Implication Of Adoption

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Adoptive parenting generally commences as a possible option, an idea that the couple entertains as serious doubts about whether they will ever be able to become biologically parents start seeping in (Blomquist, 2009). This seems to suggest that while still trying to conceive their biological child, couples may try to create the mental space to be open to the idea of accepting a child born from another couple. The intimate way in which the option of adoption is entertained mentally could mean that the decision to adopt may be taken with fear and hope at the same time. This argument resonates with the theme of mourning underscored in the article by Noy-Sharav (2002) which however, needs to be understood in the context of the self-object relations framework it adopted.

2.3.1 The implication of gender on the decision to adopt

The decision to adopt may carry different meanings for husband and wife. De Beavoir contends that we do not become mothers simply by bearing a child but that we are made into mothers (as cited in Woertman, 1993). Notwithstanding the ongoing social changes that challenge the meaning of kinship as biologically-based (Miall & March, 2003), women may resist adoption in the belief that procreation and bearing a child is the very essence of womanhood (Cudmore, 2005). Similarly, men’s willingness toward adoption may be influenced by their dynastic duty to keep the thread of family genes going and infertility to denote a lack of virility and masculinity (Cudmore, 2005). This often translates in men often requiring more time to accept the idea of adopting a child (Högbacka, 2008).

2.3.2 The implications of the larger context on the decision to adopt

The decision to become an adoptive parent necessitates a shift ...

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... al., (2011) connote this to the stigmatizing attitudes around adoption. The qualitative study of McKay and Ross (2010) which study took also the perspective of fathers also revealed parents’ tendency to view themselves as less capable than biological parents.
Dealing with subliminal yet pervasive culturally induced attribution of parenthood and family formed by bloodlines may encumber the formation of a positive parental identity (Leon, 2002). Adoptive parents may doubt whether they are ‘real’ parents (Blomquist, 2009; Timm et al., 2011) perhaps due to internalised cultural beliefs about “real parents” being tantamount to conceiving one’s own child (Leon, 1998;) and feeling intense emotions germane to the experience of becoming pregnant and having a biological connection to the child (Cudmore, 2005; Levy-Shiff, Goldschmidt & Har-Even, 1991; Miall & March, 2003).
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