Haneen Abunamous
CFS 131 Family Relations
Spring Semester/ 2014/ TTH
Ordinary People
The following paper will describe the crisis in the Jarrett family (depicted in the film Ordinary People). The movie conveys anxiety in the family dance during the aftermath of the accident. After the death of their older son Jordan “Buck” in a sailing accident and the subsequent suicide attempt by their younger son Conrad, on whom this paper will primarily focus on. Although the acute phase of the crisis – the suicide attempt and the subsequent hospitalization of Conrad – passed, the underlying issues inherent in the interpersonal dynamics of the Jarrett family, exacerbated by Buck’s death and the grief issues, were not resolved. The film depicts how these underlying issues progressively lead to another relational crisis and a possible family disintegration. Calvin Jarrett, Beth Jarrett, and Conrad Jarrett each uniquely suffer and inadequately cope from the loss.
Bowen theory offers a model through which to view family processes. Within the Jarrett family system, we witness emotional triangulation, communication issues, family secrets, as well as crisis and change. The basic framework of Murray Bowen’s theory rests in the conceptualization of the family as an emotional unit. This conceptualization views the emotional activity of individuals within the family system as existing. The relationships between participants in the system are seen as a more valid indicator of individual functioning than any other. Bowen theory judges family health by the ability or inability of family members to function independently of underlying emotional forces. An ability to function independently of the ongoing family emotional process is ...
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...n the tragedy that many experience, but often regarded as not happening to "normal" or "ordinary" people.
This movie portrays an excellent look at the problems we all face. When I first saw this at I related completely to Conrad's character, the feeling of wanting to escape everything even if it means taking your own life. While watching the movie I was able to relate to the adults and could really feel for them a lot more than I thought I would. Each character has a unique sense of reality to them. The actors really carry the film, making the characters seem like real people we've known for years. The reality of the movie is so heartbreaking and so real that you feel every emotion and understand the characters feelings, whether you liked them or not. Growing up in America, the film rings many a truth to the insights of what people perceive as a "normal family".
For Bowen, the family is the unit of observation and the emphasis is put on emotional forces that are common to all families, this helps to reduce the significance of which family member is causing the problem. Bowens approach to change is understood within the context of striving to understand life’s forces, the very principal that gives coherence to Bowens approach to therapy. (Friedman, 1991). When attempting to achieve change within a client the source of the issue is less important, but rather trying to locate the systematic forces within a family as well as those that are transmitted from generation...
In conclusion, the Jarrett family has unresolved issues and grief that has not been properly handled, which is causing the stress in their relationships. To help them handle these issues they could have used, mutual purpose, creating safety, contrasting, working on their self, and dealing with their grief. Using these could have helped Conrad’s love and belonging needs and could have saved their relationship as a
In the book Ordinary People, Conrad Jarrett has a good life and loving family when his brother dies in a sailboating accident. Conrad feels lost and confused and he attempts to take his own life as a way out. He spends eight months in a mental institution and when he comes out he discovered he is a completely different person and has the realization that his old definition of normality no longer applies. A once-unified family splits into three guarded, isolated members who can no longer share anything with one another.
Family therapy is often needed when families go through transitions such as separations between parents and divorce. According to research, “the power of family therapy derives from bringing parents and children together to transform their interactions” (Nichols, & Davis, p.18), as problems need to be addressed at their source. The children who are the most vulnerable, when parents decide to separate, exhibit symptoms which are exaggerations of their parent’s problems (Nichols, & Davis, p.18). Frank and Walt Berkman are the examples of how children cope and adapt to the stressors of family separations such as marital separations and
In the Academy Award winning film Ordinary People, is about a highly dysfunctional family, the Jarrett family. This family consists of Beth Jarrett, Calvin Jarrett, and Conrad Jarrett; all of whom are highly dysfunctional. Conrad tried to commit suicide after the death of his older brother, Buck. Conrad lives through the accident, however, Buck dies. Conrad feels guilty for having survived. Beth and Calvin are distraught over the death of Buck, but are glad that Conrad lives. Beth, however, favors Buck and becomes angry with Conrad that he tried to kill himself. Calvin tries to help Conrad out all he can by attempting to talk to him. Had the Jarretts talked out their problems freely to each other, divorce could have likely been avoided. Had the Jarretts used more of conflict management strategies, such as: Contrasting, Creating Safety, STATE, and AMMP, they would have felt more secure about their relationships with each other.
According to Murray Bowen’s family systems theory, the family subsists in a system where as the individuals are inseparable from their network of relationships, but continue to strive to be individualized. Consequently, various forms of these networks are grounded in the domestic structure and the “normal” or “ideal” family and development derives from the interaction of the family members when they remain differentiated, unease is minimal, and partners have beneficial emotional communication with their own family members (Nichols, 2014). The concept of achieving individuality while remaining in a cohesive family unit may cause stress. Concepts such as differentiation of self, triangulation, emotional cutoff, and anxious attachment may aid in the elucidation of the family system. This theoretical concept along with these coinciding terms will be explored through one episode of the television series The Goldbergs called Rush.
