Humorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen.
For those of you that are wondering why there are two best men standing up here, it’s perfectly simple. Arthur wanted to appoint a best man for the occasion, but sadly couldn’t find one, so he got two barely competent ones instead.
So before I start, let me clarify the ‘role’ situation.
Dennis, Arthur’s university friend and very trustworthy, was responsible for carrying the rings in church. I am Steve, Arthur’s childhood friend and very good with lager (beer). I was responsible for organizing the stag weekend (bachelor’s party). We both had the responsibility of getting him to the church on time, smartly dressed and sober… but neither of us could achieve that last part.
And, regrettably, we have both been asked to give a short speech. So why does it take two of us to describe the bridegroom? Well, as the man in Moss Bros said, 'There's a lot to fit in'. But you can rest assured that I’ll be keeping my part brief… as I know the other bloke (guy) can drone on for hours!
So what can I tell you about Arthur Wilson? He is my oldest friend and I’m convinced that without his guiding hand while we were growing up I would have been half the man I am today… and certainly twice as popular. From an early age we lived a few doors away from each other, so not only did we become great friends we also became great rivals, and obviously ...
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...y became trapped in the sticky beer socked carpet, the music was too loud for a conversation and it was pretty dark as well. Everything was in Arthur's favour!
Playing hard to get though, Linda tells me it was months before she fell for Arthur. But having witnessed how quickly they progressed to a cat and five kittens, I'm not so sure.
Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for listening to Steve and myself. If you’re having a fantastic time today - which I’m sure you all are - that’s a direct result of the months of hard work and meticulous planning by Arthur and Linda. They have done an incredible job to make this a truly wonderful wedding, so please all stand as I propose this toast – to the bride and groom.
Brandon - Ladies and Gents before I continue I would like to point out to those of you who may be feeling the effects of the alcohol that there are actually 2 of us standing up here and no you are not seeing double.
When Kyle first asked me to be his best man, I thought it would be a terrific honour,
but she was alive and so was I (131). Before explaining his own condition he talks about the dog and also risks his own life for the life of the dog. Arthur has become more observant and less active: Before coming here I would never have been able to concentrate on such an ordinary thing so completely but would had been up and off. (p153) This proves, self evidently, that Arthur has experienced some sort of mental breakdown during his stay which has seriously affected his general life. At the beginning of the story he was interested in everyday life, towards the middle he has to struggles with his mind to convince himself, using extra brevity.
Now, I asked around for an idea of how long my speech should last, and the general response was about as long as it takes the groom to make love. So with that in mind, thank you, you have been a wonderful audience. (Sit and then get back up)
In preparing for today the groom has given us a list of things we have to do, so if you don't mind, for our sake and for yours, we would just quickly like to run through it, sorry.
As a best man, it is my job to keep all Daniel’s past female acquaintances at bay. I told her not to worry as the wedding is on a Friday, and I doubt they'd be allowed the day off school. So now I come to my final wedding day duty, which isn’t a duty really – it’s a real pleasure: on behalf of the bridesmaids and myself I sincerely wish you, Daniel, and your lovely wife, Kim, everlasting love and happiness! Ladies and gentlemen, to the bride and groom!
After Arthur was born, he was soon given to Sir Ector to be taken care of. He lived there thinking that Ector was his true father, Ector’s son, Kay was his true brother, and Sir Ector’s wife was his true mother.
When I was asked to be best man I consulted the Internet for help. I must confess I was perplexed by some of the things I was expected to do:
I have a large library of stories to tell you that will leave the groom embarrassed and humiliated, but out of respect for him on his big day I have decided not to tell them. So I'm not going to tell you about the time he vomited over a taxi driver's head or ended up in hospital on his stag do.
Ardrey, Adam. Finding Arthur: The Truth Behind the Legend of the Once and Future King.
“’Whoso pulleth out this sword is by right of birth king of England’” (Lang, pg. 21). These thirteen words define in every way how Arthur gained his early recognition. People from far and wide pulled with all their might, with hopes of drawing that sword out of the stone. However, not even the most noble and prestigious knights could do so. The only person to do so was young Arthur, who pulled the sword out so his foster-brother Sir Kay could participate in the tourney that day. After proving himself, he obtained the titl...
(1) Get the Groom to the Church sober and on time - well ladies and gentlemen I think you could all agree I have completed by first duty splendidly.
When I look at the bride and groom, I feel such a kaleidoscope of emotions. I know that Kari has found her true match and I know that theirs will be a marriage of long standing. My heart is bursting with love for you two today. I know you have a wonderful adventure ahead of you, and with God?s blessing your marriage will last for decades to come.
legendary Arthur and the real Arthur have been presented, and the two have been compared for the purpose of drawing conclusions as to why, perhaps, this mortal man was personified as a legendary warrior and king of his people. Now, with both the legendary Arthur and the "real" Arthur discussed, perhaps a new outlook on the Arthurian legends can be taken when a person hears about Arthur and his knights of the Round Table.
Kuder, S.J. (2008). Teaching Students with Language and Communication Disabilities (3rd edition). Boston, Massachusetts: Allyn and Bacon.