Greater Opportunities

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With my fingers intertwined, they turned a ghastly white as I fell on my knees in front of the altar. I gasped for air as my chest constricted for the need of oxygen, a consequence of my persistent sobs. Sounds of worship echoed around my vulnerable state, but my thoughts were focused alone on the presence of Him. Past memories flew through my mind like the pages of a book, and as I flickered through the pages, grief and remorse plagued my shattered faith. As I hung my head in shame and engulfed my vision in twilight, I silently choked out, “I’m so sorry…
“I’ve been nothing but dishonest to you, Lord…” I said with a quiver as my mental being finally began to break down, approaching failure to hold back my harsh cries. “I could’ve done more for you… I know this now. I don’t deserve your endless love and forgiveness, God…
“I committed my entire life to you Lord, yet turned my back to you. My harsh words that spoke of the doubt I had in your presence were nothing but lies. Even before this retreat I attended against my will, the small flicker of faith in my heart had nearly lost its spark,” I quietly whimpered to myself, tasting the salty, metallic flavor of blood in my mouth as I bit my tongue to fight back a new, fresh wave of tears.
My legs continued to grow numb from my current sitting position, and I sourly considered it as punishment for my disloyalty. The melody of the gospel was now a hushed murmur, and the worshippers around me gradually obtained a form identical to my own. The sanctuary was filled with whispers of prayer, and the lights were dimmed to focus on the stage. It felt as if I was alone with God now, having my own conversation with Him.
I tensed as one hand gently caressed my shoulder, the other gingerly placed a...

... middle of paper ...

...ered my passion to spread His word to those in suffering, just like myself.
As retreat came to a close, I came home baptized into a new life lead by God. I was no longer embarrassed of the Lord, because I knew and believed that He was truly real and almighty. With my renewed loyalty, I closely worshipped Him wherever I went. As the seasons changed and graduation had passed, I gleefully accepted the opportunity to spend my time in the Philippines and further develop my devotion to God.
I beamed from the back of the small, cramped church as I watched newfound followers of Christ of young and old intently listen to the sermon. I quietly walked outside and took a seat upon a nearby bench, neatly folding my hands in my lap.
“Thank you, Lord,” I said, looking up to the clear, blue skies, “for giving me this opportunity. Thank you for giving me a chance to serve you.”

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