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Gender Communication in the United States
Gender is a structure that outlines what it means to be a man or woman. Therefore, gender communication is the communication of men and women. It is about how members of a certain sex relate to the other. (Arliss, 1991, p.13). Both male and females have different perceptions towards each, and they are believed to behave differently because their gender qualities. Then, there are different viewpoints about communication between men and women. A common one is that men and women talk differently. But I am going to discuss the other standpoint that there are no differences in intergender communication.
In the U.S, just like any other part of the world, there has been a focus on the differences between
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It is, therefore, correct to say that we are said to fit a particular gender because of the things that we do. Therefore, the only difference is the action, not the communication. (Wood, 2005, p.97). If both men are women are faced a similar problem in communication, each of them will handle the situation on the basis of gender but the challenge remains the same to both genders.
For communication between men and women to take place, both parties must have open minds. An open mind in this case means the willingness to communicate. If one party is unwilling to converse or to connect, then the connection becomes invalid. The fact that both genders can connect when they are open minded shows that there is no difference in communication. For communication to be effective, open minds are required between the two
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Both men and women communicate to achieve similar goals though at different times. The purpose of the communication might be to; remind, inform, educate or even entertain. The choice of topics doesn’t matter, but they will all targeting to achieve similar goals. For example, a man gives a speech about disasters, and the female counterpart gives a lecture about politics. (Cooper, 2003, p.85). The issues are very different but informing the students is the primary goal for both genders. Therefore, the fact that the reasons for communication are always same, it demonstrates that there is no difference in male and female communication.
The effects of their communication are the same. Both male and female converse, the outcomes are always the same. Their communication triggers actions. Actions, in this case, means, ways of thinking or taking different approaches on various issues. If the connection between one genders doesn’t trigger any action, then the communication would be said to be entirely different. But since there are always results and actions that result from gender communication, it becomes an indicator that there are no differences between male and female communication. (Cooper, 2003,
Tannen points out “a greater percentage of discussion time is taken by men’s voices.” (2) She tells us why this is a disadvantage to the women in the classroom. She then continued to separate the two genders into their given stereotypes. Girls tend to separate themselves from large groups; they talk amongst
... women speak and the type language they use would be dependent on their comfort level in a certain situation. Women and men commination and speak varies as per situation. In spite of the differences, we should not pay much attention on them. “Men and women are simply people and that what have in common is more important the la difference”. Emphasizing the gender differences only extend the gap between men and women and create more discrimination.
Verbal communication is intended to deliver a specific message (Carnes, 2015). It is ideal for communicating face to face, long distance, or even using technology driven formats (Carnes, 2015). Nonverbal communication is immediate (Carnes, 2015). Through the eyes or even a soft touch, emotions can be displayed (Carnes, 2015). As it relates to men and women, there are differences in how both use verbal and non-verbal communication. Men communicate verbally to offer solutions that are goal oriented (Carnes, 2015). Women communicate verbally to show empathy and focus on relationship building (Carnes, 2015). On the other hand, women are very in tune to understanding non-verbal communication, while men tend to miss subtle signals (Carnes,
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
In her article “But What Do You Mean” Deborah Tannen, claims that there is a huge difference in the style of communicating between men and women. Tannen breaks these down into seven different categories; apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. With each of these she compares men to women by explaining the common misconceptions that each of the genders do. The different style of communication can cause some problems at the workplace and even affect the environment. The different styles of communication has been around forever and almost becomes a “ritual”(299). Tannen is effective with mainly women and not men. She is primarily successful with women due to the fact that her tone targets women, also the organization
...ind this to be a typical male trait. Our surveys and research found however, that these types of traits are normally associated with men within the business world. Through our research, we found that in a male dominated society, adapt to the male styles of communication. As we have previously stated, the styles of communication between genders differ greatly. Men tend to use conversation to obtain data whereas women use conversation to create connections. Through our research, we also came up with some solutions for bridging the communication gaps between males and females. To reduce miscommunication, males and females must learn to interpret the messages being sent to them. They must learn to understand the speakers' motives and background. In effective communication, one must realize the experiences of the speaker and listener, and work to create a common understanding of the messages being created. Males should try to understand the female need for connection whereas females need to understand the male need for data. If the two cultures can learn to combine their styles by offering information while creating a connection, the male and female communication gap will be bridged.
Something that has made an acceleration to several arguments is gender communication (Oluwagbemi-Jacob 225). The gender
In the introduction of Deborah Tannen’s “Conversation Style: Talking on the Job”, she compares and contrasts the ways men and women communicate. This reminds me of what I tell people that are struggling in their relationships. Women and men express themselves differently. Women think, but men act. If you can’t wrap your head around this, being in a relationship with anyone is going to be hard. Yet, this is such a basic way of looking at this issue. Not only are the genders vastly different, but each person relates to the world around them in a certain way. He or she also needs to be related to in a specific way. Looking at personalities and personal histories can give a better look at the way we communicate with each other. Tannen examines
...a meaningful communication to take place. In conclusion, there are differences between men and women that go beyond social nurture. These differences have their origin in their genes. The differences evident in men and women are translated in their behavior and communication. There are possibilities of these differences in their turn raising the problem of failing to understand one another because in a communication men and women have a different set of expectations from each other. It is essential to understand and appreciate these differences for a meaningful communication to take place.
Several weeks ago I observed a woman at the Mall. She and a young man sitting directly across from each other were engaged in what was apparently a mutual flirting. But the younger man seemed much more confident and cocky than did the woman. For one thing, he was more relaxed and calm. The woman, however, kept her arms folded over a bag that she was holding on to very tightly. The woman also had a strong tendency to look down more often than the man. Although her admiration for him was obvious, she seemed to be trying hard to conceal it. Often women seem to be more noticeably shy than men. Non-verbally, their “body language'; seems to communicate their feelings of great uncertainty and self-consciousness.
One of the most important topics in communications is gender communications and that is why I decided to write about it. Gender communication is communication about and between women and men. It is the most important thing to almost everyone in the world. I learned about gender communication in a class last year with Naaeke and I think it is really important to have if any ones wants to have a good relationship with someone and everyone usually wants to build there life through a relationship between a man and a women.
Wood, J. T. (2011). Gendered Verbal Communication. Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender, and Culture (10th ed., pp. 118-137). Boston, MA: Cengage.
Gender, on the other hand, refers to the sociological differences between male and female. This teaches males and females to behave in various ways due to socialisation (Browne, 1998). Example: masculinity and femininity. Girls are supposed to show their femininity by being non-competitive, sensitive, dependent, attractive and placid. If and when some girls don’t succeed in keeping this image, they will be referred to as a tomboy.
Wardhaugh states different social norms defining the standards of being men or women, which has a profound influence on the language behavior shown by different genders. In other words, both men and women should possess the ability to show either masculinity or feminity through the language they use. When this ability overlaps with the other gender, however, one might be considered as as outsider of their own gender. He then lists the main differences between males and femals with the connection with language: genetic differences, social differences (e.g. various roles people take within a certain society), and linguistic differences (e.g. speech style and word choice). Doing so, he gives readers an indepth idea about how gender differences link to various language behaviors. He further explains how these differences are possibly created and constructed in society. Wardhaugh also examines a few common gender stereotypes, such as women talk more than men, and proves most of the stereotypes are wrong.
Essentially, we are all different. We use language differently and interpret language differently. This is what we base our perceptions of others on, thus it is ultimately what dictates our interaction with others. The fact that men’s and women’s interaction differs because the two sexes generally interpret things differently is not a strange phenomenon, because we are all different.