The Effect of Divorce on Children Works Cited Missing Divorce is always a traumatic experience in a person's life, especially a child's. When parents divorce, children are not always considered during the settlement. This omission can lead to problems with the child's perception of daily life. The impact divorce has on a family is more prominent to the children of the family than the parents. As a child, there are many situations that affect a view, memory, opinion, or attitude.
This is why they keep asking their parents to come back together. Their parents will often keep rejecting their request of coming back together, which also causes negative feelings to appear again during divorce. This is not only because their parents reject the child’s request, but also because children compare themselves with other children whose parents are not separated. Furthermore, some children tend to blame themselves for the divorce of their parents because it is emotionally easier for children to blame themselves than to put the blame on someone else. If the child blames himself or herself, he or she would think that they are the reason for the damage that happened in the relationship between their parents.
Whether it’s biological or environmental, personality disorders including depression, narcissism, and anxiety in parents directly affect their children. Everyone has someone they looked up to as a kid; children look to their parent to see how they should behave in society. When a parent has a psychological disorder, they have an inconsistent parenting style that can confuse the child as to how adults want them to act; a depressed parent can express anger one day, urging their child to get away from them, and sadness the next, looking to their child for comfort. Other symptoms are withdrawal, and a sudden lack of interest in things they used to enjoy. Depressed mothers view their surroundings negatively, which causes them to see negative characteristics in their child, making their parenting style cold, detached, and inconsistent.
Because of that, children express their own opinion while they communicating with their parents, challenge the opinion which given by their parents since they are young. Parents always consider that expressing opinion as rebel, and cause the conflict with their children. Part of the parents paid attention with their children’s opinion but in the same time they also worry that their children lost themselves. It cause a lot of parents don’t understand that why they having a big problem when they are communicating with their children. The main reason is that they have get the wrong way to communicate with their
They are taught to lie and to keep secrets from one parent in order to protect another parent. In a divorce, the parent that wants to fight for the marriage feels rejected by the parent that wants the divorce. This same rejection is felt by the children when the parents separate then announce they are getting a divorce. Some children go through identity crisis wondering who they are and what will become of them because they do not have the influence of both parents in the home. The loss of family structure and personal blame for the separation of their parents can affect the future of a child, the way they view themselves, the way they view the opposite sex, and the type person they choose for their husband or wife.
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action.
When two people decide to get a divorce, their children do not wholly understand what is going on. "Regardless of their age, children usually blame themselves when their parents divorce" (Bankston 382). They don't understand their parents anger at each other, so they believe this is happening because of something they have done. This is why parents need to open up and see that it is not just about themselves, but it is also about the welfare of their children. Children of any age have difficulty expressing hurt feelings and sadness to parents who are themselves angry and grieving.
And those are caused some negative attitudes of many parents of teenage children imposition and authoritarianism, misunderstanding, disrespect, intolerance, impatience, distrust, fear to be "out of hand" are parents instead of helping the children; exercise new skills like; reflection, critical thinking, reasoning, moral autonomy, privacy, openness to friendship, etc. the parents are engaged with the best intentions to stop them. This not only delay the maturation of their children but also provoke situations of isolation and
When a parent or both of the parents are depressed, they don’t want to do anything, which includes raising a child. When a child receives no parenting, he will grow up with bad manners, or even worse physical or emotional problems. Some people with depression will constantly ask their children for help, like bring thing them this and bringing them that. Children will grow up to not respect their parents, and maybe even hate them. Another factor that can diminish the quality of parenting is parents arguing, as shown in “The Little knife”.
Children usually think that they have to know everything that is going on in the family, things like divorce bring them down or make them upset. “Living away from one parent can be tough at first when families are used to seeing each other all the time” (IB,4). Parents need to understand that the kids will be affected by the decision that they make, like choosing to divorce. Some children seem to believe that the decision is their fault, they may feel guilty, which is very common to feel. The kids need to understand that even though the parents are separating, it does not mean that they do not love the kids anymore.