How To Annoy People
This paper will attempt to explore how to annoy people in many different situations these categories are as follows: how to annoy people in restaurants, chat rooms, while driving, and in the grocery store. Also explored are annoying your roommate, your neighbors, public bathroom stall mates, your teacher or professor, and the police.
The following are guaranteed ways to annoy at your favorite restaurant: Decline to be seated and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register. Pretend you do not understand what your server is saying no matter how much he/she yells or how slowly they say it. Ask your server for an extra seat and place setting for your imaginary friend. Wander around the restaurant asking other diners for their parsley. Slurp your soup. Eat out with your friends and forget your wallet. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon or pay for your dinner with pennies.
Getting a rise out of people by annoying the heck out of them was never this easy before chat rooms. First, ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE or only type in lowercase, and dont use any punctuation either. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant, if they ask what it means be demeaning and rude rather than giving them an explanation. TalkLikeThisInChatRooms.
CapitalizeTheBeginningOfEveryWordAndNeverUseSpaces. YouHaveNoIdeaHowAnnoyingThisCanGet. On the other hand, you could simply capitalize letters that ShouLDn't bE capitalized. Go into random chat rooms and say "Turkey," then leave and every 5 minutes, on the dot, send someone an instant message saying "Turkey" as well. Choose someone you do not like and annoy him/her until he/she leaves the chat room. Use the "find member" command and follow this person all over whatever online service you use. This may get you permanently kicked out of all the chat rooms, so make it worth it. Finally, e-mail some random person in a chat room and ask them why they keep harassing you.
If your passengers are annoying you, get relief by annoying the other drivers around you. When driving at a slower speed, stay in the left-most lane and when there is a lot of traffic behind you, always drive 8-20 MPH slower than the speed limit. These will definitely get you the finger by everyone who finally gets past you, so use sparingly if weak hearted. When dri...
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...assignments, or write your psychology paper on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a person to prefer anchovies. Finally, pwetend you have a speech impediment and awways type w's whenevew you weawwy want to type r's or l's.
The last category in our exploration on how to annoy people is the police. We will call this category "How To Be a 3 Time Loser on Your First Dealing With The Police." If you really want to annoy the wrong person, simply use one of these lines the next time you get pulled over: "Aren't you the guy from The Village People?" or "Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?" You could also try "I pay your salary," "I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer," "You're not going to check the trunk, are you," or "So, are you on the take, or what?" I do not recommend the next line unless you would like to experience police brutality, but here it is anyway: "Wow, you look like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night stand." I end this paper with my favorite how to annoy a police officer line which is "I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me."
“Excuse me, miss, can I see your license and registration, please?” Great. Pulled over once again, except this time I don’t even know what I did wrong. Apparently I made an unsafe lane change that resulted in an improper U-turn. I tried asking the officer what I did wrong, but as soon as I began speaking, he started talking over me. “Are you even from around here?” he asked me. “You look like you should’ve never even gotten your license.”
The Colorado River is formed by small streams created by a huge amount of snowmelt from the Rocky Mountains. The ecology and flow of the river varies highly by region. The river is divided into two different regions, the Upper Basin and the Lower Basin. Beginning in the early 1900s, western states began to build dams in the Colorado river, diverting the water flow to fast growing cities like Los Angeles, San Diego, and Phoenix. The river now services over 30 million in the southwestern parts of the United States and Mexico (Patrick 1). Diverting the water of the nation’s seventh-longest river may be seen has a great accomplishment, however to others this is a great crime against nature. Over the past couple years the river has been running significantly low, since a drought has come up the southwest. At the lakes edge, “bathtub rings”, lines in the rock walls, can be seen showing the decrease in water level. It is recorded in some areas of the river that the water has lowered 130 feet since 2000. Some water resource officials say those areas will never be filled back to normal. The surrounding states must adjust to living with less water or further actions need to be taken to save the river’s water. There has been some talk about adding water to the river to replenish the river but nothing has hap...
In the writing's of the Jonathan Swift we can clearly see issues and concepts with regard to morality, ethics and relations come into play in our society and in Gulliver's Travels, Swift brings those issues to the for front for everyone to see and analyze. The very concepts and beliefs that man holds dear Swift attacks and strongly justifies his literary aggression thought the construct of the society of the Houyhnahnms who truly leads a just and humane society that we as humans (Yahoos) have the faintest concept of. As I will later point out, Swift also deals with human ignorance and the overall belief that nothing in this earth can be more civilized and exert more reason then us. He uses the characters of the Houyhnahnms to demonstrate our inadequacies and overall failures to exert and practice true reason. Issues such as war, corruption, rape, homosexuality, lying (false representation), slavery, bribery, greed, and murder does not exist in a society that understands the true meaning of reason. We can clearly see the metamorphosis of Gulliver from is departure from his wife and children to being mutinied to his initial encounter with the Yahoos as well as the Houyhnahnms, to his experiences over a 5 year period in his interactions with the Houyhnhnms to his departure and return home to his wife and kids we can clearly see the change from a man (yahoo) to a Houyhnhnm (in spirit). So as we take a closer look at Gulliver's travels, we will see that the Voyage of the Houyhnhnm is about change, understanding, and clarity of oneself, his beliefs, morals and values.
