I remember an old saying my mother used to tell me, “Never say never”. Is this true? I would have never expected this to be true till something happened to me that changed my life till this very day. Growing up I was oddly very cold hearted. I guess I was never the gurly girl always crying after a finger nail broke or the kind of person that wore her heart on her sleeve.
The feeling of not belonging just consumes me and prevents me from participating in any religious activities or ceremonies. My family doesn’t know though, because I know that they would never understand my reasoning for not having a religion. They don’t know the pain that I went through loosing Smoky, nor the numbness that I lived through afterwards. To them, I’d just be going through a rebellious stage, though I’ve lived like this my whole life. What they might consider a split-second decision to be different, I see as a life long consequence for something that happened in my childhood.
Many wish to have their parents together. However, I am not one of those kids. I cried while on my knees I begged her and told her that we would find as much help as possible, I exclaimed to her, that we didn’t need my father to support us in any way. She disregarded everything I said. At first, I never knew the reason as to why we came back until she explained that my dad had threatened to take us away.
She saw it as something I was doing out of peer pressure, which was absurd, as at the time none of my friends had any interest in modification. I didn't even know anyone, online or offline, who had any piercings other than their ears. To her, this was nothing more than a phase I'd eventually grow out of. She argued that I was ruining my life, that I'd never get a job, that my visible piercings would get me into fights at school, the list goes on and on. My father, though he never said much about it to me, felt the same way she did.
"You will never see Eleanor," Serena snapped "She doesn't know who you are, you are a nobody, and that is how it is staying" "I won't give up on us making up for lost time, for not being there for you when you went through difficult times" "I didn't need you then, I don't need you now" Serena spat and she stood up rather hastily, "If I ever find you try to contact my daughter I will make sure she knows who and what you really are" Almost shaking with anger, with hate and the need to protect her own child from the monster before her, Serena walked away from her father. Instant regret flooding her mind for making this visit, it felt better to pretend Daniel never existed, it felt safer to always call Donald her father, he was the man who was always there for her, a man who was a fantastic father figure in her life.
He couldn’t talk to his daughter at that time because of different time zones. My stepmom made it almost impossible for my dad to interact with his daughter. She didn’t want him to be apart of her or her daughter 's life. I didn’t see how this was fair, I was getting very frustrated with her. Once he got back from deployment he called me very often seeing how I was feeling about this whole situation.
This was one of the first of many times when Janie would be silent and not allowed to speak her mind. After Jody interrupted the ceremony, Janie was just upset that she didn’t even get the opportunity to speak. “She had never thought of making a speech, and didn’t know if she cared to make ... ... middle of paper ... ...ut Jody wanted her to do his wishes and when she resented some of the orders he gave her, he got angry because he demanded her unconditional obedience. But unfortunately, Jody passed because he could not accept her independence as a woman. And this was manifested in her not being allowed to speak in public, his constant ridicule of her and his rejection of her while he was on his deathbed.
You disgust me. When I get my daughter back you’ll never see her again, you’re pathetic.” Then after that he left her where she was and ignored her for the remainder of time their daughter was gone. This goes back to her trying to get over ever bad thing that happens to her. And out of nowhere her husband, the person that’s supposed to keep her safe and protect her from all evil did the worst thing ever. Something she’s been through multiple of times and never wanted to go through it again.
I would get hurt, but I would never tell anybody about it. I would cry on my own. Words and thoughts would stuck in me, and...silence. I have never known how to fight this dumb muteness, in myself or in others. While my introversion affected me, I saw that I was a satellite of my whole culture.
Even when my father took me away from her when I was 6. My whole life changed...for the worst. All she could do was call me and tell me how much she loved me. Guess what I gave her in return. A cold shoulder and never once tried to talk to her.