My daughter Changed my Life: Birth and Adoption

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There was a time when I thought life was simple. I thought when I grew up things and people would be placed so perfectly that I would never have to worry about falling in love, having a family with the right person, or trying to find the best career choice. I know now, my childhood beliefs, were merely as innocent and untouched by the world's corruption as I was. I look back at my childhood and reminisce on memories good and bad and thankful for the wisdom I gained. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for many of life’s lessons.
As a teenager I developed trust issues and serve anxiety. I start nervously fidgeting and sweating. I didn't do well in public situations because people made me feel uneasy and unapproachable. It got so bad that I developed the fear of driving, constantly over analyze everything, and make up irrational scenarios. I still am dealing with some of those issues but owe a lot to those being understanding and wanting to help with my own motivation. I saw how harmony was just something people dreamed about. You learn really fast in stressful situations who is really there for you. Losing friends and yet gaining some of the best friends I still have today.
I had a major shocking life moment right when I thought I had started getting everything on the right course. After finding out that I was pregnant and not having any support from the father, it changed me. I was so angry at myself for the mistakes I had made and angry at all men for a while because all the guy had to do was just support my decision and he couldn’t even muster up the guts to say it could even remotely be his child. I thought to myself if he would do this how many others would. I was angry with the guy for a long time but then re...

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...y may change your inner self and may not. We just have to figure out how to deal with them and keep on living life to the fullest. I feel so prepared for the bumps in the road even though I may not know what they are yet. It is amazing how one little thing can affect your whole life. Payton completely changed my life and my outlook in life. I don't get mad or upset with people as easy as before it isn't worth if they really are a good friend. I have never been more motivated to do the things I want and need to do now. I have learned to not dwell on the past or mistakes because they will only bring you further down and we all make mistakes. I have learned to cherish the people that care about me. If this is just a one piece of knowledge I will learn in my lifetime I am actually kind of excited for the other ones even though they might not always be the way you want.
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