Is monogamy really the best relationship dynamic for everyone? Are people being honest with themselves, their lovers, or even their spouses in regards to monogamy? Apparently they are not, due to the seemingly common occurrence of infidelity in society today. This is why I will explore alternative relationship dynamics, and the pros and cons of monogamy, polyamory and other non-monogamous lifestyles. The idea of non-monogamy seems to be on people’s minds, since it has been coming up in popular culture lately, with shows like “Big Love” and “Sister-Wives.” Why shouldn’t the topic be of interest to the public? It affects everyone, concerns the way we form romantic relationships with one another, and influences the future of American family dynamics beyond traditional coupling. While many people in American society do not consider any relationship style other than monogamy to be legitimate, we often think about people other than our partners in a romantic or sexual way, and some people may be better suited for a non-monogamous relationship dynamic. To support this conclusion, this paper will explore the various styles of non-monogamy, look at the influence of genetics and biology on our relationships and counter the common arguments against non-mongamy, to show that it is a viable relationship option.
In recent discussions of marriage and relationships styles, a controversial issue has been non-monogamous relationships in American society. On the one hand, some argue, that monogamy should be considered the only valid option. From this perspective, many people feel that non-monogamous relationships are immoral, and a threat to family and society. On the other hand, however, there is the argument that the expectations monogamy sets f...
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Claude Fischer the author of Sweet Land of Conformity erroneously makes the claim that, “Our culture consists that if you marry… you are signing an explicit or implicit contract to cooperate and conform.” We feel that as Americans, people tend to stray from this ideal; this is portrayed through divorce and infidelity. In today’s corrupt society, when you marry, you are expected to be loyal based on an, “explicit or implicit contract.” But as time goes by and people become less interested and involved with their partners, we see that this claim is not true. The twisted love triangle that occurred between Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, and Brad Pitt in 2005 demonstrates an example of infidelity which led to divorce. While Brad Pitt was married
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Monogamy is a cultural norm that dominates many modern societies, and when individuals engage in monogamous relationships, they are unconsciously conforming to historical and cultural legacies of what is perceived as love that predate their illusions of personal agency. Although anthropological records indicate that 85% of human societies have tended towards polygamy (Henrich, Boyd and Richerson 2012), the modern culture of monogamy has rapidly risen and spread in the past millennium (Senthilingam 2016). This demonstrates how an individual’s conception of a heterosexual relationship as normatively monogamous has been constructed by social forces. In addition, social forces in the form of state legislation also perpetuate and reinforce an individual’s conception of what a romantic relationship should entail. Monogamous heterosexual marriage remains to be the only form of marriage with legal recognition in many countries. An individual’s belief that a romantic relationship should culminate in marriage is hence not formed through independent thought, but rather through what is considered normative by law. Essentially, “marriage is not an instinct but an institution.” (Berger 1963, 88) because it is enabled and promoted by virtue of the law. In addition, many couples believe in
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Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
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Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
In this era we live in, we are brought up to think divorce is bound to happen. According to The American Psychological Association, “about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce” and “the divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.” Many adults decide that it is less messy to just live with one another rather than actually get married. This is beginning to drive the rates of marriage down. Many have speculated that relationships will continue to evolve, especially if the human lifespan continues expand. Fiction writers such as Drew Magary and real world scientists such as Aubrey de Grey have explored this very topic of relationships.
It is not a new thought that today’s young Americans are facing issues, problems and difficult decisions that past generations never had to question. In a world of technology, media, and a rough economy, many young adults in America are influenced by a tidal wave of opinions and life choices without much relevant advice from older generations. The Generation Y, or Millennial, group are coming of age in a confusing and mixed-message society. One of these messages that bombard young Americans is the choice of premarital cohabitation. Premarital cohabitation, or living together without being married (Jose, O’Leary & Moyer, 2010), has increased significantly in the past couple of decades and is now a “natural” life choice before taking the plunge into marriage. Kennedy and Bumpass (2008) state that, “The increase in cohabitation is well documented,such that nearly two thirds of newlyweds have cohabited prior to their first marriage”(as cited in Harvey, 2011, p. 10), this is a striking contrast compared with statistics of our grandparents, or even parents, generations. It is such an increasing social behavior that people in society consider cohabitation “necessary” before entering into marriage. Even more, young Americans who choose not to cohabitate, for many different reasons, are looked upon as being “old-fashioned”, “naive”, or “unintelligent”. This pressure for young people to cohabitate before marriage is a serious “modern-day” challenge; especially when given research that states, “... most empirical studies find that couples who cohabited prior to marriage experience significantly higher odds of marital dissolution than their counterparts who did not cohabit before marriage”, stated by Jose (2010) and colleagues (as c...
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In the United States, marriage is a commitment two people make for the rest of their lives. The average American marriage lasts seven years. Well over half of all marriages end in divorce (Francouer, 72). Statistics in the infidelity have rose fifty percent since the 1970s and is rising all the time. The divorce count in this country is now up to one out of every three-marriage end in divorce. Serial polygamy is a common lifestyle for those who are divorced and then become remarried. The relationship between a husband and wife should be sacred and trustworthy. Without the trust and honesty there is no marriage. Monogamy is the loving, sharing, and devoting one's self to another person for the rest of their life. Monogamy should be the most important aspect in a marriage.
Despite these notable numbers, polyamory remains misunderstood and much maligned. Largely due to our unwarranted and yet seemingly unwavering faith in the sanctity of monogamy, polygamists often feel tremendous pressure to hide their private lives, for fear of losing the respect of friends and family. By creating a stigma around having multiple partners, we as a society are committing nothing less than discrimination. Despite all of the arguments that its opponents have hurled against the lifestyle, p...
There was a time when more smart-conscious decisions were made relating to sexual relationships. In particular, sexual relationships within a marriage. However, times have changed. The pillars that hold up our individual sexual values have started to crumble. It is estimated that two out of three marriages fail due to infidelity. This is a scary statistic considering that people believe a marriage can survive infidelity. This brings us to our first myth: Everyone has affairs.
Monogamy, in all sense of it and what it stands for, is the best form of a relationship. It’s big enough to comprise father, mother, and children and yet small enough to relate and understand one another’s concerns and expectations. A well guided monogamous relationship embedded in trust and love is the best environment one can thrive in. This especially is true for children who cannot make decisions for themselves and are completely dependent on the choices made for them. Monogamy also encourages gender equality and compromises between two parties to reach fundamental decisions. The benefits to monogamy greatly outweigh those for the alternative relationship styles. Thus, monogamy is a strong foundation and creates an environment for enhancing the positive growth for many generations to come.
In today’s society the assumption asserts that there must be only two adults integrated in a relationship, however in polygamous environments, having more than one spouse is traditional. Some may argue that Polygamy is simply just an alternate lifestyle. This, however, ceases to be true. Young girls are being forced to marry older men and sometimes relatives. Little boys are often abandoned because it appears to be competition for older men. Children are victims of sexual and physical abuse. Whereas, for women, they generally become stripped of their money and experience competition against the multiple wives a husband. Although Polygamy is viewed as immoral by society, the main focus point should be saving young children and women because