Myths About Preparing for Marriage
The high divorce rate in the United Sates and the resulting concern with marrying the right person makes selecting someone to marry an especially important contemporary issue. You may struggle with finding the right person to marry, feeling competent as a future spouse, or feeling confident that a relationship will work. This is partly due to the magnitude of the decision, the increasingly high expectations we have of marriage (for example, "My spouse should simultaneously be my lover, my best friend, and my counselor"), and the fact that if you do not choose carefully, the marriage could end in divorce.
MYTHS: WHAT ARE THEY?
A significant cause of your struggle with the decision may be your belief in myths about selecting a mate and preparing for marriage. Myths are widely held beliefs that are not true. That is, there is no scientific evidence to support them, yet many people believe them.
To assess your belief in the myths about preparing for marriage, rate how much you agree or disagree with each of the statements in Exhibit 1.1.
For each of the myths you agreed with, think of your reasoning in support of the myth. For example, who taught you this myth? What evidence do you have that this myth is true? False? Your belief-in-myths score is high if you agreed or strongly agreed with five or more of the myths. If you agreed or strongly agreed with three or four myths, your score is moderate. Agreeing with two or fewer is a low myth score. The more myths you marked "Uncertain" to "Strongly Disagree," the better your understanding of the true nature of selecting someone to marry and preparing for marriage.
Myths such as these are dangerous because t...
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...lthy family background.
Items 4-6 measure personality. The higher your score, the healthier your personality. A low score is 10 or less which may indicate a personality problem.
Items 7-9 measure couple communication skills. The higher your score, the better your skills. A low score is 9 or less which may indicate poor communication skills.
This quiz introduces the three factors that predict your future marital satisfaction, and is an example of questions from the more comprehensive "Relate" quiz, which is included in Jeffry Larson's book, "Should We Stay Together?"
These questions and scoring guidelines are generalizations because to assess each factor in the marriage triangle comprehensively requires answering more questions from each area in the triangle. This miniature test is presented as an introduction to the three factors of the triangle.