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Love Of Love

Satisfactory Essays
I have gotten to the point where I am done with everyone. I don’t trust anyone anymore, not even my own sister. Instead of hearing a regular heartbeat, I just hear the sound of a broken heart. I am someone who knows exactly what it’s like to love someone so much and not to be loved in return. This man that I loved was Jacob. My sister and I fought over him like a toy, up to the point where it was getting insane.
All of this started with me being born not looking as beautiful as my sister, Rachel. Every man always fell in love with her, but I was just the “other sister” who was not appreciated, sometimes not even mentioned. All of a sudden, I was in a veil. My heavy veil was hiding the deception, anger, sorrow, and other emotions I couldn’t even comprehend at that time. I should be happy. I’m actually getting married. I hear my heartbeat again. I’m sure that Jacob’s going to hear it too. I’m half afraid that he’s going to realize the deception and half hoping that he will. Jacob gazes at me with such love in his eyes. I let myself pretend that love is meant for me. I treasure every moment of our wedding night, not able to believe in myself that I may have been worthy at some point. My wedding night is probably the only type of love I will ever receive! I mean I’m not the most beautiful human being. I’m not my sister. Sometimes, if I had a wish to be granted by God, it would be to make me beautiful and appreciated by any man who will love me for me. The next day, the cruel light of the morning reveals the deception. The love light in his eyes is blown out like a candle. I will spend the rest of my life trying to re-light that flame. The next morning, after finding out that all of it was meant for someone else, my heart slowly fel...

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...eep giving Jacob children, and hoping for love, he gives me nothing in return, just nothing. The only one who loves me is the Lord. It has come to the point that the Lord is the only one I trust and has become closer to me. Dear Lord, I don’t know what to do! I have done everything I can to earn Jacob’s love. This time, I am going to take my eyes off Jacob and name this son Judah. I don’t want this battle with Rachel.
The result of this battle with Rachel has taken me nowhere, except for giving me twelve sons and a daughter. I still remember that night when Jacob had love in his eyes. And I never again saw the light of love in Jacob’s eyes when he looked at me after that night. I thought that if I gave my husband twelve sons, he would show love and be my companion. I was silly to think that. After all, I was always the “other wife”. I was never his to begin with.
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