Interpersonal conflict

Interpersonal Conflict is such a broad topic in that it covers an

immense number of variables and situations. After a lot of research on

conflict, there were many different types of definitions for it. They all basically

said the same thing. Gini Graham Scott defines conflict as “everyday

differences of opinion, disagreements, and the interplay of different ideas,

needs, drives wishes, lifestyles, values, beliefs, interests, and personalities of

people. (24) Scott further suggests that conflict are more than just debates, or

negotiations, in that they are an escalation of everyday competition and

discussion into an arena of hostile or emotion provoking encounters that strain

personal or interpersonal tranquility or both (24). If you think about it conflict

is a disagreement between to people, how would you solve it? Well there are

many ways to solve conflict, you can talk it out or resort to violence. Well

there are only two ways to resolve it. I bet you did not know that not all

conflicts could be solved. According to R.J Doolittle who says that “Although

a great number of conflicts can be solved by empathic listening, by

paraphrasing, by assertiveness, some disagreements are so intense and

perceptions so fixed that conflict Donahue 2 may simply remain, and

participants will either have to end the relationship or learn to live with the

disagreement”(http://www2.pstcc.cc.tn.us/~dking/conmyths.htm). Is this

statement true? Although it says it is this true well yes, it is true. Not all

conflicts can be resolved which the book calls “Loose Loose method” (464)

in which both sides of the conflict are not happy with the outcome of the

conflict. Astonishingly enough this is the most common way conflicts are

resolved. An example of this method would be, lets say there are two friends

and a girl. The girl is seeing both of the friends and they find out and both of

them each want for the other to stop seeing the girl. Thus, we now have a

conflict, so the girl stops seeing both friends and they end their friendship with

each other. This would a good example of the “Loose Loose” method of

conflict resolution. In that, the friends lost their girl and their friendship with

each other. According to the early studies of Thomas and Kilmann

(http://chadwick.jlmc.iastate.edu/314/conflict.html) there are five different

way to manage conflict. These ways called “Conflict Management Styles.”

They are Accommodating, Avoiding, Collaborating, Competing, and

Compromising. Every person has used each of these methods depending on

the situation they are in at the time. The Accommodating tactic would be used

if you know you are loosing the argument and to save face you agree with