Narrowly Escaping Calamity: Public Education

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Since the establishment of public educational institutions, there have been those, the heroes of our society, who have learned to avoid it or escape it entirely. Throughout the years, passing generations of these idolized fugitives have polished various methods of evasion almost to perfection, beginning of course, with those who idolized the heroes of Americas war and post-war era. Hogan’s Heroes and war films such as the Great Escape that glorified mischief in prison like conditions spawned the true creativity and the art of such activities. True wit and self confidence as exemplified in these courageous few could never be taught.

In like manner, I have compiled a few fool proof tactics of my own. First among these, if one is to avoid mandatory attendance, even temporarily, seek out one’s personal best hide-and-seek hiding location, which is incredibly convenient granted that this location is typically found within one’s own home. More specifically, from personal experience, I am inclined to suggest the fire place, if unoccupied, as it can house one to two people comfortably and furthermore, it is generally safe from searching eyes especially if there is also a fire present. Similarly, ovens, microwaves, and refrigerators are equally viable options in the event that the fire place is already occupied or unaccessible.

Conversely, if a more permanent place of hiding is desired or otherwise necessary, such a route of escape is readily available. For example, one could suddenly move to Ghana as a refugee and do so without regret if only for one reason: at the same time that one is able to read this essay, that individual is thereby more educated that the whole of Ghana and therefore necessitates no further schooling.

A third option is to hide in yet another obscure, though undesirable and distasteful location: prison. Simply commit a crime, felony, or misdemeanor, worthy of an extended period of incarceration and “presto!” the state’s department of corrections practically finds your hiding place for you. This third option is particularly effective assuming that the initial act of crime does not interfere with one’s personal morals.

Of course, with none of the above mentioned processes being at all effective or directly applicable, a more reasonable solution is warranted, an option more likely to mitigate one’s present situation rather than increase it. Certainly, this analysis has purpose outside of the weak attempts at humor found above; surely, a more practical angle of approach is close at hand and through the eyes of those who daily witness what circumstances public high school has presented, what follows has been discovered that this is the only realistic assertion.

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