The process of transitioning from conflict to forgiveness and reconciliation, thus also a transition between these characteristics, is referred by Lederach as constructive social change. The goal of it is to "change the flow of human interaction in social conflict from cycles of destructive relational violence toward cycles of relational dignity and respectful engagement." He advocates that the path to realize constructive social change to end conflict is through negotiations, peace arrangements, and most importantly, a shift to a context-based, permanent and dynamic platform "capable of nonviolent generating solutions to ongoing episodes of conflict." Although Lederach intends constructive social change as a method of achieving peace for conflicts …show more content…
There have been on many occasions that I am confronted with interpersonal conflicts, some more serious than others. One of the most serious conflicts I have encountered involved my parents, yet it was also one that had the biggest positive impacts in my life. The conflict took its roots when I started high school. Due to our economic situation, my parents worked strenuous jobs with inflexible, long hours. As a result, they depended on my older sister and I to watch over our three younger siblings. Unlike my sister, I was involved in afterschool athletics, which then divided my time between home and school even further. This created an imbalance; my older sister took most of the responsibility of taking over my siblings. Due to this, my parents were not supportive of my involvement of extracurricular. This escalated when my parents left their jobs to open up a small family restaurant; as the business starting to pick up, not only did they need my sister and I to help at home, but also help at the restaurant. Since athletics were time consuming, I could not divide my time to cater my parents' …show more content…
Other conflicts would arise, almost like a tangent from the original source of the problem. The fights escalated, and neither my parents nor I addressed the issue appropriately. Instead, we would resort to not speaking, mostly because of my immaturity I did not know how to find a resolution to my conflict. By the end of my senior year, the conflict had escalated to a high degree I thought it was best if I moved out. I moved out a few weeks after high school graduation for the summer. At the time, I was experiencing many emotions. I was resentful towards my parents for allowing the situation to escalate to the point that it did, I was upset because I was not living at home and felt hopeless about the situation. For three months neither one of us took steps forward to forgive one another and reach reconciliation. We were both too upset to put our pride away and try to do so. We instead carried around the emotional baggage of the
As a small 5th grader not much sense came out of my parents divorce. Lots of confusion mixed in with an underlying sadness that I was too shy to show because I couldn’t stand the thought of making my mother cry. But it hurt. I took these emotions and bottled them up hopes that things would go back to normal
According to Graham, reconciliation is both “… a goal in the sense that it aims to restore relationships or to promote agonism or mutual tolerance, respect, and dignity […] [And] it is a process because it requires multiple modes, steps, stages, and transformations across all levels of society and amongst all stakeholders in a conflict” (Graham 2015). Through reconciliation and the related processes of restorative justice, parties to the dispute explore and overcome the pain brought on by the conflict and find ways to build trust and live cooperatively with each other. Restorative justice seeks to have a positive impact on offenders by confronting them with the consequences of their actions and delineating their responsibilities, giving them both the opportunity to repair the damage caused to the victim and to work on finding a solution to their problems (Umbreit, Bradshaw and Coates, 1999). According to Philpott, there are six components of political reconciliation: building socially just institutions and relations between states, acknowledgement, reparations, punishment, apology, and forgiveness (Philpott
I yelled at them, ignored them, and occasionally did the opposite they told me too. At the time, I thought that made me better than them, but in the end, it got me nowhere. Soon I entered high school and my bratty preteen-self calmed down. However, my parents became stricter on my grades because there was a big milestone that would be coming up in a few years, getting accepted into college. My parents made it very clear that if I did not get a large scholarship to any university, I would have to go to the local community college. That was the last thing I wanted to happen, I wanted out of the house. I now had a strong incentive to do well in school. I wanted to be able to go out on my own and escape their tight grasp on me. I completed year after year, always making “A’s” in my classes. I soon climbed to the top of my school’s ranking system and was at the top of my class. Though, this did not matter to me, I wanted out of my house. At this point, I knew I was not disappointing my parents, they were as proud as can be with a daughter at the top of her class. This was the first time in my life that I felt as if my parents were generally proud of me and my accomplishments. I still however, felt guilty. Even though I was doing it for myself, I felt bad that I wanted to escape my parents. I did not hate them, I just could not stand being under their control
It was 3 a.m., and I could hear the argument downstairs. My parents had to do this at 3 a.m.? I got up, walked around for a minute, and went back to bed- I had school the next day. This became an increasingly common occurrence, almost every other day the fall and winter of junior year. The argument had been more or less the same for the last month, centering around my dad's alcoholism and family's money troubles.
