Introduction
A Monster Calls, by Patrick Ness, is an awful book. Not the kind of awful that is synonymous with terrible, but nearer along the lines of awe-inspiring. This story leaves you with a sense of awe- awe of the pain that a boy can experience, and astonishment at the power that the truth can have. The story is awful, since the protagonist’s mother is dying from cancer. The entire novel relates the struggles that Conor, the protagonist, faces as he slowly loses his mother. From dealing with bullies, an absent father, and a cold grandmother, Conor encounters seemingly endless hardships. He begins to crack under the pressure, and then begins to have a terrible nightmare every night. What he does in that dream racks him with guilt, and
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Couldn’t one just avoid the whole process, as well as all the pain involved? However, there is no avoiding the process. According to Dreyfus, the process is natural and is a byproduct of being attached to anyone or anything. Whenever one loses someone they were attached to, they mourn that loss, or grieve it (Dreyfus). Avoiding the grieving process is futile, since it is so closely related to our abilities to form emotional attachments. Therefore, “If we do not allow ourselves to grieve, we will stunt our ability to attach... If we do not grieve effectively, we stunt our own growth and will find it difficult to attach again”(Dreyfus). By any avoidance of the grieving process, we will simply hurt ourselves in the future. An example of this is found on page 163, when Conor enters his mother’s hospital room, “He pushed open the door, fearing the worst. But his mum was awake… she was smiling… [but] he saw that the smile didn’t match her eyes… And they wouldn’t have pulled him out of school to tell him she was feeling a little bit better”(Ness). Since he had been avoiding accepting his mother’s fate up until this point, Conor is nearly crippled by the sudden, crushing truth that he now has no option but to face her death. The only way to move past his grief, and past one’s own, is by confronting it through the grieving
He could not sleep and his head was like an old radio that never shut off. His eyes had sunk into his skull from lack of sleep to go along with his eyes, discolored mounds of flesh begging for help. One night the voices led him to leave his apartment and wander through town until they finally led him to the scene of rape in progress. The voices had pleaded for his help, leading through a maze all the while telling him which turns to take. He was in an alleyway behind an old apartment complex and had heard the cries of a woman pushed up against the dumpster by a man forcing all his weight up against her.
Imagine your life coming to an end, but as you take your final breath you are, for the first time, waking up. In Patrick Ness’s More Than This the truth is fragmented, only coming back in sharp pieces at a time. In a desolate world, the end, as it is known as, is escapable. In this futuristic, post-apocalyptic setting, reality is hidden by a vivid dream mandatory for everyone. Due to the destruction of mankind and the cost of keeping everyone alive, the virtual world becomes a much better option to deal with people. With the use of flashback, symbolism, and title significance the author is able to express that life does have meaning even when you want more than anything for it to have none.
In 1969 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist, published the Pioneering book On Death and Dying. The work acquainted the world with the grieving process, called the five stages of grief. Kübler-Ross gathered her research from studying individuals with terminal cancer (Johnson, 2007). The first stage of the grieving process is denial. In this stage the person refuses to believe that their loved one is deceased, a common thought during this period is, “This can’t be happening to me” (Johnson, 2007).The second stage of the grieving process is anger. In this level the person becomes frustrated with their circumstances, a customary complaint is “Why is this happening to me?” (Johnson, 2007). The third stage of the grieving process is bargaining. At this point the individual hopes that they can prevent their grief, this typically involves bartering with a higher power, and an ordinary observance during this time is “I will do anything to have them back” (Johnson, 2007). The fourth and most identifiable stage of grief is depression. This phase is habitually the lengthiest as...
He does this over a timespan of the author’s young adult life. When his grandfather dies, he does not properly handle that information. Whereas, his sister automatically cries and expresses herself, the author is at a loss for feelings and does not know what to do or what he feels. He even feels upset because he does not respond in a similar way his sister does, with tears and anger and sadness. What is the right way to deal with death? Is there a right and wrong way to deal with death? According to Whitfield, no there is no right to grieve. However, this is only one of his main points in the
Time is fear's worst enemy, as time goes on; fears only become a worse conflict. For Conor it was the fear of his mother passing away. For Conor it was the fear of his mother passing away. All this time he pretended the fear was not there, every time someone brought it up, he would shut it down. He acted like this mother was never sick, saying of course his mother will get better. He knows inside it is a lie but is willing to listen to them anyway for comfort. Soon though, he learns from the monster that he has to face his fears even though it hurts because if he does not he will never accept it and feel guilty so it is for the better of Conor. After hiding for so long, Conor finally had to deal with his fear; because he had not dealt with it for so long it caused him painful conflict inside of him and the pain was unbearable.
When dealing with death individuals have different methods of coping with grief in order to make the mourning period more tolerable. Certain factors allow people to heal faster than others. In “Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee, the protagonist Shaila manages to accept the death of her family and move on with her life. However, in “Death by Landscape” by Margaret Atwood, the main character, Lois has immense difficulty accepting the death of her best friend which causes her to lose meaning in her own life. Both Shaila and Lois deal with the same effects of grief which includes denial, finding closure, and feeling dissatisfied with their lives, however one is able to move forward while the other is not due to their specific positions. Death is a very traumatic devastating matter that can have distinct effects on people. Depending on how the ones impacted handle life after death they can either accept it or let it destroy their lives.
