My Dad Raped Me

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I'd like you to get a picture of our nice little family before I tell my story. There's dad, who is medium height, medium build, good looking, quiet, easygoing, the bread winner of the family. There's mom who stays home to take care of the three kids. There's me, the oldest, my sister who is one year and three months younger than me, and my brother. We live in a small community, mostly middle class, but with some working class families thrown in (we were one of them). Nice house, yard, a car, a truck, a few snow machines, a couple boats. Can you see us? Do you have a picture in your mind? Now watch as the picture changes. The outside looks the same. The players are all the same. But there are things going on behind the walls of that ordinary looking house, with these ordinary people. Dad, who before this paid little or no attention to the kids, starts noticing his oldest daughter, me. Actually, not his real daughter as my sister and I were adopted by mom and dad when we were three and five years old. Now I'm 11. The first sign of this new dynamic had him nuzzling my neck and whispering in my ear. Words of love. Words of admiration. Then the next time, after coming up behind me while I was doing something in the kitchen, he just wrapped his arms around me, hugging me, whispering in my ear. How I was his girl. How he loved me. Again and again until routine. Then one day his hands slid under my top as he stood behind me. That's all. Just rested there against my bare skin. This became the routine after that. Over and over. Once that was a usual occurrence, the hands attempted to rise to my breasts. I resisted, not knowing why really, just instinctively knowing he shouldn't be doing that. Over and over, the same thing. Until,... ... middle of paper ... was watching, he did what he wanted to a child. He was able to keep up his front of being Mr. Nice Guy while sexually molesting and torturing me. And his secret was safe because he knew I was so desperate to be loved I'd let him do anything. And by the time it ended, so out of touch with what was going on, there was no threat of exposure at all. I really hope people who read this think about what I am saying, and not be so quick to defend a respectable looking guy the next time a child says she's been abused. We need to listen to and believe our children when they expose what is happening, because it is no easy thing for them to talk about in the first place and if we turn a blind eye to what is really going on, we will have another generation of really hurt children growing up into adults. We must break the chain of abuse now. Stop it before it goes any further.

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