Letting Go I read over hundreds of quotes trying to find the words I cannot express myself. Then one hits me “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” I read this quote from Steve Maraboli and realize if I stay angry about a past situation, am I only hurting myself? We have a choice to hold on to our anger and sadness or we have a choice to let go.
I hear someone yell “Jordan!” across the room.
I whip around and there is my best friend of five years standing in front of me, I immediately could tell something was off. I look at her questionably and repeat her name in the same manner,
“Darria!” I exclaim.
“I need
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I sit on the opposite side of room, quietly stewing and figuring out how to get Shylie to forgive me? After an hour of silence between us, the bell rings. I quickly grab my stuff and walk out of the room. I go to my science class and go to Shylie immediately trying to clear the situation up, she refuses to talk to me. The bell rings releasing us for the weekend. After a couple days apart, my anger slowly fades and I buy two bags of M&M's, her favorite candy as a peace treaty. I get to school early and go to meet her, I give her the M&M’s and she starts crying immediately I ask her what was wrong and she tells me her cousin died, a semi-truck hit him. I comfort her and tell her it’s going to be okay. I know that won’t fix it, I know the feeling of having someone so close to you taken, no words can fix it. She comes to my house the next couple weeks after school, I try to keep her mind off the tragedy.
She says something weird one day though “I think the funeral will be in May.”
“Huh?’ I ask because it was January. Maybe she just doesn’t know how funerals work, I thought. I go on to explain it will most likely be soon. After another week or so she goes on to say the funeral was Saturday, but when that Saturday arrives she texts weird and not like she’s at a funeral, which seemed
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She then tells me “Her cousin isn’t dead, she told me she said that to make you guys be friends again”. I slowly allow my mind to wrap around that but it seemed unbelievable. I was at a complete loss, I wasn’t sure what to do.
So, I ignored it as long as possible, it was now June. I could feel myself being resentful, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t think it could be true, or someone could lie about such a thing. For some reason, I was sad and complaining to Darria, when she says she is sad too because she was going to the cousin’s house who passes. Snap! That was the moment I felt the need to confront her.
“I’m sure you’ll be fine since he isn’t dead” I text her back.
She goes on to tell me he is dead and I had never felt more awful in my life. I asked her about what Kayla said and she said she lied because she was trying felt the need to exaggerate to Kayla because Kayla had a rough life. While it still wasn’t right, I could believe that. A day passes and she texts me she did lie and she knows it will be hard to forgive her but she was going through a rough time and back in April she went to the mental hospital for trying to kill herself. I had spent some much time being resentful for her lying to me, that maybe I hadn’t realized how much she was going through. Sometimes a person may not be trying to hurt you when they do. You don’t always know what the other party is going through
We played Volleyball together, we were co-captains of the soccer team and we even managed the wrestling team together. I never imagined the word suicide could even be a part of her vocabulary. That is why I knew there had to be some mistake, my mom had to be wrong.
I am not sure what to do. But I think she is dead. The family moved out anyway. I do not know what to do. But I think she is dead’”
that if she wasn't dead and didn't feel sick. She was obviously mad at me for
Excerpt: "When we’re first betrayed by someone we relied on to love and protect us, we may be frightened by our own rage. Years or even decades later, we may be frightened of letting go of that anger. We may resist moving forward because we are not yet ready to detach from our suffering." - Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., Psychology Today
explained with remorse and I could see now that it killed her to tell me no. She had explained to
How could she leave me? Why would she do this to me? Maybe next time if I go to the museum she can come but she can’t because it is too late, she is not here and it is
You could have been together; you could have been happy once in your miserable life. It was a shame she had to snoop around and get involved in a case she knew nothing about. Maybe you didn’t have to kill her. Maybe, just maybe, you could’ve just confessed.
I was at work and my mum was saying that my cousin had passed away. I
That apology never came though; she has never apologized for anything she has ever done or said to me (more on this later).
I loved her you know. I loved her, before, before she changed. Before everything went wrong. Before she killed herself. I’m pretty sure it was my fault too. If only I had been brave enough, like she was, but I guess that’s why people humiliated her. I guess that’s why she died; because I was a coward. I wish I hadn’t of been, she wouldn’t be in a grave if I had just had the courage. I loved her too. She didn’t know it, but I tried to hint at it. I guess she thought I was leading her on or something. I tried to tell her but every time I did attempt to, she would look up at me with those big brown eyes and I would melt and nothing would come out.
I never told anyone about that night. And I never planned to. I mean since she was dead there was no sense in making her look bad to god. Although I am pretty sure god knows. Anyways, the funeral droned on for five hours, I mean she was my best friend but FIVE HOURS.
She had been sick for a few months in a hospital but one day I got home from school, and everyone was sad. Immediately that was when I knew she died. I didn’t ask for details because I didn’t want to know. I do know
As I arrived at her apartment she didn’t answer the door, I just went in. I walked down the hall way into her bedroom where she had pills and a beer and a list wrote out to make sure this would be her last recipe, a recipe of death. All I could do was yell, “What the hell are you thinking, he is not worth your life!” I started grabbing the pills, putting them back in a container and taking the beer. I hid the pills in my purse and went to get water. I begged with her to drink the water and remind...
Being on the receiving end of some unkind treatment, which is not always easy to just let go or move on – especially when you find yourself feeling maltreated and angered by trusted friends and family members. Then we become so afraid to make new friends and relationships because of our past experiences, which affect our lives. We try to protect ourselves by building a fence around us to avoid reoccurring offenses and to prevent people from getting close to us to avoid getting hurt again. Furthermore, we should learn how to embrace ourselves and place ourselves in a situation without stress, anger, regret, self-pity or judgement. Having realized that, if I had not forgiven, part of my inner strength would be caged in anger, resentment, pain or stress of some kind.