Humorous Wedding Speech

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For my seventieth birthday party speech I will say what I enjoyed about my life so far. It will start like this. Hey everyone I can’t believe I am seventieth already. Time flies like a bird can fly. I really enjoy everyone here and thank you all so much for coming today. You guys are welcome here anytime. I have enjoyed the laughing moments that you guys all bring. When you guys are seventieth and old I hope that you guys have as make fun has I have over the years. Having grand kids is a lovely thing and I can spoil them then send them back to you all with all the sugar I gave them! When we all are together it makes me feel blessed that I have every single one of you. Having my own kids I am happy that they are mine forever. Over the years

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I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to welcome, on this very happy occasion all relatives and friends of both families. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank especially my wife for not only being tolerant but more importantly an outstanding mother and the guiding influence in the upbringing of our daughter, culminating in today's celebrations.
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Waves of idle chatter emanated from the grand dining hall as the lords and ladies of Knavewich anxiously awaited the grand arrival of their ruler, King Abimelech. His Majesty was to be the officiator of the annual graduation banquet, a feast held in honour of the young squires who had proven themselves worthy of joining the Knavewich Coalition of Knights – the village’s elite defensive league. However, to the uneasy curiosity of the attendants, the king was mysteriously absent from his throne at the far end of the ebony table. The chamber was decorated exquisitely for the occasion.
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Good Morning Mavis, All is well with me and I hope all is well with you too. I enjoy reading your mails too and would always look forward to read more. I really love the photo you sent, you are gorgeous. How long have you been in the UK? I will keep looking at the photo and make sure I don't miss your pretty face and lovely smile..
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How do I spend a night with you as my king would change things in my life? Lord, thank you for giving me another day to see your manifested glory in my life. Thank you for allowing me to see another day that was not promised to me with all activities of my limbs and being in a right state of mind. Forgive me of my sins, those that I know of and those that I don’t. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.
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There are people who can give better advice, people who are older, more educated, and more experienced than I. Advice I could give you like “Don’t do drugs,” “Make good choices” have already been said many – many – many - many times. Thank You Mr. Hopkins. When I first sat down to write this speech, I was absolutely clueless about what to say. Like any other high school student, I Googled “Valedictorian speeches”
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How is your day? I hope that it’s going well. Did your girls do good at their competition today? How was your Aunts’ party? I’m sorry that you were not there to see them dance and that you were only able to spend an hour with your Aunt at her party.
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Hello Best friend Itzel. I'm writing to you this weekend for two reasons. The first because it's your birthday and the second is because I had to show this as an English task. First of all, congratulations for your day. I hope you have a great time in the company of your new friends from Mexico City and do not forget that your old friends are waiting for you at home.
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Good evening ladies and gentlemen of the United Kingdom. That you are watching this means I am deceased. I’m unsure of when the public will view this but I felt that conveying my side of the story was imperative. I have come to learn rather recently, and this is a hard thing for me to admit, but my mind is deteriorating and I want to have the final word and explain why I made the decisions I did… before I can’t anymore.
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I must admit that I really did not even know what a commencement address was before writing this speech. I mean of course I watched those of which were delivered by brilliant, world-renowned people such as J.K Rowling, Steve Jobs and yes, Ellen Degeneres speaking at the most prestigious of universities. I thought to myself who on Earth would care to listen to me, I am not brilliant nor am I world-renowned, though I often like pretend otherwise. Then I remembered that you are not graduating from a prestigious university so I guess we are equally the lesser in this situation.
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I stand here today, full of grief and guilt, that my beautiful wife, the daughter of Scotland, died here a cálend ago because of my erroneous doing. Today we have assembled here at, Dunkland cemetery to honour and pay our respects to this adoring wife, nurturing mother and daughter of Scotland. My wife was the epitome of loyalty, faithfulness and kindness but because of my selfishness and cunningness my beautiful wife tragically died. She was and still is my queen, filled with warmth, kindness and benevolence; unlike that cruel, disheartened “tyrant (’s)” wife.
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You're there for me all the time. No matter what time it is, and you just don't know how thankful I am for you. I remember meeting you in 5th grade Then I gave you a tbh the begging of 8th grade and then we started talking more. Then later you became my best friend, even though I wasn't yours at the time, you were most definitely mine
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I am so honored and proud to call you my brother. You are truly one of a kind. Whenever you set your mind to something you always achieve it. My friends always tell me how I have such a great brother but in reality I have an amazing brother! We might not always see eye to on things but you are always there to protect and guide me when I truly need it.
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Today i m sitting here and to tell you that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen would seem like pure flattery, but it is true. You are the epitome of it and I think of you all the time. I am not saying this to you just to say it, I am saying it because it is true. You know, throughout life, I have never found someone like you – finding someone like you is rare
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Brandon, The day we met was the greatest day of my life. I didn’t know it then, but suddenly right there in front of me, was everything I’d ever need. I feel incredibly blessed to have someone so wonderful love me the way that you do, even with all of my shortcomings. You are ambitious, kind, selfless, patient, forgiving and truly the most beautiful person inside and out.
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Humorous Wedding Speech

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Father of the Bride Wedding Speech