Grief Counseling

It’s important to talk about your grief, but it is also important to be choosy about who you share your grief with. Some people are better than others at listening with empathy. Be selective. Pick just a few people to be completely open and honest with about your feelings.

Difficult conversation over dinner:

There are times that are more conducive to open conversations. As time goes by, you can be more selective about how and with whom you express your grief. Sharing a memory and a meal seems to go together very well. There is something very comforting in “breaking bread together”.

Family is the primary emotional support for many of us. We have co-workers and friends, but no one knows us like our family. For others, our closest friends take the place of family. The Bible describes some friends as sticking closer than brothers. These friends tend to love us unconditionally. They are also the ones who will be more likely to tell us the truth even when it is painful for us to hear it. We can share our deepest thoughts with these people, and share the brokenness in our spirit. But even our family and closest friends cannot share our grief indefinitely.

It seems all cultures have an unspoken limit on how long it is acceptable to continue sharing grief. You may find people avoiding you, or shutting you down if you talk about your grief for too long.

Most people will eventually grow weary of sharing their grief story. There will come a point where they just don’t want to talk about it anymore. Some people will never completely get “over” their grief. This is different than being stuck and not being able to move past the grief to a point where you can function without the grief being present and interfering ...

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...here is no remembrance of you; in Sheol who will give you praise? I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes. Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer. All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.

Psalm 6 seems to be the quintessential psalm for the person enduring suffering. The 6th Psalm seems to feel our pain along with us. It has been described as the psalm of those in the hospital when the painkillers are not enough – the up all night crying out in desperation psalm. If you don’t know how you should mourn, perhaps King David’s example in Psalm 6 will help.