preview

Mathilda: Guilt to Mathlida

Good Essays
Nearly all readers would agree that Mathilda loved her father dearly, regardless of how he acted towards her. Mathilda was bewildered when her father's behavior towards her changed. It doesn't simply change once; it changes time and time again, and not for the better. This emotional roller coaster her father puts her on makes Mathilda wonder if something is wrong with her. It makes her believe she is the cause of her mother's and eventually father's death. She feels unworthy of any sort of relationships later in life. This is why the guilt Mathilda's father imposes on her affects her concept of self later in life.

Mathilda feels like something is wrong with herself that makes her father act in such an unstable manner. Probably the biggest piece of evidence is when her father tells her the reason he has been so sad and angry is because he loves her. She is shocked by this confession because she had thought all this time that he hated her and she had done something to make him angry. When he kills himself a few hours later and leaves only a note for explanation, she breaks down. She then secludes herself from everyone because she becomes so depressed by all the guilt and sadness she feels. Mathilda then appears to be very content, and the guilt seems to go away for a while. When Woodville comes into her life, her feelings get mixed up again. This is when she thinks about killing herself. She is tired of feeling so sad and worthless and does not see the point in living. Everyone she thinks she could ever love is in another world; there is nothing for her in this world, so she thinks she is ready for the n...

... middle of paper ...

...ever actually does it is because Woodville talks her out of each time she seriously considers it. The other reason is because she knows it is unnatural to take your own life willingly. Even so she becomes very impatient waiting for the hour when God should grant her wish of letting her die by His hand.

The guilt Mathilda's father imposes on her, definitely affects her concept of self. It makes Mathilda wonder if something is wrong with her. She also believes she is the cause of her mother's and eventually father's death. Mathilda feels unworthy of any sort of relationship later in life. After her father kills himself, she is devastated and feels lost in the world he left her in. Although her father may not have meant to do so, he affected the way Mathilda would forever look at her self and how she fit into society.