Groom's Wedding Speech - Humorous, but Not Offensive
Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history - the very first and last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. It is a privilege and an honor to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don't let her down.
Today has so far been a day beyond my wildest dreams. As a child, dreaming of my wedding day, I never dared imagine that I would end up marrying someone so intelligent, so witty, so popular, so gorgeous, and so altogether fantastic... (To his wife) Is this O.K. so far?
Ladies and gentlemen, it is apparently my job to do all the thankyous. The first and biggest thankyou is to all of you. Thank you all for choosing to share today with us. We are delighted and touched to see so many of you here. And thank you, of course, for all the wonderful gifts.
The father of the bride, on the other hand, who is picking up the bill for dinner, is completely distraught. When he saw the guest list with addresses in Ireland, Egypt, the U.S.A., Scotland, as well as the four corners of England, he was delighted, since he felt sure that most of you wouldn't make the effort to turn up. It's to his credit that during his speech you would never have guessed he is in fact a broke, or rather a broken, man.
On the subject of his speech I’d like to thank him for his kind words. I hope that, as his daughter's husband, I can live up to the image he painted of me or, failing that, at least continue to keep pulling the wool over his eyes!
We would also like to thank my wife's parents for all their efforts in organizing today. Their support has been invaluable, advice sound, and check-book largely available. I'd pe...
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...he end and I know that whatever the future holds we’ll live it happily together.
Of course this doesn't explain why it has taken us so long to get married. Well, outside church today, I was talking to one of her friends and she told me that, according to my wife, its all about maturity. She had asked my wife why we were getting married now, after all this time, and her response was this...
"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out as grapes. It’s our job to stamp on them and then keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with..."
It is my eternal good fortune that my wife's taste in wine is cheap, unrefined, and immature.
Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you again for being here today, for the wonderful gifts, for your good wishes and most of all for your friendship now and in the future. Here's to a wonderful evening.
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Ladies and gentlemen, may I start my speech by welcoming the guests. Today, we are surrounded by most of the friends and family that have been important to us during our lives. Some have traveled thousands of miles, just to be here today. We welcome you all and thank you sincerely for sharing this special day with us.
There have been countless people throughout time who were wonderful people, and Anne Frank was one of those people. She has multiple great quotes such as, “In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.” Most people would have considered Anne to have been a brave individual. I also feel that Anne was a extremely honorable person. Another characteristic of Anne that made her so wonderful is that she was persistent.
However, before I begin, on behalf of John and Angie I would like to thank everyone who has helped to make this the special day that it is - and I think we can all agree it has been splendid so far.
Good afternoon, let me just start by saying that the kindness, support, friendship, and love extended to me and my family during this difficult time has really touched my heart- we are sincerely appreciative!
Now I was a bit unsure about the duties of a best man, although I told Brian very early on that there was no way I was going to get off with a bridesmaid – I say that with no offence intended to Claire and Nicola who I’m sure you’ll all agree look lovely, and have done a great job today. So to find out what was expected of me, I turned to the internet and managed to find some really interesting stuff… but then remembered what I had gone onto it for in the first place, and set about plagiarising other people’s speeches from all the wedding sites I could find. So I accept no responsibility if this end result is rubbish. I know many of you will have been to a few weddings in your time, so can I suggest that you entertain yourselves quietly by playing wedding bingo – every time you hear a witty comment in my speech that you have already heard at another wedding, give yourself a point and the first one to five wins a piece of wedding cake.
Good evening. I would like to begin by welcoming each and every one of you to this joyous and stressful occasion.
Thank you for the time you take to give me an extra hug or tell me I am wonderful. Those silent moments recharge my senses of appreciation for you.
The main reason I wanted to make a speech was to personally say thank you to some very special people who have contributed to today:
Anthony, I hope you now see that it was never going to be that easy – which brings me onto your stag night.