My Experience In Writing: My Process Of Writing

I am sitting in my bed, thinking about my process of writing as I am trying to go through it. It seems the more I think about it, the less I understand it. When I am writing, I don’t think. Which I know, sounds bad. But, I spend every single moment of every single day over thinking, over analyzing, and over assuming every aspect of my life. When I’m writing, I’m free from that for just a little bit. Until of course, my hands stop typing or the pencil (no pens- never pens) stops moving, then I’m right back on the carousel that is my brain. Heidi Estrem says, “...writers use writing to generate knowledge that they didn’t have before.” (Writing is a Knowledge-Making Activity 18). I believe my ability to write without an exact destination

I would like to say that I sit down at my desk overlooking the neighborhood, three weeks before the due date, with a freshly brewed cup of green tea, after just having woken up not to an alarm, but to my body’s own internal clock. I would like to say all of this was true. Unfortunately, my life is not that glamours. Even as I write this it is the night before the due date and we’re just about to hit 8:30 pm. I hold a strict 9 pm bed time. The truth is, the stress of the night before excites me. Whenever I receive an assignment, I have every intention to get a head start. In my near fifteen years of education, this has never once actually happened. Creatures of habit, we are. So this is where it all begins. The night, sometimes the day, before a due date with knots in my stomach and without a thought in my

Once the writing is done, this is where the fear comes alive. It’s the fear of failure, disappointment, disapproval, and maybe even success. Collin Brooke and Allison Carr say, “The ability to write well comes neither naturally nor easily.” (Failure Can Be an Important Part of Writing Development 63) This statement is something I wish I could let myself believe. I have a preconceived notion that writers are born, not made. That my brother, a fellow writer, will see more success than myself. Why would anyone ever care what I have to say about anything? These are the fears and insecurities that limit me from growing with my process. Brooke and Carr also say about writers, “...they are the ones who are able to make mistakes, learn from them, and keep writing until they get it right.” (63) If I could challenge my process, I would challenge myself to do exactly what this quote says. My first draft always has to be the perfect draft, but this is unrealistic. I limit myself before I even start with this ideology. My hope for my process is to challenge myself to take more risks, write more drafts, and fail so I can at least say I tried. I may even challenge myself to get a head start on some of those due dates...