Living Can Kill You

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Recommended: teenage suicide :a grave problem in today's society

I swear I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I just wanted to do everyone a favor. I thought that it would make their lives easier, and that they would eventually get over it…. I was wrong. They did everything that they could to help me, but every single time I practically refused the help. At the time, I didn’t want them showing pity or regret or heartache towards me because none of it was their fault. It was my choice, and I thought it was the right choice, but that was when everything got turned upside down.
It all started when I was twelve. It was almost the end of the seventh grade, and my birthday was coming up soon. Now once you reach a certain age of course your expected to have a crush on someone or want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I however decided to take it to the next level and go sneaking around in the woods with a guy who lived in my neighborhood. And as you may have guessed, it didn’t take long before my mother found out due to the fact that my friend was dumb enough to practically tell her. She was so angry that it was as though all hell had broken loose in my house.
“How could you disrespect yourself like that? I raised you to be better than that, and I be damned if I let you end up like one of these other little girls running around here with STD’s and a bunch of babies they can’t take care of,” my mother had yelled at me.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“You’re sorry? Oh, you’re not sorry yet, but you will be once I take this belt to your behind.”
After she said that all I did was cry, while she yelled at me about what I did, and how I could have just possibly ruined my life and the lives of everyone in the house.
That night, I got the biggest whipping of my life. My arms and legs and back were sore, as well as bruised, ...

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...friends did, trying to avoid talking about my actual issues. After about two or three months I stopped going because my mother didn’t want to waste her time there if I wasn’t going to try to get the help I so desperately needed.
It was two and a half years before I finally decided to stop trying to commit suicide. Even after I had stopped my suicidal actions I still had thoughts about it. Sometimes I would zone out when I would get upset and think about a car running me over, or me jumping off a cliff heading straight towards sharp pointy rocks, or shooting my self in the head. To this day I still consider myself recovering from that dark point and time in my life, but I always look ahead into the glorious future that awaits me. It has taken me all this time to realize that life is a beautiful thing, and that it’s meant to be enjoyed by all who come across it.

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