Importance Of Purpose In Life

Everyone has a purpose in life, sometimes it 's hard to believe this, especially when everything seems to be going against you. It has taken years to find my purpose and believe when I say it has been a long and tough journey. I am going to rewind all the way back to the 80 's when I was born. My mother was an addict; unfortunately I was born addicted to the drugs that she chose to use at that time. Somehow, not sure how but my mother was able to keep full custody of me. When I was 18 months I almost overdosed on my mother’s medication because she was negligent and left them "lying around the house", 2 months later, my father walked into her apartment to find me in the kitchen with the gas running on the stove with no flame, that was the final

It wasn’t bad enough that I had these "issues" my mother (adopted mother) made sure to stop my pills because she said, I wasn’t "crazy.” I lived all these years with a complex, labeling myself as crazy, worthless, no good, thinking I would never amount to anything the list goes on and on. Once I started high school I was accepted by my peers I never felt better I finally was surrounded by people who liked me. This is where I started to go downhill, I was more into what my peers thought of me and more focused on being the class clown than doing my work and paying attention a result of this I graduated by the skin of my teeth. At age 17, I moved into my own apartment, I learned to manage my money pay my own bills and keep my job. I fought for everything I needed and had because I didn’t have anyone who would pick up the pieces when I fall. I jumped from one job to another feeling so hopeless and thinking to myself that this is it, I will never amount to anything. Depression hit, I wanted more for myself, but what?

We all have been there, in the training class listening to the Supervisors success stories, and how this job can be a stepping stone to something bigger and better...”psh yea right” I thought. Once I got off OJT I moved to nights, my Supervisor pulled me into an office to tell me if I keep doing what I am doing I will be a mentor. I waited, and waited and never heard anything more and left it at that. I moved to mornings and had a supervisor instantly promote me to mentor; at this point I didn’t think anything more can come from this. A few weeks later I was a Team Lead, again nothing further would ever come of this, because it never has I lived a hard life and that’s all I knew, there is no happy ending here for me. I came into work one day and was told I am going for the Sr. Team Lead position and there was no if and or buts about it. I completed my resume and cover letter, for what though? Who am I to think that I can be a Sr. Team Lead? I am not confident enough, heck I don’t know what I am doing. Oh well, I passed my resume and cover letter just to entertain the thought. The day of my interview I was excited I "knew" I wasn’t going to get the position, but secretly I wanted it, but again this is not something I am fit for, nor will I get it so why am I excited? I felt as though my interview went well, but again, I barely passed high school, I am not smart enough, I probably bombed the interview, and I am just that