Learning to Control My Obsessive Behavior

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Learning to Control My Obsessive Behavior

Reflecting on my childhood, I realize that I must have been the only eleven-year old to receive ulcers and migraines on a regular basis. From what the doctors informed me, these medical problems were not from lack of sleep or nutrition but from excessive stress, the kind of stress that middle aged people endure due to their job, kids, or even taxes. The interesting thing is that my home life was perfectly secure. I couldn't have asked for a better family. My mom raised me as a well-rounded individual as she had me constantly involved in clubs, sports, and music. I had many good friends, and even attended a safe school. Despite all of these factors, I insisted on worrying myself sick daily. I would be compulsive and obsessive about every little detail in life such as, my dog needing a flea bath, my neighbors getting along, or losing material possessions. I would be compulsive and obsessive about every detail in life. I demanded cleanliness and organization at all times. This meant that if things were not done clean around the house, than without question, I would clean it myself. I would work on my homework until it was totally finished, even if it meant staying up all night. Though my sports and friends were a form of release and relaxation, I was never able to reach this point without being subconsciously concerned with other things. My primary concerns in life were beyond petty. I distinctly remember a day when I was at the elementary level. I was going to have a friend over after school for the first time. From the moment I woke up until she left my house, I was constantly fretting on my house being clean enough, and if she was having fun. I tried so hard to make a good impression ...

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...while still having a wonderful day. Two years ago I would have never considered being spontaneous before finals week and now I am having the time of my life while successfully squeezing in the boring stuff.

We may think a change such as this may disrupt that perfect GPA or cause one to get into trouble. Though for me, these changes are for the better. I have reorganized my priorities, and I can make more carefree decisions about how I spend my time. I know now that life is so abundant with random opportunities and beautiful people. We must soak up every experience that comes our way. Education isn't always about studying for a letter grade to impress the parents. I intend to study abroad next year and while putting my educational skills to use, I plan on adding to my lifelong memory book and practicing that "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" attitude.
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