Gender Differences in Communication
Every race, culture, civilization, and society on this planet shares two things in common: the presence of both the male and female sex, and the need to communicate between the two. "The subject of gender differences appears to have engaged peoples’ curiosity for as long as people have been writing down their thoughts, from as far back as the writing of the creation of Adam and Eve, to its current popular expression in books such as Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."
The assertion that men and women communicate in different ways, about different things, and for different reasons seems to go un-argued and is accepted as true by a vast majority of Americans. It is the reason why we communicate differently that conjures up quite a bit of debate and conversational turmoil. One of the most traditional hypothesis is the one John Gray wrote about in his book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, which essentially points to differences in brain structure, hormones, and socialization as the cause of such an enormous gender gap in communication.
But that was then and this is now, scientists throughout the world are working to learn more about gender differences in communication, and much has been discovered since the days of "Mars & Venus." One such research team is that of Canary and Hause of the "Communication Quarterly." In their study, they conclude that the previous 50 years of research on sex differences in communications, such as that of John Gray, brought about no conclusive findings for such differences. The researcher's analyses of their findings provided evidence for an expectation of small differences due to sex: approximately 1% of variance, concluding that the effects ...
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...ffering the law on what is male and what is female behavior.
As we begin the twenty first century we enter a world of rules and regulations, a world where what we say and do is controlled by cultural stereo-types, some age old, some contemporary, and some that are deciding factors in how we live our lives. Through recent research we have learned that gender differences in communication are not something that we are born with, they’re not due to differences in brain matter, and they’re certainly not due to the two sexes being from different planets. We are who we are and we communicate how we communicate because it is what society and culture demand of us. Although this sounds like a simple difference that can easily be resolved you might be surprised; disregarding everything you’ve ever learned about the difference between boys and girls is a mighty big task.
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” as the famous saying of John Gray goes. It is believed men and women are nothing alike in almost every aspect. In Deborah Tannen’s essay “Gender in the classroom: Teacher’s Classroom Strategies Should Recognize that Men and Women Use Language Differently” she focused on how men and women differ when it comes to communicating, with emphasis on how it effects to how men and women behave in the classroom.
Deborah Tannen has achieved scholarly and public praise for her conclusions about how women and men differ in conversational styles. You Just Don’t Understand[6] clarifies stylistic differences in how the two sexes communicate with each other.
Women get typecasted based on varied issues, which causes many to think why females are the only ones being addressed. One stereotype that challenged assumptions of many is the stereotype of how much men and women like to speak (“Stereotypes Against Women”). A great number of people think women are more excessively communicative than men. The stereotype is so pervasive that it is said men supposedly speak about 7,000 words per day while women speak about 45,000 words per day (“Stereotypes Against Women”). Although this is just an estimate of how much speaking is done by both the genders, this wasn’t even near as to what the actual result was when microphones were put on them to record how much they communicate throughout the day. “The stereotype was proven inaccurate as both men and women speak about 17,000 words per day” (“Stereotypes Against Women”). It’s not offensive to think women are talkative, but what gives it that impression is the way people compare men and
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
“Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences” (Gray 14). Gender communication differences are very complex, yet somewhat remarkable. Dr. John Gray explains that it is as if men and women come from different planets. Unfortunately, many times men and women forget that they are supposed to be different (10). In addition to the biological natural differences between males and females, society treats and values each gender very differently, all of which plays a big part in how they communicate (Papadopoulos 2). Dr. Gray states, “When you remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, everything can be explained” (10). If a man and woman do not take the time to understand, respect, and become aware of their differences,
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
In the introduction of Deborah Tannen’s “Conversation Style: Talking on the Job”, she compares and contrasts the ways men and women communicate. This reminds me of what I tell people that are struggling in their relationships. Women and men express themselves differently. Women think, but men act. If you can’t wrap your head around this, being in a relationship with anyone is going to be hard. Yet, this is such a basic way of looking at this issue. Not only are the genders vastly different, but each person relates to the world around them in a certain way. He or she also needs to be related to in a specific way. Looking at personalities and personal histories can give a better look at the way we communicate with each other. Tannen examines
Lieberman, Simma. “Differences in Male and Female Communication Styles” Simma Lieberman Associates (undated). Retrieved February 25, 2010<
Several weeks ago I observed a woman at the Mall. She and a young man sitting directly across from each other were engaged in what was apparently a mutual flirting. But the younger man seemed much more confident and cocky than did the woman. For one thing, he was more relaxed and calm. The woman, however, kept her arms folded over a bag that she was holding on to very tightly. The woman also had a strong tendency to look down more often than the man. Although her admiration for him was obvious, she seemed to be trying hard to conceal it. Often women seem to be more noticeably shy than men. Non-verbally, their “body language'; seems to communicate their feelings of great uncertainty and self-consciousness.
One of the most important topics in communications is gender communications and that is why I decided to write about it. Gender communication is communication about and between women and men. It is the most important thing to almost everyone in the world. I learned about gender communication in a class last year with Naaeke and I think it is really important to have if any ones wants to have a good relationship with someone and everyone usually wants to build there life through a relationship between a man and a women.
relationship problems between men and women because of the fundamental psychological differences between them. The author represents men and women from two different planets. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This book also states the difference of values of men's and
Men and women are more different than one can imagine. Though the main difference is in physical appearance, another difference is their sense of communication. Women appear to talk more than males, but like to keep their conversations more private. Males, on the other hand, will talk less, but do not mind their conversations being more public. This is just one of many examples of men and women being completely opposite of one another in terms of communication. Each gender has their own expectations of the opposite. These expectations are not usually met due to communication differences, which leads to criticisms such as, “Men do not listen” or “Women will never understand” to form. The most common assumption for why expectations are not met
...or a relationship”. In genderlects, there is no superior or inferior method of communication, but rather, men and women just communicate differently. By understanding these differences, one can reduce the amount of misunderstandings in future conversations.
Essentially, we are all different. We use language differently and interpret language differently. This is what we base our perceptions of others on, thus it is ultimately what dictates our interaction with others. The fact that men’s and women’s interaction differs because the two sexes generally interpret things differently is not a strange phenomenon, because we are all different.
Our capacity as human beings to acquire and express complex methods of communication has been one of the biggest driving forces of humanity’s success. These complex linguistic systems are what we know as language. Language gives us a method of expressing concepts, emotions, and ideas in a varied way which sets us apart from all other animals. Language and gender is an area of sociolinguistics and related fields which attempt to define the differences in language related to gender, and what the inferences of these differences may be.