Too many thoughts, too many emotions, too much time on my hands. After the very busiest time of my life; nine months of a new job and full time college, I find myself at a point of self-discovery. This is not a sought after self-discovery, however, I am confident it is a needed journey. I have no doubt that earning my BS & psychology has influenced my thoughts. It was a major decision to begin college at 49 the very fall that was host to my 30th high school reunion. After years of convincing myself that I was a lifelong poor student I decided to take a chance and go to school. I have lived my life with an abundant amount of confidence however my ability to perform well in school was one thing that I was confident that I could not do. I have …show more content…
It is not that I do not give of myself because I do, to a fault sometimes. I give so much of myself to my family and friends with a ferocious loyalty, and kindness, ensuring that they are always aware that I care and they are important to me. However, the fact is, I have shared the inner me very sparsely... out of fear... out of habit... The very coping mechanism that helps you to deal with your feelings, pain, & disappointment, as a child, is the default coping mechanism that we depend on as adults. Do not get me wrong we mature and we learn to deal with many of life 's harsher moments in a mature fashion, however when we find ourselves overwhelmed by feelings that you are unable process, we revert to the tried and true. As I drove around today listening to Nora Jones and thinking, perhaps too much, I realized that throughout my life I have rarely had a safe place, a place that I could simply just be myself with no fear of ridicule or pain. In school I was the victim of bullies 90% of the time on the way home from school this was also the case... Home was not the haven I rushed to it was stressful and despite my parent’s best efforts I spent my time feeling, less than... There was this block long space on my walk home from school that was my safety zone. This was the place that I was far enough from the bullies at school, I was within my neighborhood... in this place "my friends" (the kids from the …show more content…
I remain god smacked, regardless of my age, the fact remains that my soul is still that little fragile soul of a 5 year old innocent little girl unsure why anyone would hurt her, when all she does is try to make others happy. Spinning, laughing, dancing to my favorite song...A little girl with nothing wrong...I 'm all alone... Eyes wide open... Always hoping for the sun... And I 'll sing her song to anyone...that comes along Fragile as a leaf in autumn...Just fallin ' to the ground...Without a sound Crooked little smile on my face...Tells a tale of grace...That 's all my own Spinning, laughing, dancing to my favorite song... I 's still little girl with nothing wrong...And I 'm all
Music’s influence is felt everywhere and it brings about a stir of emotions in many people. Whether it is something as simple as relationship trouble or something deeper and more profound, such as one’s cultural history, music serves as a stimulant to the mind and in other ways, a stimulant to the body. Such music as country, rock, reggae and Zydeco all succeed in stimulating the body and convincing it that dancing will only increase the satisfactory feeling that the music tends to give off.
Growing up, my parents never expected perfection but expected that I try to accomplish my best. The effort I’ve put forth in learning has been reflected in my grades throughout my high school career. I’ve entered myself in vigorous course work such as AP Government and AP English to become well prepared for my college career, all while maintaining a 4.4 grade point average this year. Not only do I engage in AP classes, but up until this year I had no study halls. I wanted my day to be packed full of interesting classes that I would enjoy learning about. My grades and choice of classes prove the effort that I put forth in my learning. Working hard now can only pay off in the future. Learning now creates a well-rounded human being. Working to learn is why I am so dedicated to my studies now.
This movement brings a sense of overwhelming joy and pleasure from beginning to end as it maintains a familiar mood and cadence throughout even convincing me that it is about to end before it actually does.
My transition to college was successful, but it was nonetheless one of the most stressful times in my life. Unlike many of my peers at Saint Louis University, my rural high school experience did not truly prepare me for the academic rigors of college. Despite extensive preparation, I performed rather poorly on the first round of exams. While I didn’t fail any particular exam, my performance was seriously lacking. I knew that getting C’s on exams would not serve me well in the pursuit of my dream of becoming a physician. I remember feeling, for the first time in my life, that I was unintelligent and incompetent. I was also heavily fatigued from the excessive hours of studying, which I felt were necessary to reconcile the problem. I managed to
Until this past spring I hadn't thought much about what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go for college. One day in the spring the junior class had a meeting in the auditorium about taking our ACT test and college plans. After that meeting I realized I needed a change, getting into college wasn't going to be a breeze, kind of how I had treated high school. Although I always considered myself to be fairly smart, I never had put much effort into school, but after seeing the facts and requirements to get into schools, and especially after hearing Ms. Rice saying "In today's world, the way to a successful future, is choosing college as your future", I knew I had to make an adjustment for the better so that college could be my future.