Death is a tragic thing that affects everyone around the deceased, including the deceased themselves. While there are many ways to deal with such matters, one thing is for certain, it’ll be a hard time no matter what you do.
For my book talk assignment I read a realistic fiction novel named “Monster” by Walter Dean Myers.
Everybody grieves at the death of a loved one or close friends differently. The loss of somebody that was close to you is never an easy thing to get over. You never know how long somebody will be in your life. Death has no timetable, and you’ll never know when you or somebody will die. There’s a chance that I might not finish this essay, and theres a chance that I might not have a family, or a chance for me to live my life to the fullest but I have to live my life without letting that hold me back. How does somebody deal with the death of a family member or friend when their relationship ended on a bad note due to an argument? Elisabeth Kübler-Ross compliments matters further when she writes, “A husband and wife may have been fighting for years, but when the partner dies, the survivor will pull his hair, whine and cry louder and beat ...
Death is an unavoidable event that will eventually happen to everyone. Some days may be easier than others and life may feel like it has returned to normal and other days, we feel helpless. (Johnson, 2007) Dealing with the loss of someone never gets easier. Facing painful memories, confusion, heartache, and loneliness are all common reactions when it comes to loss. There is no right or wrong way of dealing with grief. Some feel the need to take it out on others, drink the pain away, or just simply wanting to be left alone. (Huffman, 2012) Those are only part of a short list of possible coping tactics. It all depends on the person and the loss they are going through that sends the griever down different roads trying to reach acceptance. Also, everyone has a different attitude towards death. Some accept the fact that people do not live forever and someday we all will die. Whether its old age, a car accident, suicide, or the misfortunes of being killed are all life ending possibilities. Some believe there is no life after death or that once a living thing dies; it cannot be brought back to life. All of these examples will be based off of the environment in which one has grown up in. (Huffman, 2012) In the following, the four stages of ‘normal’ grieving, several techniques on deali...
...ty during these stages of grief. The loss of a loved one is a painful experience and the effects of grief can be very difficult to overcome. However, when one begins to accept death, they also begin to acquire a type of strength that will help them cope with other struggles that they may come across throughout their lifetime.
The article “Monsters” is written by a brilliant writer: Anna Quindlen. It tells us about the children’s fears and the parents behavior, which should always be aimed to help the child to overcome his /her fear. The author starts with a description of a night house and it’s gloomy atmosphere, especially for a little child. The little boy tells his mother that he believes a monster to live under his bad. His mother is ready to tell him about her own fears, but she stops herself. Anna Quindlen describes the appearance of the monster, and the mother realizes that she has to tell her son that there is no monster. However, she knows that it wouldn’t be helpful, because, when she will leave the room the monster will appear again. She never lied to her children, thus, it was really a trial for her to tell her children that the monster didn’t exist. It is also hard for her, because she realizes that her son will, even more strongly, believe in monsters in future, as she does now. Because the real life monsters are everywhere, and their existence cannot be denied. In real life we can see the burglars, killers and other monsters every day. Mother decides not to teach her son, how to personalize his monster, she just leaves him alone. The woman believes that there are some things, which cannot be taught, but only learned on the child’s personal experience.
How can the truth hurt and heal? Tuth, a contradictory term, unveils many sides to a story, in some cases blurring the barrier between right and wrong. The novel, A Monster Calls, by Patrick Ness reveals the power of truth through the life of a young boy named Connor. Struggling to come to terms with his mother’s fatal illness, Connor is guided by an ancient yew tree monster and his stories, which help him find peace within the toxic truth that plagued him through his mother's sickness. The monster is a symbol for healing, the grieving process, and truth. Through these multiple levels of symbolism, the philosophical message conveyed is coming to terms with the truth is important for facing difficulties and letting someone go.
The incident in which death occurs can play a crucial part in how the individual overcomes it. In some cases death can leave an individual traumatized and basically mentally paralyzed for a time being after the incident. The way of overcoming death in these individuals would be to accept it. Accepting death is a positive way of coping. Accepting death consist of understanding that death is a part of life, treasuring the moments and growing from the impact that individual had. However, this may become difficult based on how the incident occurs. The story, “My Mother’s Sin” is a prime example of overcoming death. In this story death plays a critical component. However, it is not death who defines a person; it is how the person fights back after death. The mother, Despinio, in this story had a tough time overcoming death. Despinio never accepted fault in her actions. She had smothered her baby
When growing up I always had plenty of deaths in the family. I was never able to understand how a person, especially a child could experience 3-6 deaths a year. My heart was broken, eyes swollen, and emotionally unstable at the time. The truth be told I did not realize what to resolve with myself, besides lock in my emotions and fake they weren’t there. As a young man, I was taught not to show fear, tears, but only happiness. One day a remarkable shock hit me when I received a call about my grandfather’s death. I pretended that the facts lied, my grandfather was really much alive and will always be. After the horrible incident, I closed down from people, because of that my past relationship never worked out due to me not opening up. This reminds me of Willy since he pretends the