be content enough to drive slower and get home in one piece even if it
Swifts Gulliver’s Travels enables us to critically and harshly analyse our world and encourages us to evaluate the customs of early 18th century English society in relation to an ideal humanity. In order to address the injustices prevalent in human constructs and behavior, Swift uses literary techniques to induce a state of extreme self-doubt. The satire's assessment of humanity's positive and negative traits is developed through Gulliver's awkward process of identifying with the loathsome Yahoos and idolising the rational Houyhnhnms. The allegory of a domestic animal portraying more "humanity" than humans exemplifies the flaws of human nature and the tumultuous, uncertain philosophical, ethical, and scientific thought, of Swifts period. The portrayal of the Houyhnhnms involves a direct attack on human nature. Although Gulliver's Travels Book IV makes a satirical attack on human nature in general, it does have specific targets in mind: namely, war and its associated destruction, the verminous, lying, criminal activities of lawyers, and the cruel shallowness of consumerism and wealth disparity. In intellectual terms the text leaves the reader feeling quite disturbed despite the use of humor and adventure telling. This essay will analyse Gulliver’s Travels Part 4 in terms of genre and will explore how the satire uses rhetorical means to provide commentary on rational humanity. In addition the essay will examine how Swift promoted change to early 18th century England by constructing an intricate attack on the philosophical position of his political adversaries.
Police Behavior during Traffic and Street Stops. 2011 . Retrieved November 18, 2013 from: http://www.bjs.gov/index.
The meat industry consumes over half of all water used for all purposes in the United States. Most of this water is used to irrigate cattle feedlots. Water utilized to produce 1 pound of meat amounts to 2,500 gallons. In comparison, the water utilized to produce 1 pound of wheat amounts to 25 gallons. In Texas, a quarter of the groundwater has already been used to grow crops for the expanding cattle feedlots and wells are drying up across the northern part of the state. Also, cattle contribute to water pollution. Cows are routinely washed and the runoff containing manu...
Either of these conditions can eventually lead to substance abuse, however if an individual is physiologically dependent there is evidence of tolerance or withdrawal. These individuals can often be helped with other life sustaining drugs to aid in the gradual process of altogether kicking the dependency. Individuals without physiological dependence have no signs of ever trying to rid themselves of their dependency either because the pain experienced without the drug is too much or it simply feels too good to be high. The DSM-IV has identified several markers for drug
... the Houyhnhnms as perfect creatures that live in a perfect society. Through this mental degeneration of Gulliver, Swift is showing that although reason is a good quality for human nature to possess, it should not be taken to an extreme, nor should it be the only governing principle of a society. Swift would like to see human nature ruled by reason for the most part (as the Houyhnhnms are), but with a slight essence of Yahoo traits as well.
Jonathan Swift's story, Gulliver's Travels, is a very clever story. It recounts the fictitious journey of a fictitious man named Lemuel Gulliver, and his travels to the fantasy lands of Lilliput, Brobdinag, Laputa, and Houyhnhmn land. When one first reads his accounts in each of these lands, one may believe that they are reading humorous accounts of fairy-tale-like lands that are intended to amuse children. When one reads this story in the light of it being a satire, the stories are still humorous, but one realizes that Swift was making a public statement about the affairs of England and of the human race as a whole.
After a series of different looks at society through the first three voyages, Gulliver travels to Houyhnhnmland where the nature of people themselves are given the strongest censure, by being directly paralleled with the loathsome Yahoos. Here Swift bluntly attacks almost every aspect of society, which is then compared to the Yahoos point by point by the Grey Mare. Gulliver and the reader finally identify themselves completely with the Yahoos (see close commentary), and Gulliver decides to abandon Yahooism forever. But, he is then immediately banished from the island by the Houyhnhnm assembly.
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers” -Dave Barry, comedian. The number of accidents over the last ten years have drastically increased, drivers are paying less attention to the road itself. Many individuals behind the wheel of a car believe that their driving does not affect the road conditions, however it always will. The driving habits of today are catastrophic due to the reasoning that the driving will affect other lives through reckless or distracted driving, and disobeying traffic laws.
The world would be a better place without you, you should go kill yourself. People often forget that there is somebody else behind the screen on the other side. The twenty-first century led to the development of several innovations, most notably the internet and social media. Despite its numerous benefits, people’s reliance on social media has spawned a new and dangerous concept called cyberbullying. Whether it is spreading rumours or sharing an inappropriate image of someone over the internet, cyberbullying is evident in this newly technology driven world. It is especially worrying when fifty percent of adolescents experience cyberbullying sometime during their lives and ten to twenty percent experience it on a regular basis
When I receive a rude waiter or waitress I can be very outspoken. I do not think that I should pay for a service that is not satisfactory. I can be even more outspoken when I am expressing my opinion to a server and I do not see any improvement. Receiving a rude server can ruin my entire experience and cause me to never go back.
I.Attention Getter: Speeding, tailgating, giving the finger and outright violence. Each day Americans grow more and more likely to take out their personal frustrations on other drivers. It is called aggressive driving and it is on the incline.