I M Still Your Mother Analysis

Chapter Five: “He Said, She Said”
Here, the focus is on the differences between genders in a family. Tannen explains that both males and females have different speech patterns. She explains that women use “rapport-talk” which is “the verbal give and take that makes family what it is: intimate, close, relaxed” (Tannen D., 2001, p. 124). Women like to talk about personal things such as what they’re planning on wearing for a trip, what they want to do, and what they’re excited for. Men on the other hand tend to focus on what Tannen calls “report-talk” or talking only about information and facts. Men will mostly talk about how they’re getting to their destination, what time they are leaving. She also describes how men and women react differently to competition and teasing. Men tend to be more competitive and tease more compared to girls. Women tend to be more indirect than guys and give subtle hints compared to guys saying

Tannen explains that mothers still want to help their grown children by giving them advice. However this advice just sounds like criticism to the children. A piece of advice can make them feel as if their mothers do not believe in their competence. The mothers see this differently however. Mothers give advice to show their affections, not to criticize. Tannen describes the mother-child relationship as a “tug-of-war between wanting to be close and feeling angry when that closeness does not guarantee approval” (Tannen D., 2001, p. 212).
This chapter also goes over how mothers are treated in societies all over the world. Mothers tend to be overlooked and taken for granted. Mothers are always around and helpful, but that helpfulness isn’t realized until it is gone. The same goes for grandmothers as well. Mothers and grandmothers are often the peace keepers, or the “Chief of Communications” as Tannen explains (Tannen D., 2001, p.