Leadership Self-Analysis

As a leader in our church, after attending the program in Clinical Pastoral Education, I

learned so much about self. Self awareness is a major growing edge in anyones

leadership skills. Especially if you are trying to be successful and effective with your

congregation, family and in the community.

I learned that when dealing with conflict, I had the tendency to shy away or pretend as

though the conflict is not happening or that it didn’t exist. This behavior would lead to

some unattended and unhealthy issues within my self. My peers were able to recognize

my actions when conflicts occurred and would question my response and actions.. It was

only until several times conducting the same approach when it came to conflict, that I

decided to address this matter in my individual supervision with my Supervisor.

My supervisor shared a self disclosure of his experience when dealing with conflict,

which at that time, shined light with me to understand my avoidance. It was only until

then, I included conflict management as one of my learning goals for my peers to engage

with me. My peers agreed, with my permission, to hold me accountable when they

recognize that I was avoiding conflict..

With my peers journeying with me and challenging me in this area, I must say that

conflict is not an area that I am afraid to challenge when faced with difficult situations,

but I will say that now I can address conflict in a positive manner and see it as an

opportunity for clarity. Conflict for me, is a continuance growing edge that I

will self examine and remain opened for feedback from people I feel safe to receive

constructive criticism from.

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In conclusion, when a team is not able to address conflict and to honestly build a trust,

having this not in place, aborts the growth for a team to accomplish the goal for success.

It was only when I learned that conflict was truly hindering my growth in

leadership, that I realized that I was afraid of loosing my relationships or not sure of the

unknown of how this conversation may end. Therefore I chose to shy away or

brush it under the rug. This mentality only leaves an elephant in the room without any

challenges or confrontations for clarity and growth. In addition, this elephant becomes a

unattended growing monster that is waiting to blow up at anytime.

So for me, I would walk around the elephant or pretend as though it was not even in

there, and pretend as though everything was ok..