My Best Friend

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I was never one to have many friends. It’s been that way my whole life. Throughout all of elementary it was just my best friend Angela and I against the world. We were inseparable. She was that kind of friend that would go to war for you. This paper is not about her, though. It’s about her cousin, Joshua. He was a dorky little blonde boy, in rainbow pants with a base guitar. He was my middle school heart throb. We had been friends before, given my relationship to Angela, but never quite like in middle school. It was indeed a middle school relationship, so you could hardly call it passionate, but it was puppy love none the less. This was until he disappeared for two months without a word. Naturally, we met through my best friend Angela when…show more content…
That’s when summer vacation hit, and he went to New York to visit his extended family. He was there for most of the summer. The entire time he was there, I never heard a word from him. I never received a phone call or a text message. Here is where we should’ve “differentiated”, but I, to this day, can’t say we ever became that different. We skipped right to “circumscribing” which (McCornack 302,) would be spending less time together. (McCornack 302) We were never together, or talking at all. Over the course of two months we hurled through “stagnation” (McCornack 302,) as nothing could change between us. I tried to get an effort from him and he showed no interest. I remember him distinctly saying “when I go to New York, it’s my time to get away from everything,” and being really hurt by that. Feeling like I was something he needed a break from. I stopped trying. We “avoided” (McCornack 302) each other for the rest of summer vacation. Eventually one day I told him if he didn’t want to act like we were in a relationship, then we didn’t have to pretend there was still any affection there at all, and I “terminated” (McCornack 302) it. I am sure he never saw an issue like I did. It was more of a “pseudo-conflict” (McCornack 262) in my own head. I thought there was a problem while he thought everything was fine. What could I have expected in middle school? It ended up being more of a…show more content…
I am honestly really thankful for the time we did share together and, while unfortunate, it was an incredible learning experience that has helped me through my current, thriving relationship. If I could have done anything differently, I might have not waited so long to terminate. It was a stressful summer vacation for me and I think that at the first signs of him losing interest in the relationship, I should have known it was over then. I do not date without being able to see myself with someone for the rest of my life and at that point, I couldn’t see it with him anymore. I know now about the most damaging kind of conflict, the demand-withdraw kind and I can now avoid that in my current relationship. Sam Vuchinich of The International Encyclopedia of Marriage and Family states that a demand-withdraw conflict “…increases the intensity of the first partner 's demands, which leads to further withdrawal by the other. The result, of course, is that nothing is solved, one partner is increasingly frustrated and the other is pushed further into a noncommunicative state.” (Vuchinich) This is absolutely what happened to Josh and I, and I know now how to either, not be so demanding, or to work on a better solution at the first sign of a withdraw response from my

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