best friends, two strangers, or even entire nations, it fuels negative feelings and attitudes that transform people into monsters. Close relationships often have their ups and downs. When one spends enough time with a person it is inevitable that they will have an argument. Best friends, for example, share everything with each other.

This angered Carroll and she began to dislike her husband and feel he was mistreating her, which triggered revenge. Through this chain of events the couples miss the real experience of passion. This is all contributed to the innate wiring that is a natural feeling in a human when it is born into the world. This is a basic instinct that alerts a person to protect oneself when it senses something it fears. When couples use their intellect, and deduction along with psychoanalysis to determine love, it could be a bit disappointing.