Throughout high school and during my undergraduate studies, education was never a top priority for me. Only during the past two years, in the "real world", have I realized the importance of education. I look back at those years and wish I had done more and realized all the potential I had in my hands and not wasted so much time. During my undergraduate career my social activities consumed my life. My friends were not motivated to do well in school so I followed their lead. My grades were low, and I did not even care. After I graduated in 1997 with a Psychology B.A. and lost touch with my old friends and old ways, I have realized that I should have spent more time doing some soul searching and thinking what it was that I wanted to do with my life. I liked Psychology but what I really wanted to do was work with children more closely. I had spent my junior and senior years involved in internships at Head Start and at a High School in a Program for teenaged mothers. I loved my work there. At Head Start I was a Teacher Aid for the pre-school, teaching the children to read, numbers etc. And at the High School I counseled the teenaged mothers, took care of their kids while they went to school and after the school day I tutored them with their homework. After being out of school for a while, I started to miss that. The feeling that I was teaching something those kids, the feeling that I was making a difference. I was determined to find a job in education, with my background in Psychology, how hard could it be? I found work at a residential school for runaways and abused teenaged females. It was great! I was ready to go, I was going to change the world and change those girls lives. What I didn't realize is that will alone does not make me a teacher and that I needed training, a lot of training. I made a lot of mistakes in that job. I got discouraged and decided to forget about working with children, forget teaching and do something else that paid more. So, I got a job as a Secretary, I did that for about two years. Teaching, working with children was always on my mind.
Academics has always been an important part of my life. Ever since I was a young child my parents have pushed me to lead good life academically. All throughout grade school I have had decent grades (generally speaking in the nineties or above), and I owe this, at least partly, to my parent's determination to give me the best possible education. I also owe this to my will to be at the top of my academic game. This was naturally quite easy for me up until my senior year of high school. When my senior year came around, there was a lot of pressure on me to make a lot of life changing decisions. When all of this was put on me, the last thing that i wanted to do was change the way i was living. I loved the way my life was, and going away from home to college wasn't something that i felt i was ready to do. Because of this i decided to enroll in Genesee Community College, which is about five minutes away from my house.
My college career started with me just going to school to take PE classes while neglecting my main required core classes and always pushing them aside without any urgency to succeed in finishing school. A couple of years would go by with little to no progress and lack of motivation to succeed in finishing my college required classes. Soon landing a career oriented job and finding myself dropping out of college to focus on my work career. From this point and time I would learn the importance of school and the value of finish college through my years of experience at work. This awareness of value in finishing college would motivate me to want to go back to school. Soon I would find myself at American River College counseling center. Here I was coming back to school unsure of myself and in an environment where I previously never found success in school. After meeting with my counselor I was recommended to take a college success course. This course is part of a program called the Accelerated College Education (ACE). Because I was able to learn along the years being out of school the importance of gaining an education I gained a new motivation for school, signed up for this ACE program, and enroll in the college success
I was fifteen when it all began; the laughing, taunting, teasing, the confusion. It wasn’t always like this. I used to be happy.
I can remember sitting in class, feeling eyes burning through me, dodging inquisitive glances from all sides, and anxiously awaiting the bell to ring for lunchtime. As most people know, lunch is the most dreaded part of the first day at a new school. First day of school memories are still fairly vivid for me; my father was in the JAG corps in the Army and my family moved with biannual regularity. In fact, I even attended three different high schools. While this may seem highly undesirable to some, I learned an incredible amount about myself, the world, and other people through moving that I may never have learned otherwise. What I have learned about myself and the world will without a doubt contribute to my success in life and even law school, but what I have learned about other people is of greatest relevance to studying and practicing law.
dancing until we drop in our tracks, won’t we kids. What a joy it is
My life has not always been as bright and promising as it is today; I had no idea where my life was going, or how I would possibly be able to attend college at all. Since I was a child, my self-esteem has always been low, and any time college was brought up, it simply made my confidence drop even further. I never believed I could handle college, and never thought I would even be given the opportunity to attend.
Throughout my experience in the link I have learned to appreciate any help I received. When I entered College for the first time, I wanted to know how it feels to have to think critically, and to be an independent student. I wanted to know what the true meaning of “working hard” actually meant. In high school I passed without attending my classes, but I knew it won’t be the same in college. I was ready to challenge myself to be on top of my game and get straight A’s. Now that the semester has ended I have realized the challenge to get straight A’s was a lot harder than I thought. I wasn’t used to not receiving a great deal of help when I needed it, I thought being independent and thinking for my-self would be trouble-free. However, college has taught me to grow up, and to stop comparing college to high school.
Throughout my life, I’ve always had big dreams and goals set for my life just like everyone else. I would constantly daydream and picture myself fulfilling my dreams. But, when the time came to actually plan out how I was going to reach my goal, I couldn’t figure out which path would lead me to my desired future. Every option I would contemplate on doing and try would somehow fail and crumble before my very eyes. After several attempts, I began to question if I was even good enough or qualified enough to go to college. To me, it seemed like the people who had a chance to make it in life were the ones with resourceful parents or the students who were in I.B or in numerous A.P courses. The possibilities of a little Hispanic girl like myself,
My journey as a student has always been focused on the path to college and success. Before I even set foot in kindergarten my mother, a college dropout, always told me that “honor roll wasn’t an option” and that I would be attending college in the future and achieving a degree. Most of the time I made these requirements. Most of the time I was awarded honor roll or had a newly edited list of colleges to attend, but sometimes life got in the way of my dreams of achieving success.