Humorous Best Man Speech

Humorous Best Man Speech

I would also like to thank you all for being here today to share in this very special occasion.

Before I begin my traditional destruction of the groom’s character, I would just like to say again how lovely the bride looks today. This is actually the first time I have made a speech (as you can probably tell), and it is true when they say that its nerve racking. In fact I could go so far as to say that I feel about as comfortable as Osama Bin Laden in the Whitehouse.

I only feel slightly better knowing that I am not the only one in the room who is apprehensive, but then again she has just married the groom. On the score of being nervous, I am sure that you have all heard the groom say over and over that he has not been at all nervous in the run up to today. Well, that all changed at about 9 o'clock this morning. I've known him for the best part of twenty-three years now and of course there are plenty of things I could tell you about what we were like as kids. Unfotunately, I did consult my solicitor and he tells me that we could still face prosecution, so maybe not.

The groom was as born in the early part of 1973 and while I’m not saying that was an omen, events later that year included the oil crisis, the release of The Exorcist, and of course the introduction of Value Added Tax (VAT) in the UK.

His mom was only saying last night that he was a pretty baby who was often mistaken for a girl and that as a child he loved nothing more than sitting for hours staring blankly at the TV. No change there then mate!

At five years of age, the groom started at the same school as me. I remember that he loved soccer and tried for the school team on every occasion. Unfortunately, he was found to be useless in every position (Turn to bride) Best of luck then!

As I got to know him, I realized that here was a man who thrived on daredevil sports and laughed in the face of danger. I tell you, in those days the groom with a hula hoop was a sight to behold.

As a kid he had a huge appetite for life, and this helped him become wise.