According to Murray Bowen’s family systems theory, the family subsists in an arrangement, whereas the individuals are inseparable from their network of relationships, but continue to strive to be individualized. Consequently, various forms of these networks are grounded in the domestic structure and the “normal” or “ideal” family and its development is derived from the interaction of the family members as they remain differentiated, anxiety is minimal, and partners have beneficial emotional communication with their family members (Nichols, 2014). Subsequently, the idea of achieving individuality while remaining in a cohesive family unit may cause stress. Concepts such as differentiation of self, triangulation, emotional cutoff, and anxious attachment may aid in the elucidation of the family system. This theoretical concept along with these coinciding terms will be explored through one episode of the television series The Goldbergs called Rush.
I think it did a great job of showing how a family can come to view addictive and abnormal behavior as normal. I would recommend this movie to friends. I feel that it gives great insight into the dynamics of how the disease of alcoholism can trickle down the family tree affecting everyone it touches in such profound ways. Other than the lack of physical abuse I could see myself playing most of the roles the kids did as far as lost child and hero, I remember trying to fulfill most of those roles when I was younger trying anything from trying harder in school to trying to do chores to perfection in the hopes that I could through my works keep my parents from drinking. Thankfully as I got older I came to understand that their drinking was their illness not mine and until they decided they had enough I could do nothing to help them, but love and pray for
Throughout the film a focus on family and the dynamics is prominent. A traumatic event, the loss of a son, brother, and friend, has influenced the Jarrett greatly. Due to the circumstances in which Conrad, a severely depressed teenager and the main character, was present during the death of his brother, feelings of guilt had built up in this young man. A great deal of stress and tension is built between the family members because of this tragic accident. Here is where the concept of, change in one part of the familial system reverberates through out other parts. (Duty, 2010) The relationship between the Conrad and his mother become even more absent because, in the film it is presented to show that the mother blames and has not forgiven Conrad for the death of his brother Buck. Six months after the death of his brother Conrad attempts suicide with razors in the bathroom of his home. His parents commit him to a psychiatric hospital and eight months later, he is trying to resume his “old” life.
Calvin and Beth Jarrett, a well-to-do couple living in Lake Forest, Illinois, are faced with two tragic accidents which occurred the previous year. Their younger son Conrad, the only witness to his older brother’s boat accident, blames himself for the incident and tries to take his own life by slitting his wrists with a razor. The author looks at what happens to ordinary people when faced with extraordinary circumstances and how it affects their lives. One of the most outstanding themes in this story is alienation. It is evident mostly with Conrad and his mother.... ...
This movie is a wonderful production starting from 1960 and ending in 1969 covering all the different things that occurred during this unbelievable decade. The movie takes place in many different areas starring two main families; a very suburban, white family who were excepting of blacks, and a very positive black family trying to push black rights in Mississippi. The movie portrayed many historical events while also including the families and how the two were intertwined. These families were very different, yet so much alike, they both portrayed what to me the whole ‘message’ of the movie was. Although everyone was so different they all faced such drastic decisions and issues that affected everyone in so many different ways. It wasn’t like one person’s pain was easier to handle than another is that’s like saying Vietnam was harder on those men than on the men that stood for black rights or vice versa, everyone faced these equally hard issues. So it seemed everyone was very emotionally involved. In fact our whole country was very involved in president elections and campaigns against the war, it seemed everyone really cared.
Interpersonal conflict is. Every relationship has conflict and determining on how the conflict is resolved or handled can make the relationship stronger or weaker. If someone is more easily to come up with a compromise rather than always getting their own way, they may have stronger relationships (Bevan and Sole, 2014). Television shows also use interpersonal conflict between their characters to find a solution or compromise in the end. Interpersonal conflict is all around us, it is how we handle that conflict that makes or breaks our relationships.
“Family stress theory emphasizes the active processes families engage in to balance family demands with family capabilities as these interact with family meanings to arrive at a level of family adjustment or adaptation” (Patterson, 1988, 1989, 1993). In order for a family to be resilient, it ...
Goldfarb, Z. (2014, March 05). Sociology: The Most Fragile Families. Retrieved March 21, 2014, from Princeton Alumni Weekly: http://paw.princeton.edu/issues/2014/03/05/pages/7775/index.xml
Throughout the entire film, there are lessons that are being taught. Whether is the central theme of not judging someone by their skin color but by their character or showing the essence of what the meaning of family really is. Through the setting, acting, and relationships shown it all comes together to make the perfect film. I recommend this film be seen by everyone at least once in their lifespan, because the lessons that are depicted in there are valuable. It is the perfect movie to go see with your family and makes you grateful and thankful for everyone that you have in your life. The film brings joy, happiness, tears, laughter and much more. I can truly say that the movie is worth purchasing and viewing.