Monogamy: Its essence and benefits
“From this moment, I, take you, as my best friend for life. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you through our walk together. I promise to provide for your needs and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. This is my solemn vow” (Daversa). This vow is an example of words expressed between a man and woman on their wedding day as they face one another and declare their love in front of family and friends. However, when the same man says these words on more than one occasion to different women, then the validity is called into question. Monogamy is the practice or state of being married to, or having a sexual relationship with one person at a time (Little et. al. 1275). Although rare, monogamous relationships can be observed among animals in the wild. Beavers, which mate for life, use their union as a survival tool to construct and maintain their dams (Caraza). While humans are considered animals, they have developed beyond their counterparts to develop a whole set of complicated emotions - love, jealousy, rage, and depression. Generally, animals have no need for emotional fulfillment. Their brains do not have the capacity to house these feelings that humans have come to develop. Humans, on the other hand, have emotional needs, and among these are to express love and to receive love in return. Man's greatest fear is loneliness, and monogamy helps give humans that deep, emotional connection with another human being that we all need to survive (Becker 34). Monogamy provides individuals with emotional and physical stability that cannot be achieved with alternatives to monogamy.
There are many people who are of the opinion that monogamy is monoto...
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...ng to protect what is theirs. The sense of ownership now envelops them.
Monogamy, in all sense of it and what it stands for, is the best form of a relationship. It’s big enough to comprise father, mother, and children and yet small enough to relate and understand one another’s concerns and expectations. A well guided monogamous relationship embedded in trust and love is the best environment one can thrive in. This especially is true for children who cannot make decisions for themselves and are completely dependent on the choices made for them. Monogamy also encourages gender equality and compromises between two parties to reach fundamental decisions. The benefits to monogamy greatly outweigh those for the alternative relationship styles. Thus, monogamy is a strong foundation and creates an environment for enhancing the positive growth for many generations to come.
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
Marriage is usually considered as a tie between two individuals who love each other, but Elizabeth Joseph in the article “Polygamy - the Ultimate Feminist Lifestyle” introduced an interesting alternative for an individual who wants a person to be their spouse regardless of their marriage status. She also presents polygamy as an effective option for modern independent women to maximize their time between their career and family life. However, Joseph, as a journalist and an attorney, only mentioned the benefits of polygamy without the cons that follows it. She also admits in practicing polygamy herself. Through this we can reveal that she is not a reliable source to show that polygamy is the “ultimate lifestyle” because she is clearly biased
Have you ever considered cheating on your partner? Studies show that there is a 76% chance of either partner in a marriage committing infidelity (Ferrer 55). In light of the common occurrence of infidelity within monogamous relationships in our society, would it not be logical to consider the possibility that non-monogamous relationship dynamics might be appropriate for some individuals? The idea seems to be on people’s minds, since it has also been coming up in popular culture lately, in shows like “Big Love” and “Sister-Wives”, both of which focus on polygamy, the practice of being married to more than one person at a time. Additionally, there have been many articles written about polyamory, the practice of having more than one intimate relationship at one time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved, and non-monogamy recently. One such article is “Beyond Monogamy and Polyamory,” written by Jorge Ferrer, Ph.D., who is the Chair of the Dept. of East-West Psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies, and was published in ReVision Journal. Ferrer’s goal in writing this article is to expose readers, mainly other scholars, to the possibility of non-monogamous relationships, and the concept of sympathetic joy. While I agree with much of what Ferrer is saying in his article, particularly his points about sympathetic joy, jealousy, genetics, and his responses to the arguments against polyamory, the fact that he overlooks the religions that do not support his theory, while using others to support his theory, weakens his argument.
In the article “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love” the author, Stephanie Coontz, talks about how love has rarely been the motivating reason for marriage, and how in many cultures it still isn’t. She also informs readers of the reasons why people got married in ancient cultures, different types of motivations for marriage in modern cultures, how the union between spouses often isn’t the most important relationship in other countries, and how marriage is often not monogamous.
Beside the social stigmatism to polygamy, monogamy has many benefits for the human race. Although some may argue, as humans, we aren’t exactly designed to be a perfectly monogamist species, it my personal opinion that we have the adept skills to make monogamy work and be a valuable way of life. Of the about 4,000 mammal species on Earth, only a few dozen form lifelong monogamous pair bonds (Jeffries). That equates to approximately 3% of all mammals participating in monogamous activities. Professor Roger Rubin reports in his paper “Alternative Family Lifestyles Revisited …Communes”?, family...