New York Hospital Queens. (2014). Lasting Effects of Parents' Squabbles. New York Hospital Queens. Retrieved from: http://www.nyhq.org/diw/Content.asp?PageID=DIW010480
I was awful young enough to not fully be aware of the entire situation. What I did know was that I didn’t want to move into a new house, attend a new school, and definitely not live without my dad. Adapting to my new and different surroundings was very hard for me. I was upset with my dad for his actions because he was the cause of all the changes. I was mainly angry with my mom though for her decision. To my eight year old self, I felt as if it wasn’t fair. I was her precious girl and entire world and I knew she would do anything to see my happy. For that particular reason was why i couldn 't comprehend her decision. I wasn 't happy with the outcome, I hoped she would forgive him and we could be a family
My family was dysfunctional due to the fact that my parents would argue about their responsibilities. This was especially relevant during dinner when I would sit at the table - told minutes before that dinner will be ready soon, but then would wait hours for any food to finally arrive, my parents busy doing work, would forget to cook and instead order dinner from a nearby restaurant.
I was born and raised in Tallahassee, Florida. My mother was born in Taiwan and moved to the United States to continue her education when she was in her mid- twenties. My father is from Fort Walton Beach, Florida. My parents have different cultures, and as a result they have completely different backgrounds. When I was growing up, I had a hard time reconciling these different cultures. It was difficult for me and my sister to know what to do in many social situations because our primary schema (our parents) would act completely different in similar social situations. When I would ask my parents for advice, they would give me contrasting suggestions. As I grew older, I started to realize that both my parents were right, even if they acted like opposites.
These conflicts come up from a wide variety of different issues and each family has their own unique way of solving them. When people think of family conflict, its usually associated with a negative family memory or experience that families try to dismiss and often pretend like they never happened. However, conflicts are unavoidable no matter how hard a family tries to dodge them. In fact, purely avoiding conflict in the long wrong often can lead to negative long-term consequences among the family (Gottman and Krokoff, 1990).
How do you Resolve the disagreement and conflict? (Your answer must be at least in 50-75 words)
The interpersonal conflict revolves around my mother and I. We have always had a strong relationship but lately, have been at constant odds between each other. There is conflict between us because of our conflicting views on whats the better option for our beloved dog. My mother will always hold the power most of the times by default, she is my mother after all, but when it comes to this specific interpersonal conflict, I certainly hold the power. Other family members know of this dilemma as well including my grandmother who is just as conflicted as my mother and I are. My grandmother has a strong attachment to our dog and would effect her emotionally.
My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn't have to, and I knew the reasons. I had lived the reasons for as long as I was old enough to remember. The arguments, the name calling, the accusations, the past threats to move out. I was well aware of the reasons. Although there was never any physical violence there was enough screa...
All they cared about was that I was owning up to them. They wanted us to have good grades but they were never there to support us when we were learning, but even if they would be I learned right away it's better to sit by yourself and try to understand then to have someone yell over you when you don't understand something. My parents still have a fixed mindset and especially my mom. I find it so funny to the point that it's pathetic she always talks about change but when my brother couldn't hold it in no more and yelled at her and said what she was really doing and that she was the one that needed to change she froze in time and said, “me?”. She was later talking to me and said, “I thought I was a good mom, I always work I always tried to make you happy I always bought you guys stuff”. Material items will never replace the love and care a child needs. There will never be enough phones, computers ,toys, i don't know you name it but there will never be enough of it to replace a love and kindness of a parent that a child needs. At that moment, I realized how she thought of herself. “The all right mother”. I did not respond anything because I knew that if I would I have to
As a child, my parents had a very volatile relationship. I witnessed many arguments that were way more than a child should ever see growing up. When I was eight years old, my Mom decided she was going to leave my Dad and move to Florida. She woke me up late one night. She was standing there with my sister, who had already made her decision. My sister had decided to go with my mom. She asked me if I wanted to stay with my Dad, or leave with her. I can remember it took me a few minutes to decide, and after she frantically asked me again, I made the choice to stay with my Dad. After two weeks, they ended up coming back home. It was not the right decision by my Dad to let her come back, since the damage had already been done. It led to ten more years of constant arguing and fights that my sister and I had to witness growing up. Eventually, the relationship ended in divorce the day I turned eighteen. They said that they stayed together for us, but in my opinion that is the absolute worse thing parents can do to their children.
The perception of transformation is the change from one state to another. Conflict transformation in more specific terms is the transition through various stages. Primarily, conflict transformation takes place through the underlying stage to confrontation to negotiation to vibrant, peaceful relationships. The purpose of this essay is to choose a historical or contemporary situation in which conflict transformation has taken place in the past and/or continues to occur. In my assignment I will research the origins, causes and current status of the conflict. I will identify what has been done and/or is being done to address the conflict in a transformative manner today. I will assess this particular situation with reference to two of the structure or process models covered in this course. I will develop a plan for further action, based on structural and process models discussed in this course. Finally I will integrate Lederach’s time frame and see if I can bond it with this particular case.