Humorous Wedding Speech by a Fellow Engineering Student

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Humorous Wedding Speech by a Fellow Engineering Student

Ladies and Gentlemen – hello! I would like to start by thanking Eric, on behalf of the bridesmaids, for his kind words. I am sure you will all agree that they look absolutely gorgeous and have carried out their duties magnificently. I’m not sure how much tequila it took, but the bride arrived one time and seemingly cured of all her wedding day nerves.

Also, we shouldn’t forget James, the pageboy, who has also done a sterling job today. You may have noticed that he was entrusted with the rings and not me, the supposed best man. Eric, I know we were students together – and back in those days I would have certainly been tempted to pawn them both for some extra beer money – but please, the drinks today are already on you.

For those who don't know, I met Eric at Swansea University, where we both spent three years not reading for a degree in Engineering. That said, we did conduct some excellent practical research on tika masala viscosity, chapatti-nan absorbency co-efficients, and the fluid dynamics of snakebite and black.

Actually, we met in the first term in our Hall launderette. He came over and asked me if I knew how to operate the machines. It was about the 8th week of term – and the clean clothes he’d arrived from home with 2 months earlier were in desperate need of liquid refreshment. There’s only so much that deodorant can do for a pair of boxer shorts.

Anyway, we got chatting and I was immediately impressed by Eric's friendliness, his willingness to talk lucidly on just about any subject, his quick mind, and how those same boxer shorts managed to make their own way to the washing machine. But more about those scholarly days shortly.

As I did only meet Eric a few years ago, I’ve had to rely on his own account of earlier years. Apparently, the young Eric Wilson was an exceptionally gifted child. He sat his GCSE’s whilst his contemporaries were doing the 11-plus and then concentrated on his first novel, which he published at the age of 15.

When it came to A-levels, his English teacher was left in tears when he opted for the Sciences. He then reluctantly turned down offers from Oxford, Cambridge and Harvard, in order to study at that other great beacon of learning – Swansea.

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