Jealousy In Beowulf

A person’s mind can be a monster that’s never seen but always heard. A physical monster like Grendel or the Dragon are easier to conquer than an entity that only yourself can hear. Everyone hears about jealousy, anxiety, and self-doubt but no one understands the reasons behind those emotions. I could not tell someone my own reasons for my jealousy, anxiety, or self-doubt which makes the salad bowl full of emotions more jumbled and confusing. The thing about emotions is that if they are all jumbled I cannot conquer them if I cannot identify the monster. These invisible monsters control my life and stay buried just enough that they are impossible to identify and conquer. My jealousy, anxiety, and self-doubt stem from my fear of disappointing people and fear that my modern day Beowulf will not enough to

Without self-doubt, anxiety and jealousy would have no place in my emotions. There is a general saying that “confidence is key” which rains true because if I had confidence that who I am was enough, then there would be no reason to create anxiety over being a failure or look at other people with jealous thoughts. I have searched but there is not a clear destination from where my self-doubt has originated, which makes its destruction more difficult. Not knowing the origin of this monster raises the question of nature vs. nurture. Was this monster created because of events that happened in my life or was I just born this way? Beowulf was born with his strength that created his courage to slay monsters but events in his life, for example, slaying Gendel, increased his courage. This logic also applies to how my self-doubt was probably caused. I was born with a little bit of doubt but over time events discouraged me and I fell deeper into the whole of self-wollow. Self-doubt can cause more emotions than jealousy and anxiety. Maybe conquering the one big monster will slowly collapse the rest of the pyramid