My Gender Role Model

Gender has affected my life in many ways, but most of all I would say that from a young age I was given the impression that part of a woman’s value came from her ability to attract the opposite sex, and due to this mindset for a long time I felt as though I was ugly and difficult to love. There are so many expectations placed upon women based solely on the fact that they are female. Women are meant to be gentle, quiet, and respectful at all times but most of all they are expected to be pretty. Being physically appealing means different things depending on where you live, however, In western society it appears to mean being a tall, skinny, preferably blonde, Caucasian female and if you happen to match this criteria you’ve essentially hit the

I was criticized for minor things like getting my clothes dirty or refusing to stay still to get my hair done. These comments grew more and more frustrating as I got older and eventually became far more critical with references to how I played, the clothes I chose to wear, and even being told I was too loud and that my interests weren’t normal. When me and my grandmother went to visit other family member’s I would always be asked questions that seemed entirely inappropriate to me as a small child like whether or not I had a crush or a boyfriend but I noticed no one ever asked my male cousins these questions as though their value wasn’t based solely on their ability to attract the opposite sex. My disinterest in things like hair and make-up led to me falling behind my peers when it came to matters of appearance. While other girls were discussing their extensive morning routines I was showering and shoving my unruly hair up into a ponytail. This also meant that I was falling behind when it came to personal relationships as my female friends were discovering boys, boys were treating me like an anomaly. I was consistently asked if I was a lesbian

My extended family made jokes about me dating from a very young age even though it made me uncomfortable, and the characters I was meant to relate to in media were consistently focused on their looks and romantic relationships. As I grew older and entered puberty I felt awkward and being made fun of by my peers about the way I looked and who I felt comfortable associating with led to me having low self-esteem. By the time I entered high school I was under the impression that part of a woman’s value came from her appearance and ability to attract a mate which led to me developing unhealthy habits in order to control my weight and developing friendships and relationships that were not mutually beneficial. A person’s value and success is not based on their appearance but rather who they are as a person and how hard they work although this is not a view I grew up with it is one I have come to develop through personal experience that has led to me becoming a healthier and happier