Of How Much Value

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Of How Much Value Sara stares at the clock and counts each second that goes by. Every minute means on more minute of grief. She is not sure why she feels so down. She cannot understand why her own image of herself is so unattractive. Sara suffers from depression. Depression is a disease that causes a chemical imbalance in the brain resulting in a melancholy mood. This disease is a very young disease. It has only recently become known as a disease. These are all the things that had to be explained to Sara during her visit to the doctor, or in other words, a psychiatrist. She had been lacking a positive self-concept for years and has now decided that it is time to take care of it. Sara feels much anxiety and the fact that she is going to a psychiatrist at the age of seventeen makes her feel even more stressed out. She is very nervous long before it is time for her to attend the doctor's office. Sara's visit is successful. She leaves the office with a new vision of her life. Sara keeps a journal of each day's events. She tells about what happened and then how she responded to it. She also writes little poems that describe her moods. She only shares six of her journal entries out of thousands. Each one is personal to her, but she is willing to share six because they could help others understand themselves better. Today was just another dull day. David, the guy who I really like, Would not even look at me. I really do not understand why I am on this earth at all. My existence means nothing to anyone. None of my friends value our friendship nearly as much as I do. What is my purpose? Where do I belong? Sara is on the downside of her disease. She is in the depths of it. She looks upon the world as though she is not apart of it. She watches events and people evolve around her but never becomes the nucleus. Sara does not know herself. In her mind, she is an unidentifiable person. Sara once said, "I have no trust left in me." Some would take that comment for what it is worth, but Sara means for it to go much deeper then just the words.

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