My Spirit Is Christian, My Logic is Not

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My Spirit Is Christian, My Logic is Not

If I assume God exists, I must also assume the existence of extraterrestrials, unicorns, dragons, and so on.

It is a cold, lightless and bitter feeling to think that death is the very end. Be that as it may, this is the feeling that I struggle with almost everyday of my life. I wish I could honestly with all my heart say that God does exist, but I cannot. I long for answers to my nightly prayers, but there never are any. I yearn for a peace within my spiritual being that I can never find. For numerous months I have been going to the "Christian Bible" for answers. The truth is, the more I peruse the Bible, the more I accept it. However, I still question the many contradictions between the Old and the New Testaments and at times find its writing deceptive and improbable. Do I have no faith, or have I just not been conditioned? I was not brought up in a religious family. I never attended church, never prayed, and never talked about the mere existence of God. My claim is that if one man was able to Nazify a whole country, just imagine how parents can manipulate their child's actions, understanding, and, most easily, their beliefs. I reach out to God because there is something within me that cries out for satisfaction, for hope, something only God can fulfill. However, it is the incomprehensible stories in the Bible and the practices of religion that keep me away from spiritual completion.

What inspired me to even open the Bible were the words of a close friend who two years ago told me, " The Bible might be a letter your father has written to you. Don't you think you ought to at least read it?" However, after having looked through the Bible, I have found a curious piece of prejudice in my heart against God's words that needs an explanation. I have a hard time believing a superior and loving power exists above us when there is so much atrociousness in this world. Bad things happen to good people: an accident they couldn't prevent, an illness they couldn't avoid, a misfortune they didn't foresee. I do not believe that is God; I believe that's life. Some are poor, some are rich, some are white, some are black, and some live great lives, and others come to the point of suicide.

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