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Journal Entry

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I must admit this has been a very difficult week; trying to manage my time, keeping up with school work, my job, and Church. It is not unusual for me to have to juggle many different tasks simultaneously, yet for some reason it seemed like an impossible feat this week. The more I tried, the more obstacles I encountered. When I thought I successfully overcame one, another stumbling block stood in my path. The reading dealt with two issues that helped me tremendously. Willimon talked about preacher as pastor and Lillian Daniels in the chapter “Casting Out Demons” touched much on the same topic. As I found myself entrenched in work; swimming in what I thought was an endless ocean, I found some consolation in Willimon’s “Pastor as Character.” Even though, I am not a pastor I felt his words spoke to me and my situation. The words “Who is weak….and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I burn out?” (page 284) echoed in my mind. In my years as a teacher, unfortunately, I have found myself sitting in the principal’s office to many times to count. I just commented to my mother on the other day, with great enthusiasm, “Momma, you should be proud of me, I haven’t had to go to the Principals office at all this year!” Well to my dismay, that statement was premature. At the moment when I thought that I was able to finally emerge from the water; which I found myself drowning in…the principal greets me the hall. “Ms. Townsend, have you been behaving yourself?’” He asked with a smile. I responded with a confident, resounding, “Yes sir, of course.” Well, unfortunately he received a call from a parent. My head dropped and immediately thoughts raced through my mind. I thought “What did I do?” Because honestly speaking I cou...

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...ed the part about the collar as well. I must make yet another confession, I hate wearing a collar. I’m still adjusting to wearing it, considering I just got ordained in December, so I am certain my sentiments will change. Well, at least optimistic that they will. Many feel as Daniel felt, that the collar in some way is magical. When you put it on you are magically transformed. She was looking for a transformation into one who could assert themselves and be taken seriously. She later realized the collar does not transform. That transformation comes from the inside (God) and transcends outwardly. I too, believe my spiritual path will lead me to a pastorate and I also realize that it’s not the collar or an outward symbol that will make this a reality, but it is the interaction with the people. “They are the ones who can turn [me] into a pastor.” (page105)
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