Mothers and Fathers in childbearing families play an important role to their children’s lives. Mothers are to nurture, give guidance and discipline by showing love and compassion to both husband and child while fathers are known to give the same to their children, but in a more physical hands on direction compared to verbal interactions that mothers give. “Studies of families with fathers actively involved in both childcare and household responsibilities, reported preschoolers who showed increased cognitive competence, increased capacity for empathy, increased self-control, and a decrease in gender-stereotyped beliefs” (Weiss, Louis, Ph.D., “Fathers Role in Early Child Development” p. 2).A healthy marriage relationship between the mother and father brings a healthy social and psychological development to the child’s life. Having a healthy relationship reduces unhealthy behavior that would be caused by stress, emotional stability, and overall physical health. This gives a longer life expectancy to the family. “In fact, research suggests that the best
In a child’s early age, the parents end up becoming unromantically involved (Tach, Ronald and Edin). “Over 40 percent of nonmarital relationships end by the child’s first birthday, and by the time the child is 5 years old, over 60 percent of parents are no longer romantically involved with each other (Tach, Ronald and Edin).” When parents spilt up they can have tension towards each other, making it difficult to work together in raising their child. The parents will end up having multiple partnerships. At times a father will become distant from their child, causing the mother to raise the child on her own.
For centuries now, we have been taught by society that being monogamous is the socially accepted norm. In fact, having more than one marital or sexual partner in many cultures is considered to be taboo. Yet that leaves many people wondering how that tradition was even constructed and whether or not we should continue to live in a monogamous manner. In this paper, we are going to examine if being monogamous is truly a part of human nature and whether or not we are meant to be with only one marital or sexual partner throughout the course of our lives. Now more so than ever, society is moving in a direction that challenges traditional ways of life and many people are no longer following this socially constructed norm. In fact, monogamy has become a very popular, controversial topic that is continuously being addressed by the media and it has people second-guessing if remaining monogamous fits their ideal lifestyle. This is an especially important topic for our generation, due to the fact that we are currently at the stage in our lives where we set goals for ourselves that will pave the roads of our futures. Deciding whether or not to be monogamous is just as important as picking career paths and it holds just as much significance in the way it affects the rest of our lives. This is a problem in relational communication because whether we decide to be monogamous or non-monogamous, our decision will ultimately affect the way we interact with others and the way we approach intimate relationships. With today’s society slowly moving against monogamy, it’s time to decide if limiting ourselves to one marital and sexual partner is really in our nature, or if it’s just a tradition of the past that no longer holds the social significance that ...
In this era we live in, we are brought up to think divorce is bound to happen. According to The American Psychological Association, “about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce” and “the divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.” Many adults decide that it is less messy to just live with one another rather than actually get married. This is beginning to drive the rates of marriage down. Many have speculated that relationships will continue to evolve, especially if the human lifespan continues expand. Fiction writers such as Drew Magary and real world scientists such as Aubrey de Grey have explored this very topic of relationships.
The article Breaking the Cycle Mother, Daughter Find It Can Be Difficult to Leave Polygamy behind Polygamy: It 's Tough to Break the Cycle by Joan O 'Brien is about a mother’s experience leaving a polygamous marriage. This mother, Betsy Barlow of Salt Lake City also inspired her daughter, Ellen to do the same thing. It is explained that Mrs. Barlow felt that being a part of a polygamous marriage was defeating for women and herself. O’Brien states, “Barlow believes that in practice, polygamy ``suppresses ' ' women”. Most women would drop out of High school to raise children for the one husband and Mrs. Barlow was taught that this was the only way to reach the celestial kingdom. Her parents taught her this and she openly admits to teaching her
Throughout history, there has been controversy as to how many partners one person should be able to have. According to Dictionary.com, the definition of monogamy is, “marriage with only one person at a time.” Meaning you don't have any affairs, or any type of relations to anyone else except for your partner. Being monogamous is a good lifestyle because it promotes peace, you don't have to talk to many people, and it will improve the economy.
Marriage is termed as a legitimate commitment or social establishment which unites two people mutually as husband and wife. The agreement ascertains privileges and responsibilities amid spouses, spouses and children and spouses and in-laws. Marriage is deemed to be a momentous union in every society. It is significant in terms of providing security, emotional support and fulfilling economic, social, cultural and physical needs. These needs are the natural cravings of young adults that drive them towards matrimony. It is a foundation that is based on personal responsibilities which form the backbone of civilizations.
It has been said, children from two-parent families are better off. The setting is also a factor to take into consideration. The increase in single- parent homes has had an extensive and negative effect on children’s development. 50% of marriages end in divorce. We have young people with young minds having children, they can hardly take care of themselves at the age of 21, yet they have decided to bring four children into this world to be raised by one parent. In some communities, majority of the children are being raised by a single parent. Statistics have shown that children raised in a healthy single parent home have more problems emotionally, psychologically, in school, and with the law than those raised in healthy two-parent homes. No matter how good a single parent is, that a single parent can NEVER do for the child how two present, committed, parent partners share and work together; communicate together and solve problems together as equals.
In the United States, marriage is a commitment two people make for the rest of their lives. The average American marriage lasts seven years. Well over half of all marriages end in divorce (Francouer, 72). Statistics in the infidelity have rose fifty percent since the 1970s and is rising all the time. The divorce count in this country is now up to one out of every three-marriage end in divorce. Serial polygamy is a common lifestyle for those who are divorced and then become remarried. The relationship between a husband and wife should be sacred and trustworthy. Without the trust and honesty there is no marriage. Monogamy is the loving, sharing, and devoting one's self to another person for the rest of their life. Monogamy should be the most important aspect in a marriage.