Squatting on the ground, I was weeping. I couldn’t see anything, not even my hand although it was not far from me. I made my eyes widely open to make sure if my eyes went blind or not. When it was around 8pm, I started looking for the window. Touching my hands on the corners of the room, I finally found it. I used up all my energy opening the window, but it was covered with hard dust and it was rigid. I fell down, and cried a lot. I couldn’t sleep throughout the whole night, because I was hungry and thirsty. In addition to this, it was cold in the middle of that night. I was shivering and coughing persistently. Time passed, and it was early in the morning, but nothing
Oh Sh*t! The door slams shut in my face, and suddenly I am stuck in a tight, dark room, where I can’t even move my arms to be able to scratch my nose. It feels as if I have been buried alive, as if I am stuck in a coffin. Every second goes by painfully, seconds feel like hours, and minute’s feel like days.
I hoped this was all a dream but eventually I found myself reenacting the horror over and over again. Waking up was no longer a pleasure since the people I had lived with all my life was gone. Happiness was no longer a feeling inside me. Gaining consciousness, I stood up stumbling as my legs trembled in the snow. My lips quivered as a gust of wind whistled past me. I had never imagined myself without them but now it was reality. A dominant breeze cut through me as a freezing chill ran down my spine. I stood, alienated from the whole world, in the numbing
The moment we stepped foot into the hospital, I could hear my aunt telling my mother that “he is in a better place now”. At that moment, something had already told me that my dad was deceased; it was like I could feel it or something. I felt the chills that all of a sudden came on my arms. As my mother and grandmother were both holding my hand, they took me into this small room. The walls were white, and it had a table with four tissue boxes sitting on the top. My other grandmother was there, and so were my two aunts, my uncles, and
For instant, when I gathered my pieces again, the image started to show clearly in my mind, “ The voice I heard was my mother’s “ I said to my self. I started a conversation with my inner self “ A key ! why would mom ask for a key ! which key ! didn’t she go for a ride ? maybe she lost the car’s key ? but, why would she speak with such suspicious voice ? “ there was no other solution, despite checking our parking garage. I plucked up the courage and run down to the garden, the garage’s gate was closed and that what increased my feeling of uncertainty. I opened the gate, neither mom nor the car were inside. “ Is she driving ? did she involve her self in a road accident ? what might be happening ? “ I said to my self”. A faint light was attracting my attention, I got closed to check it, I began to jog toward the source, I trampled a stick to realize that the light was like a reflection of a dog or a cat, I stepped forward to know whether it was my pet cat, suddenly the cat attacked me. I moved back from panic. I felt that someone or something touched my back, thus, I screamed out loud. “Sweetie, wake up it is time to go school “ my mom said. Then I realized that the whole was a
Lately, my sister is the only thing that keeps me smiling. Like any siblings, we have our issues but, in the end, she’s my best friend. However, that fact made it all the harder to discover how much pain she was in. To add to the sting of my parents’ constant attacks on each other, today was also the day I learned my sister had an eating disorder. As I was trying to ignore the bellowing from my room, my sister walks in crying. To my horror, she confessed that she had taken an entire bottle of pills and needed to go to the emergency room. With this news, I froze. Even as a twelve year old, I understood what that meant. My sister had just attempted suicide. Still frozen in shock, my sister was sobbing and wailing for me to do something, but what could I do? Luckily my parents heard her
As I marched over to her usual sleeping spot, she was nowhere in sight. I thought she might have gone somewhere with her family, so I went over to our usual eating spot and, well, I ate. Halfway through the day, she still hadn’t come over to eat. I was getting worried, so I went back over to her family’s spot and they were all frantically calling for her. “What’s happening?” I asked. “Oh, it’s terrible! Just terrible! We can’t find her anywhere. Do you have any idea where she might be?” I shook my head and went off to look for her myself. It was almost night fall and she hadn’t come back. I was so worried and I felt quite nauseous. My stomach was all tied in knots. Where could she be? She didn’t tell me or, by the looks of it, anyone that she would be leaving. I felt terrible, and I spent the whole night tossing and turning in my
Suddenly I awake at the noise of sirens and people yelling my name. Where am I? Those words radiate out my thoughts but never touching my lips. Panic engulfs me, but I am restricted to the stretcher. “Are you ok?” said the paramedic. I am dazed, confused, and barely aware of my surroundings. Again “Yes, I am fine” races from my thoughts down to my mouth, but nothing was heard. Then, there was darkness.
With music blasting, voices singing and talking, it was another typical ride to school with my sister. Because of our belated departure, I went fast, too fast. We started down the first road to our destination. This road is about three miles long and filled with little hills. As we broke the top of one of the small, blind hills in the middle of the right lane was a dead deer. Without any thought, purely by instinct I pulled the wheel of the car to the left and back over to the right. No big deal but I was going fast. The car swerved back to the left, to the right, to the left. Each time I could feel the car scratching the earth with its side. My body jolted with the sporadic movements of the car. The car swerved to the right for the last time. With my eyes sealed tight, I could feel my body float off the seat of the car.
Something new and awkward was happening to me taking all my attention. Nevertheless, I tried hard to comfort myself by forcing in a simple sense that it will be all right. But, I couldn’t resist the undeniable feeling of my universe squeezing too much. A feeling that went for so long that I couldn’t remember what came before. A dreadful feeling that was continuously fed with an alarming wish to escape consuming my resistance and leaving me completely exhausted. I didn’t want to surrender, in a final attempt I kicked my legs out straight but nothing happened. I tried to stretch out, to escape to make the suffering stop and merge again with the universe I used to know.“Please stop!”, I closed my eyes firmly yet no sound came out. My mouth was firmly glued by thick layers of mud.… I had no choice but finally relenting.